stupid DH vent

Gah! Men can be so stupid!

After feeding DD at 5:30 this morning, I went out to the living room to find DH talking on the phone with all the lights on. DS's crib is in the living room. (1-br condo, what can you do.) Before I could do anything, DS woke up (of course!) - and even though he was just making quiet happy sounds and might have gone back to sleep, DH picked him up and was walking back and forth in the bright room talking on the phone.

By then I managed to get DH to hang up, and exploded at him for wrecking DS's sleep. His excuses? "But I wasn't talking loud." "Don't they usually get up at this time?" Uh, NO, we are aiming for them to sleep until SEVEN. And btw, DH is home until about 8:15 in the mornings, he SEES what time the babies get up every day, and it's usually between 6:30 & 7.

ARGHHH! @#$(*% IDIOT! How dumb can you possibly be?

And of course I'm the one who'll be stuck with a cranky sleep-deprived baby all day.

 

I feel you DH and I live in a one bedroom loft Downtown ( we weren't expecting our twins). So I totally understand. He doesn't understand that they will go right back to sleep after eating as long he doesn't wake them up too much. He will let them scream and cry until their bottle is ready instead of picking them up and soothing them or he will try to change their diaper first while they are starving which gets them all revved up. It's practically pointless for him to "help" at night because I wake up from them screaming and can't go back to sleep plus I am trying to listen to everything that is going on (I know psycho, right) and then I end up trying to soothe them back to sleep. Oh well gotta love them they just aren't wired the way we are. When I get really frustrated I try and pause and ask myself the ultimate question "would I want to do this without him?" the answer is alway NO WAY!

 

Sometimes I think they have blinders on <_< Occasionally I think they know that we do all of the scheduling so they dont have to worry about what time they wake up or ruining a nap. They just dont have to "think" since we do it all most of the time.

 

They simply DO NOT THINK sometimes! Mine doesn't understand the concept of "bedtime routine." Watching football with the lights on and feeding a baby is not part of the routine! Neither is putting on PJs at 5 pm ?? It makes me so mad sometimes!

 

:hug99:

 

Oy!!

I have to admit that my DH is pretty good about most aspects of parenting -- we're both a little type A, so if I tell him that things need to happen a certain way, he's good about agreeing and following through.

BUT, he's also a man, and does things that make me crazy. If he's feeding the babies by himself in the nursery, he will always put on some stupid sports talk radio. I can't stand it! I mean, they're only awake for 90 minutes maximum -- TALK to them! Play with them! Don't just listen to the radio. Sheesh.

And at night, our routine is that I pump while he gets the babies up from their last catnap, and does tummy time and gets the bath ready, etc. Well, he puts the TV on in the bedroom -- usually some game -- and runs back and forth between the nursery and the bedroom....which is not a big deal, but the babies cry and squeal and generally make a lot of noise, and I just ask that he closes the nursery door so our 3-year-old doesn't wake up. But, he never remembers.....and I sit there hooked up to the pump, gritting my teeth.

Gotta love 'em...

 

Yeah, what is it with the need to watch/listen to a game while with the babies? I take one up to the nursery to feed in the evening and he hangs out with the one who's "on deck," and even though he knows they need to be calming down, I can hear him listening to the game with the baby on his lap...if I say anything he says, "He's not looking at the screen." Right.

In a way, it's cute, especially when I overhear him explaining the rules of baseball, but could he just not do it during the bedtime routine?

 

All of this is so true. Men just aren't wired like we are. Our girls sleep in the crib in our room and when he gets up in the mornings he tries to be quiet but he has trouble and he always leaves the bathroom light on when he is looking for his stuff. When we get them ready for bed he will feed one and I will feed one. I always hold the baby I am feeding a look at her a talk to her. He always lays them on his knees propped up and pokes the bottle in and watches tv. gggrrrrrrhhhhhh. Sometimes I will tell him "daddy someone is looking at you" and then he gets the picture and will pay attention to her. Oh well you gotta love them. If we didn't love dh we wouldn't be with them.

Missy

 

QUOTE
When I get really frustrated I try and pause and ask myself the ultimate question "would I want to do this without him?" the answer is alway NO WAY!


Oh, you are so right! I could never do this without him (even with all the crazy blunders ). One of his supervisors at work had twins, and her husband left her when they were 3 months old. She raised twins singlehandedly while working full time. WOW. I am so lucky to have a good DH around. Even on days like today.

 

Wait, you're NOT supposed to watch a game during bedtime? THAT must be what I've been doing wrong all this time! LOL

One thing my DH asked for, actually, is for me to send him our schedule. He recognizes that he doens't do well if he doesnt' know what the plan is. (Ok, so schedule is a bit excessive, but at least the schedule we're AIMING for!)

although the whole game thing - ugh, this morning, when he had them (he generally takes them after 5 am til about 7:45 so i can get some sleep;, well someone was kvetching and crying for HALF AN HOUR, and he put them back in their crib. i commented on it and he said "impossible, i just put them down".....of course, when i left the house, i saw that the newspaper was open on the front porch (a separate rant, I know how to fold a newspaper when i'm done with it, is that a skill that having a penis gets in the way of???!!!!); so I just KNOW that he was out there reading while they were in their exersaucers waking mommy!

GRRRRRRRRRR