stupid comments

My aunt -( who may as well be my mom, she raised me) never bf any of her kids and discouraged her daughter from bf her son after the first try when Carson did not latch on immediatly - saying that formula was just as good and easier!! well she has been really against me bf the twins - she thinks that I am only doing it because dh is cheap (which is true but he would buy formula if we needed it) I was talking to her loast night and she told me that people that bf past 6 months or so must "enjoy" it - like sexually!!!! I said "WHAT"!!!!!
I feel like she would say anything to get me to stop!! and why? it is not affecting her in anyway- I just wanted to cry!!
I love her very much but now I don't want to go to her house - I don't want her to think I am "enjoying" myself by feeding my babies!!

why do people have to be like that?? I wish people would be more supportive I mean I don't look at a mother who is bottle feeding and say - you should breastfeed - I figure women do what they feel is best for their baby(ies)!!

 

Yikes Heather!! I am VERY cheap and that is one of the reasons propelling me to breastfeed for the whole year, truth be told. Its sad that she has that mindset but hand her the AAP recommendation and tell your that your pedi wants you to go for the year. She may not accept breastfeding but if the pediatrician say it, her response may be different!
:hug99:

 

I'm so sorry she's being like that :hug99: It must be very hard to hear that coming from someone very close to you.

Because she has never BF, she can't possibly understand that there is nothing sexual at all about BF, and the age of your baby makes absolutely no difference in that regard. When your baby turns 6 months, you do not suddenly wake up one day and see them as an adult - it's just ridiculous! Like, suddenly you wake up one day and are turned on by BF?! That is just a warped and twisted opinion. It's very sad that some people think that way.

Breastfeeding is the way nature intended us to feed our babies. Formula is the closest we can get to producing breast milk in a factory, but unfortunately, it is not "just as good" as BM. There is something major missing in the recipe: live cells, antibodies. These are missing from formula, and are essential to building your baby's immune system. And they will never get the recipe exactly right in terms of nutrition because BM changes to suit your baby's nutritional needs as they get older.

And the physical intimacy is important for your babies' emotional development, IMO. Regardless of age.

The AAP does recommend BF to at least a year. If she doesn't believe you, maybe she will believe the experts. Maybe go to their website and print something off to show her.

The problem here is that society has a view of woman's breasts as sexual objects, and this has overshadowed their true purpose: the means of feeding our children. It's all about public perception.

Sorry, this makes me so mad, I could go on and on and on! The bottom line is that you are giving your girls the best possible start in life and you should be proud of that!

Michelle

 

I'm so sorry you can't get the support you need (and deserve!!) from someone so special to you :hug99: PP is right, she can't relate to BF without the experience, but you are making great decisions and she should support and encourage you!

 

I'm sorry she's not being more supportive. It amazes me how many people think there is something sexual about bf - makes me wonder about them honestly.

 

Anyone who has never breastfed has no clue. I think about back before I had kids.. I had no clue and had no 'right' to give advice about kids! Sorry that her comments are poor... just take them with a grain of salt! :hug99: DOn't let her get you down!

 

Ditto to all the comments; it's too bad you have to deal with that negativity. I find that being direct is a great way to confront people - not nasty and confrontational, but simply giving them the info (fyi, the aap says one year, the WHO (world health organization says TWO years!), and asking them, directly, WHY they think it's not a good idea.

My mom made a comment early on about my having to supplement w/formula when i said that i was worried about being able to feed them, and i very gently asked why she said so, and when she had become an expert on nursing twins.

I think that we're so afraid of being direct in this culture and calling people on their cr-p!

YOU know why you're choosing to bf, and if it happens to be more economical (oh, yeah, and convenient, and healthy for the babies' physically and emotionally), then try not to care what anyone else thinks. And know that you can save the $$ for college - or therapy later! Besides, formula is just another way for the pharma mega-industry to mess w/peoples'minds and bodies. Alternately, you can send her a diaper from your babies and one from a formula fed baby - let her do her own sniff test!

"

Hang in there, listen to your self, come here for support, and start to tell people directly and gently that you don't appreciate their negative comments.

 

you guys always make me feel so much better!! I just get so upset sometimes because all I want is what is best for these babies and I have been so blessed to be able to be home with these babies, something I wasn't able to do with the boys. I bf 90% of the time and use formula every now and then - like if I ever get to go someplace alone or w/ the boys and someone keeps the girls - it makes me feel guilty but I guess some "me" time is good for all of us!!! these girls have been so much healthier than the boys were at this age! by this time each of the boys had already had at least one ear infection - so I think my aunt and mil for that matter should see the benefits! but like you have said - they never bf any of their kids so they are quick to judge and don't know! It just caught me off guard that anyone would ever think or say that there was anything sexual about bf - these are my babies for goodness sake!!!!

 

Wow, those comments are pretty ridiculous! No offense to your aunt but those comments are ignorant. And like other pp offered, you can remind her that the AAP rec bf for at least a year!! Keep up the good work, you really are doing what is best for your babies!

 

This is her problem, not yours. Maybe she's jealous. Don't think for a second that you're not giving the very best to your babies-and your own body by bfing. People are absolutely ignorant and ridiculous sometimes. Don't let those comments get to you or persuade you to stop bfing.

 

Oh good Lord, Heather ... that is wacked out. I would be so hurt by that comment ... and you have to wonder the mindset of people who say things like that. They are little babies!!!!!!!

People who have never breastfed just don't get it. I had a similar thing with my mom this weekend, not about it being a sexual thing (Ick, it's so terrible to even type that!) but about why can't my honey just give them bottles more to help out ... I tried explaining supply/demand to her, she thought I could just pump some out for a bottle whenever I want so he can feed them and I can sleep ... she means well but people who haven't done it just don't have a clue. She also thought I should stop breastfeeding because I was sick. Eh, well.

Keep it up, Heather, I know you've gone through a lot to continue nursing them and you should be proud!