Stupid breastfeeding comments - anyone else?

It seems that everyone who finds out I'm carrying twins is interested in rather I'm going to breastfeed or not. I had supply issues with my DS and later found out it was because of my thyroid, so I'm way more encouraged about it now, and I'm totally planning to BF as long as possible.

So everyone (MIL included!) has to ask "you're really going to try to breastfeed twins?!?!" as if it's this totally impossible task. Ugh! Anyone else get comments like that? It's driving me nuts! (Right along with the "wow you're going to have your hands full" comments about having a 1 year old and twins on the way!)

 

It seems that everyone who finds out I'm carrying twins is interested in rather I'm going to breastfeed or not. I had supply issues with my DS and later found out it was because of my thyroid, so I'm way more encouraged about it now, and I'm totally planning to BF as long as possible.

So everyone (MIL included!) has to ask "you're really going to try to breastfeed twins?!?!" as if it's this totally impossible task. Ugh! Anyone else get comments like that? It's driving me nuts! (Right along with the "wow you're going to have your hands full" comments about having a 1 year old and twins on the way!)

 

I was surprised how many people asked me that. And I think it was even worse after they were born. To be honest, no one ever asked, "Did you take fertility drugs?" BUT they DID ask, "Are you breastfeeding?" It would always make me uncomfortable. I seriously did not want to get into discussions with complete strangers about latching issues, low milk supply, and simultaneous feedings.

 

I had no problem with people asking, it was the disbelieving and discouraging responses that really drove me nuts. Even my mom, who has twins (the only of her 5 kids that she breastfed) was incredibly discouraging and told me i couldn't do it!! I really got aggravated with it!

 

I've had people ask, but it doesn't bother me. I just see it as an opportunity to educate - to let them know that it is possible to successfully breastfeed twins. I breastfed my son until he was 2, so I think friends are interested to know if I plan to be as dedicated this time around.

My usual response: "Yep - two babies... two boobs... what could be more perfect?"

 

I'm so glad it's not just me! I HATE when people ask if I'm going to breastfeed! I don't even think it has anything to do with twins, I think the same amount of people would ask if I were pregnant with just one. It makes me uncomfortable when people ask. I'm not the type of chick who's going to breastfeed in public (I don't mind if I have to pump)... I guess I'm just private/shy/modest. So I get embarrassed when people ask me if I'm going to breastfeed. I wish people could learn to mind their own business, lol.

 

What bothers me about it isn't the actual asking, I really dont' mind that. Heck I don't mind the disbelieving asking either "You aren't going to breastfeed are you?"

It is the asking as if they are geninly (sp?) interested "Are you going to breastfeed?" and when you answer yes, they go "OMG HOW?" or something just as stupid.

That really annoys the me. Last time, I just said... "Well if you want to buy the formula for me since it is so offensive to you, then I won't breastfeed."

 

I try to let the stupid comments roll off me. I love the pp's response - two boobs, two babies!

I think it's part of the trend that people think they can ask anything; they also say stupid things like "i don't know how you're going to manage" or 'You'll certainly have your hands full" - yeah, DU-UH, as if DH and i hadn't realized that having TWO babies is more work than having one! But what do they suggest - we leave one at the hospital? Sell one? Give it away?

On the upside - if you can make it through a twin pregnancy, you're already aware of strength you probably didn't know you had!

I'd say try not to get too exorcised over this kind of silliness; people are a) nosy and b) not so smart, generally. And saying yes to breastfeeding IS educating people that it IS possible, so thnk of yourself as making a public service announcement!

 

While I was pregnant - I got that comment ALOT!!!! now that they are here - people(family included) just assume that I bottle feed -
when they find out that I breastfeed the stupid comments really begin
and very few people are supportive! my family even tells me how much easier it would be to just give them bottles all the time and when the
babies lost a little weight the first few days after birth it was automatically my fault! they blame everything - even Ava's immature
tear ducts on my breastfeeding!!!

 

I was amazed at how impressed or suprised or really how stupid some people were. After they were born people would say "shame you couldn't breastfeed". I was like why? Then they said "well how would you do it" I said "I have two boobs...where's the problem?" Then they would be like..."oh you can do that???". DUH!!

The person who made me feel the worst about it was my mil who I could tell didn't want me to do it and kept asking if she could give them a bottle just so she could get a chance to feed them. The first time she saw me bf both at the same time she laughed at me...yes...laughed. And she said " I am sorry Jennifer I just keep thinking of a cow when I see you do that". I really hated her after that comment..

But I hung in there and kept rolling my eyes when she said it and bf Kenna for a year and Mitchell decided he was done at 9 mos.

 

I am so glad that I am not the only one!! If I have to defend my choice to breastfeed MY children I am going to scream!!

Both my parents and the in-laws are unsupportive , but I think they come from the generation where formula was touted as being the 'modern, easy way'. Blech...

I just don't understand why strangers ask?? It's really none of their business.

 

Yeah, I got that a lot and I got the fertility question a lot which I don't like. Now though, it's "You aren't still nursing, are you?" (very disapproving tone) My mom was supportive of my BF until the time passed that she had bf my brothers (around 8 months). Now she's not. Two babies, two boobs! Great comeback! Just let the comments roll off... they're not the ones raising the babies, you are!

 

I guess I should clarify... I don't care that they ask if I'm bfing (though I would never ask a stranger that - just seems weird!), it's the way they ask... as in you're not possibly going to even attempt to breastfeed twins... that drives me nuts!

I love it - two boobs, two babies!

 

Some people need a serious biology lesson. If a mother could only make enough milk for one baby, we'd each have our own personal cow in the backyard for every member of the family.

I don't know how my inlaws or family feel about me breastfeeding. They don't comment...maybe more people should take that approach. The general feeling I get is "I wouldn't want to, but more power to ya." Friends our age seem to be the most immature about it...saying how they don't want their boobs to sag or saying that boobs are for sex, not bf...WHATEVER. I guess that is why God put milk ducts in them.

 

I know...those comments really could bother me too, but I have since learned that it is an opportunity to show how proud I am. I have people ask me now, DId you bf them both? I would proudly respond, yes! ANd even now, I am just wrapping up bf. We are down to a short 5 minutes before bed, and I still get questions, like , "you're not still bfing them are you?".........Just a tad before bed, and I think they are all the better for it!
You keep up your determination. It isn't the easiest thing, but you can do it!

 

I actually had a fantstic support system..at least in my family and close friends. My problem wasn't the everyday people disapproving it was the pediatrician. She told me I should not breastfeed the twins because they were born premature as it was and they would be malnourished...uh simply because they were twins! Ridiculous! I still to this day get so angry that I gave in to her pressure (even when I knew in my heart she was wrong). I was just so overwhelmed in those early days I didn't have my common sense.

 

I got asked that a lot too. Even after they were born people were like "WHAT? You can breastfeed two?!?!?" I guess people just assume it's too difficult or that it can't be done supply-wise.

Good luck to you and congrats on your twin pregnancy!

Lisa

 

Yeah, I got "You're going to BF TWINS???" I always said "umm..yeah, 2 babies, 2 boobies!"

 

I am totally going to start using that one!!

 

Well I'm not quite there yet but I did bf 3 kids each till 2 years of age. I am a surro for those of you who dont know me yet, and I will bf in the hospital and then pump and ship my milk for at least 12 weeks, the 12 weeks were decided on before we knew it is two, so that may be extended. But another surro I know gave birth to twins and pumped for them, they never had to supplement and she was able to donate the left over to a third baby who also never had to supplement. So 3 babies, 2 boobs can even be done.

 

It fries me that people are 1) so uneducated and 2) so willing to discourage someone! It's a common misconception that women are limited in their ability to make milk and many can't even make enough for one baby. There are DOCTORS who think this!

I've been breastfeeding for more than 16 months now with my 1:1 breast to baby ratio and it's going just fine. I was lucky in that everyone was very supportive in the beginning and very few are making remarks now about "still doing THAT" (not that they could change my mind now...)

FWIW, I thought I was going to be too uncomforable to nurse in public and then I had a reality check about how difficult it was to work around it so I got over my worries. To date, nobody has said anything negative about it. I've gotten smiles from old ladies and congratulations from other mommies.

 

I love this question when people ask. I BF my DD until she was 1yr and would love to BF my twins even if it is PT. However I also realize that sometimes it is harder to BF twins at first so I am just going to wait and see. "I will do whatever I can do" is the response I have been giving everyone.
I do have an evil side though and if I feel like people are being too nosy then I just start givng them way too much information. That usually makes them back off or shows if they are genuinely interested or not.

Alyson

 

Hi!!
I had the nurses in the hospital after I delivered my twins tell me "oh, you'll have to supplement." Can you beleive that??? Well, I really proved them wrong -- my boys are 8 months and I exclusively bf the first 6 months!!!!!

 

Even if I can't manage it full time like I want to, you have to remember any breast milk is great. There was nothing like when my son was not feeling well from teething or a fall (because he did NOT get sick while I bf) and I could scoop him up and make it better with all those "feel-goods" in the milk itself.

 

I agree, a lot of people of our parents' generation did not breastfeed (then again, one friend of my mom's told me that she was told to gain only 10 lbs - and only have FOUR glasses of water w/her singleton pg!!!!) As far as I'm concerned, BFing is as personal a decision as any, and nobody has the right to comment on it.

It just goes to show that we need to educate ourselves, create a support system (including partners and friends) and stick to our guns!


A number of friends and both my SIL's who have only had singletons have strongly suggested that I meet w/an L/C long before the babies, and possibly even have one or a doula for the first days at home; because even though BFing is PERFECTLY NATURAL (DUUUH!!!); it's not always easy, especially w/twins. There can be latching issues, positioning issues, milk doesn't come in fully for a while - and to have someone educated, credentialed and whom we trust can be really important in those first days when I imagine we'll be overwhelmed (I know I think i will!)

On a humorous note: my DH and i were apart last week - he was in Mexico on a family vacation (I couldn't leave the country), and his sister is still BFing her 18 month old. DH was horrified that she was stuck on a 3 hour schedule (she's a SAHM), and said to me on the phone "we're not going to do that, right?"

I replied, all sweetness: "hmmm, i wasn't aware that you were going to breastfeed at all!"

"but we're NOT doing that!"

"Honey, I don't think we need to talk about when we're weaning the babies; right now we need to focus on getting through this pregnancy."

He was not happy w/that reply! He COMPLETELY supports BFing; i think it was the thought that at 18 mos I'd still be on that kind of schedule (and unable to work outside the house!) I couldn't help being a little cruel - i mean, who's carrying these babies, anyway?! heh heh

 

Thank God for you girls! I have already heard it all and I'm not even due till June! Not only are we having twins, but I had a "boob job" last March. Everyone thinks it's imposible. DH and my OB are really the only supportive ones. Lucky for me, my OB is also my best friend. I've already got her Medela pump in my closet. As for the so-called complications, they're not. My plastic surgeon said that due to my armpit insicion, implants are under the muscle, my implants will not make a difference in bf... Other than I will never get saggy boobs Not that it would even matter in my decision.

 

I even got that from the nurses because my girls were in the NICU. I got a blood infection and had to go on medication that made my breast milk unsafe. I pumped and dumped for 10 days to ensure I would still have a good supply. Still...once they could nurse, and once the medication cleared my system we were very successful and I nursed them exclusively for 6 months. So there...naysayers!

 

Yeah, I got asked a few times while pregnant and still get questions or comments ... you'll find that people who never breastfed will say the most negative things and you just need to ignore them. My own mom would make comments to just give them formula, etc. People will say, Wouldn't formula be easier??? and things like that.

What-eva. Just nod and smile and walk off.

 

funny listening to everyones comments.. I like the one where mil said "i'm sorry I look at you and think of a cow" That is something my mil would say and I would feel they same way hated her after that comment.
People asked me more if I did fertilitly which I think is very private. its none of their business. I didn't but still. I tell them about BF I am going to try and see how it goes for all of us. I still get those same looks like I am insane. People/family are just rude sometimes about how you do everything when it comes to kids.
I enjoyed reading the comments knowing you are not alone with these people who do not know what to say when carrying twins.
I was sick of hearing you are going to have your hands full adn you will are going to have it tough for 1year.. I finally said I am tired of hearing negativity.. I already know this but if people make is sound harder then it will be even harder if you listen to them. I just would say we will be fine. enough of bad energy. especially in-laws!