Stubborn 5 Yr Old Daughter

Hi 'm Tanya, new to twinstore and with a rather difficult topic!
I have six girls, Rosie, 12, Abbi, 10, Libby, 5, JoJo, 3, Boo, 2 and Maura, 4 months.

Libby is my main issue, she is 5 and has just started school.
She refuses to poop until she is desperate and will sit and hold it in for hours, she therefore has regular accidents and often diarrhoea. I am at the end of my tethers with her, she is a hard child. My older two are easy and even my younger ones are more 'angelic'.
She is still in disposable diapers and the school has had enough too. I feel like a bad parent although I've tried everyting from the reward system to spanking. Her dad is very strict and will sometimes send her to bed really early. We have tried to be positive with her but she is so stubborn.
Anyway she can pee on the toilet but will not entertain poop.
Also, her accidents are strange. Like I said, she often has diarrhoea, which is often chronic and very smelly. On Christmas Eve we went to see a movie but it ended quickly. I had asked her if she needed the toilet before she went in but she said she didnt need it. 15 miuntes into the movie, she began to have very smelly wind and I was getting worried...then there was a terrible noise and she smelt really bad, i picked her up and went to the toilet with her kicking and screaming, but she was in denial and wouldnt let me change her, then ran out the cublicle and hid near the drinks machine, I eventually found her in a horrible mess and took her home. She is a devil and ruining our family, I hate to say, could it be medical too though? I'm confused.
Help please?
Thanks.

 

The fact that the smell is so very strong sounds odd. I would ask your ped.

My bf from high school said she was like this. She eventually had to see a therapist so she could get to a point where she would poop normally. She just didn't want to, for some reason, and would hold it in until it came out without her being able to control it.

 

That sounds very frustrating. Hang in there! With what you explain and your daughter's age, I think I would start by calling your ped and setting up an appointment. I read somewhere that you should seek medical advice when a 4 year old or older is unsuccessful with potty training after 6 months. I'm assuming that you've probably been at it that long.

A pediatrician (or family doctor) can help rule out any possible medical causes and give further advice on ways and remedies to keep her bowels regular. They may even suggest seeing a ped GI (gastroenterologist) doctor if need be. I've had a couple friends that had to take their sons to ped GI docs with #2 issues. They were told it was very common. In both cases, things quickly worked out. Good luck!

 

QUOTE(Tanyabooboos @ Dec 26 2007, 10:46 PM) [snapback]546854[/snapback]
She is a devil and ruining our family...


Wow. Kinda harsh. Seriously?

 

QUOTE(hanknbeans @ Jan 3 2008, 08:45 PM) [snapback]556589[/snapback]
Wow. Kinda harsh. Seriously?


Do you have any suggestions to help her?

I would absolutely start with the doctor......it is quite possible that what is happening is not entirely in her control. Chances are she doesn't want to be having accidents and they aren't pleasurable for her either.

One of the biggest things I drilled into my head when K&K were training was if they did have an accident not to get angry and not to punish them. I especially would not go the spanking route for something that she may not be able to control. Please take her to a doctor and like Debbi said, maybe even a specialist to rule out any physical issues.

 

I don't know, maybe irritable bowel. Maybe it hurts to poo and that's why she doesn't want to do it? I would definitely seek medical attention rather than assume that it's behavioral.

Best wishes on dealing with a clearly difficult situation.

 

I would try googling Encopresis.. I think I spelled it right. Sounds exactly like what your dd has...

 

one of my friends' daughters was like this and what the doctor told her that the diarrhea was because the harder poop would back up farther into the colon and the water would be drawn out and cause what was closer to the exit to be watery...

I'm sorry I have no suggestions - I know they took her to the Pedi GI and they ruled everything out before proclaiming it behavioral and it eventually worked itself out...