Stressed out at a party...

So the babes are now 16 months old and all over the place. Unless they're in a pool, in a high chair, or in a play room, my husband and I are pretty much chasing them around a home that's not kid-friendly most weekends. So when your kids become tired & cranky, or you're tired & cranky from 6 hours of chasing them around, how do you deal with it? How do you not get stressed out? People sometimes try to help us out but the kids aren't great with "strangers" (family we see once per month). Should I just let them cry and walk away to enjoy a cocktail? I never manage to do it because I can't stand to hear them cry. But I think my husband's family thinks I'm a nut for not letting them cry. Just wondering how you all deal with it?
Thanks!

 

I rarely go to events with the kids because I know if I have them I will be totally consumed with watching them. The few times I have taken them to something I make sure I stay on their routine, if something doesn't fit into their schedule then I don't go. I do find that when I take them to a party or something that I only half listen to a conversatin I am having with someone because I always have one eye and ear on them. People probably think I am either really rude or a freak because I will just leave in the middle of the conversation if I see the girls doing something...

I guess I just don't like to make things harder on myself then they have to be...I already have enough stuff to be stressed about.

 

Pretty much ditto what kstar said. I can't see being at a non-kid friendly home for 6 hrs. I would fit the visit in around their naps, maybe stay for 2-3 hrs max, depending on how they are doing. I have just up and left things because they are cranky. No one wants to be around cranky toddlers. I find people do the "we want to see the babies" and then spend about 5 minutes with them, and I spend the rest of the time trying to keep them happy and not breaking things.

 

SIX HOURS? Oh h*ll no! The way I would avoid getting tired and cranky over it is that I would stay home, or leave after only 2 hours, LOL. Even now, if we're at a non-babyproofed house, my husband and I spend the entire time chasing after the girls. Pretty much, I just figure we won't really get to do a lot of those types of things until the girls are at least 3-4. I think it's different when there's just one baby, and you and your husband can spell each other, but when you're both chasing babies, it's really exhausting and not worth it excep for brief appearances.

 

I used to take my port-a-cots everywhere I went and the girls had no trouble sleeping at all. I didn't have to worry about them at parties as there was always a queue of people wanting to have a cuddle or lots of other cousins to play with.

 

We just attended a graduation party this past weekend for my Dh borther. The boys have only seen a hand ful of people at this party a handful of time. The rest of the party was people I dont know and never met.

The only think kid related they had there was a moon bounce and one of the boys was scared to death of it. Dh was talking to his family and some old friends that were there which left me chasing 2 toddlers all over a HUGE back yard. DH sisters tried to help a bit but b/c the boys see them less then once every few months they are total strangers and would cry.

We were only able to stay at this party for 3 hrs but let me tell you the time did fly b/c of all the chasing i did. and I had a cocktail on the other hand for 1/2 of the time.

Good Luck!

 

We often comment that going to parties with our boys is basically just taking care of them in a different environment. We rarely get to talk to anyone, we are often sitting by ourselves during the meal (never enough room for TWO toddlers at the table) and ending conversations 1/2 way through to chase someone down. We go to basically "chalk it up" that we were there and don't feel guilty, but we are ready to leave pretty quickly!!!!

 

I would either stay home and my dh goes by himself, we would all go but just for a short time, or leave early. We usually only go to close family functions and a lot of the time we get there a little early so the kids can get a feel for the place but we are also the first ones to leave (we get a lot of complaints on why are we leaving so early) but it's best for our own sanity especially mine since I am the one who has to deal with the children the next day. If the party is during their nap time we don't go or show up late, it's very important for them to have a nap.

 

QUOTE(Becky02 @ Jun 19 2007, 01:46 AM) [snapback]297753[/snapback]
I would either stay home and my dh goes by himself, we would all go but just for a short time, or leave early. We usually only go to close family functions and a lot of the time we get there a little early so the kids can get a feel for the place but we are also the first ones to leave (we get a lot of complaints on why are we leaving so early) but it's best for our own sanity especially mine since I am the one who has to deal with the children the next day. If the party is during their nap time we don't go or show up late, it's very important for them to have a nap.



I agree with everything she said!

There's no way we'd be going to parties every weekend- family or not! And if we go, it would not be all day unless it was a really special occasion. It is so stressful at that age that we never enjoyed ourselves if we had to stay more than 2-3 hours max and especially if it wasn't a kid friendly place.

 

yep i agree.

it's not worth going.

if you really have to, or really want to, then having a quick drink and a quick bite and a quick chat is all i expect to get done. It's always a relief to leave, which sounds awful.

i guess it depends for whose benefit you are going. if you need the sanity to see friends, then i would go without the kids. But if its for the hosts benefit, i would do a quick dash.

 

We just went through this on Saturday. My neices were having a birthday party 4 hours away. We packed everything for an overnight trip and headed to the party. Within an hour of being there I was EXHAUSTED! Needless to say, we stayed for the party and visited with husband's family...and then freaked everyone out when we decided to load up the kiddos and head home at 9:00. There was no way the babies were going to sleep with all of the commotion in that house. Anyway, I don't have any suggestions! Just wanted to let you know that I feel your pain. LOL!

 

When the girls were that age we only made an "appearance" & then left. I don't mess with our schedule for anything! If they got/get cranky, we leave.

 

No real advice here. I just wanted you to know you are not alone. I only will go to a party for a short time 1-2 hours tops. I hate going to parties now. We went to a BBQ at my sister and her house is definately not kid friendly (fire pit). I feel like I didn't get to talk to anyone and i was following all three around like a crazy woman. We are having a big party at our house this weekend. Hopefully that will be better on our turf.

Cari

 

Right now, we are avoiding all possible events Just kidding, actually I took all four by myself to my sister's grad party. It was H#LL for me, but I did it. 6 hours is a bit much. I just try to plan around naps as much as possible and when they start getting cranky or out of hand, I pack up and go home. I have another grad party to go to on Sunday,so we'll see how that one goes. It's hard for me when they are in a non-babyproofed environment.

Crystal