Stranger danger, home safety, etc...

The kids are now 3, 4, and 4. They are definitely more independent and I am starting to become a bit more relaxed on some things. We live on a very quiet street, cul de sac, no traffic, etc. Unless you live here, you don't know the street exists!

So just reading the paper and there was a house(on a main road!!), right down street from us, that was broken into at 10 am with a 14 year old at home at the time. So, that now has me thinking... I need to talk to kids about home safety, strangers in public, etc. We have a large yard and I trust them to stay in it(no fence), if I run inside to do something quickly, etc.

I just need to teach them the basics of strangers outside, strangers in public places, not answering doors, etc. So to all you seasoned parents, how did you go about talking about it? I know once I talk about it, they will fixate on it, and one of them will be to the point of worrying/fear.

TIA!

 

Honestly, I don't know yet. My boys are old enough to have the stranger danger talk, but we just haven't gotten around to it. They don't really listen to anything we say yet (well, not ANYTHING, but not a lot), so I think I'm just waiting for a good moment when they feel like talking and listening.

I think it would just be a matter of making it interesting for them. You don't want to scare them, but maybe putting on a little play or acting it out/role playing for them and with them would get them thinking and help them remember what you are saying. Just talking to them may bore them, and they aren't going to listen if it's not interesting. DH is good at making things interesting for them. I will have to get him involved for sure! Either way, be upfront and to the point about it. Kids understand a lot, so just know that your words alone will go far with them.

 

I'm not sure either. So far my kids are really shy and nervous around strangers so I guess it hasn't occurred to me to have the talk yet... I'm quite sure they've mentioned it at school though.

 

My boys (and Addison for that matter) are very "friendly" to others. They will answer people they don't know if asked questions or say hi, etc. I have been responding with telling them we only talk/say hit to family members or people we know. We don't talk to strangers and that they should tell mommy or daddy if someone is trying to talk with them. Especially since we live two doors down from a registered sex offender. Ew. I don't want to instll the fear of God in my children of other people but it's just so scary these days. They seem to be more cautious of people that talk to them and kind of look at me for some sort of approval or such.

So I feel like those little instances have been a good segway for other conversations about how we don't talk to strangers and such. We haven't really gotten into the why part yet but have mentioned that some strangers can be dangerous and they'll repeat that back to me. We're just going to keep it an open topic and hopefully it will sink in!

 

I was worried about them being scared of everyone if I brought it up, but I still think it's better for them to be informed. I've told them that they should never ever go to anyone they don't know. That there are some bad people out there who may try to trick them into going with them - that people might tell them to go with them because they found a cute puppy, or they have candy, or something really fun, or that their mommy said it was ok. I told them they must always run away and find an adult they know and tell them what happened. I've quizzed them about it by giving examples of what someone might say and then asking them what they should do. I feel kind of clueless in this area too, but I feel like it's my duty to prepare them because I'd never forgive myself if something happened and we had never even discussed it. I've also been trying to teach them a little about calling 911. We don't even keep the phone in reach and they don't know how to work it at all, so I'm trying to ease into that one too.

There might be some children's books geared toward this subject. I know the Berenstein Bears have a Stranger Danger Book.

 

There are some books out there. I haven't done much yet but they are both very introverted and I don't let them do much unsupervised. Not at this age. As far as sex offenders. The vast majority of sex offenses against children are not from strangers. They occur by trusted adults. Its the people who are not registered and who are family/friends that are more of a concern. I know it sounds horrible. Its the coach or teacher or other adult who takes a special interest in a child. Who asks if they can do special practices or take them to do somehting special. Its the adult who introduces themselves to the child so they are not a "stranger".

I heard read an article about this lady who gives seminars and really liked her advice.

http://safelyeverafter.com/tips.html

My other issue I have is so many many adults who strike up conversatios and want kids to answer. Especially the whole twin thing that seems to attract everyone. I do not speak to other peoples kids unless they really need help (lost). I never expect my kids to respond to other adults. I do not require them to be polite to people they do not know.

 

I tell the the kids to only let Mommy and Daddy answer the door and even I don't answer the door unless I am expecting a package or guests. At this age, I don't really go into it other then to be safe.
We live in the city, very close to two very busy streets, so the kids know to stay on the sidewalk and stay where we can see them. They also know the people they can ride with in the car.
Their school has gone over safety with them as well.

 

Here is a great article I read the other day about this.. It has some very good points.

 

i started "stranger danger" talks when they were 2 1/2 (they were very basic obviously). i'm paranoid about something happening to them! they don't talk to adults they don't know unless they see me talking to them, then they'll answer basic questions but that's it. (they are super friendly with all kids). they go running in the other direction if someone is at the door and stay hidden if i answer it (which i rarely do if i'm not expecting someone).
they know to scream and bite if someone grabs them, they know no one is supposed to touch their bodies, and if someone does, they should scream. they also know that they should tell me EVERYTHING. ALWAYS. NO MATTER WHAT.
we are currently living at my parent's house till we move to NJ, adn they have no fence, so anyone can walk up. i NEVER leave them alone. and they know to run up to the deck if there is danger (loose dog... loose dogs is kind of an issue here... weird stranger roaming around... hasn't happened yet lol)...
i know it all sounds weird nad paranoid, but my girls don't have a crazy fear of anyone or anything, but they're pretty street smart (as far as 4 year olds go) and aware of their surroundings... i don't think i've "overdone" it.