Stranger anxiety?

I was wondering if anyone else has twins or a twin going through stranger anxiety? I'm assuming what one of my daughters has is this. She is perfectly fine at home, smiling, laughing, fun, then as soon as we go to someone's house for a visit, she starts SCREAMING at the top of her lungs. I feel so bad because we go to my grandmother's house once a week for dinner, and it's usually just my g-mom, parents, DH, the girls and me. When someone tries to hold her or even talk to her when Im holding her, the crying begins! I really wish everyone could get to know the lovable little girl we know at home. Instead, they end up playing with Allyson, her twin sister, who is happy as can be to be held by anyone. I feel like Ally is already everyone's "favorite" at just 5 months old. I guess I just wanted to know if anyone else is going through this? Do you have any suggestions, ideas, words of encouragement? We don't even like to go out anymore because we can't enjoy ourselves with a screaming baby.

 

It really is just something that she will need to outgrow. At 15 months I still have one that is like that. Fine at home, but take him out around a stranger and Mom or Dad has to be with him most of the time.

 

My singleton daughter had this. It started around 4 or 5 months...very similar to your daughter. She wouldn't let anyone get near her...even her poor grandparents couldn't hold her w/out her screaming. It was extremely frustrating and any time we went somewhere I felt my anxiety level go through the roof! I was always worried and thinking "when will Chloe freak out and scream?!" This went on for a few months and gradually she outgrew it. She is still a bit reticent and cautious, but no more screaming! Hang in there. Continue to expose her and eventually it will work itself out.

 

My twins started showing stranger anxiety around that age too when people got too close to the stroller, or when Early Intervention would come.

What worked really well (in the case of EI) was for the EI rep to keep her distance and talk quietly and not make any sudden moves, and let the babies stay really close to me. Gradually during the visit, as the babies got more comfortable, she'd edge a little closer and engage them a little more, in a really low-key way. And by the end of the hour, they'd be smiling and playing with her and letting her hold them.

So try to tell people not to come on too strong. If they treat your the shy baby like a feral cat, it will probably work well!

 

We have the opposite problem, my DD is fine when we go out, but when people come over it's a screaming, crazy time for a while until she warms up and lets go of our neck from squeezing so tight.

Can't stand it b/c she is such a fun loving little love when it's just us at home.

I fear people will not want to come over if she keeps this up.

 

I think most babies go through this to some extent. I Agree to let t hem warm up slowly this helps with most babies of people they see occasionally. Have them offer toys while she sits on your lap. tell them suggestions of waht you want to try so she will be more friendly.

I also don't like that people don't see the happy babies mine are at home when we go out.

 

Thanks for the feedback! I'm glad to know we're not alone. She also cries when people come over, but I can usually put her in her Jumperoo or Exersaucer so she doesn't have to think about the "scary" visitor. I really feel bad for my parents because all they want to do is hold and love her, but she won't have it. I hope it changes soon.

 

We went through this same thing with Emma, and Lauren was the star of the show. At around a year roles reversed and now Lauren is my cling-on and Emma is the ham.

I was the mom who didn't let people hold my child if they were upset. I just couldn't take it! I got tons of "well they have to get used to it sometime" from people but still, I held onto them for dear life.

 

We are having the same problem with our DD! We are hoping it's just a phase that she'll grow out of!

 

My Annalise started this one week before turning four months. My mom said I was the same way from 4-6 months old. I've heard it's a phase.

 

QUOTE(meliz812 @ Mar 16 2008, 11:36 PM) [snapback]671790[/snapback]
She also cries when people come over, but I can usually put her in her Jumperoo or Exersaucer so she doesn't have to think about the "scary" visitor. I really feel bad for my parents because all they want to do is hold and love her, but she won't have it. I hope it changes soon.


You might try holding her instead of sticking her in the devices? It will make her feel a lot safer a lot faster. We have a babysitter who comes a couple of days a week, and once the boys warmed up to her - very slowly - they've been fine. So maybe your parents can take it easy for a visit or two and know that things will get better slowly.