Stopping hiting/biting

SO, we have a real problem with my kids hitting people. It's almost like a greeting for them. They are constantly hitting each other (and Matt bites) and greet grandparents with hits, etc. I need to nip this is the bud. I'm not sure if they will developmentally understand the concepts of timeouts. I have read it really isn't until they are around 2 they can understand the concept of consequences and my guys are a bit immature com0pared to their peers. my sister says just stick them in a pack n play for timeouts but then I'm afraid they'll develop some fear of the pack n p lay and they sleep in them at day care and grandparents, etc. Any advice? This has been going on since the summer and people have just been saying "it's a phase". Well, it sure has been a long phase!

 

SO, we have a real problem with my kids hitting people. It's almost like a greeting for them. They are constantly hitting each other (and Matt bites) and greet grandparents with hits, etc. I need to nip this is the bud. I'm not sure if they will developmentally understand the concepts of timeouts. I have read it really isn't until they are around 2 they can understand the concept of consequences and my guys are a bit immature com0pared to their peers. my sister says just stick them in a pack n play for timeouts but then I'm afraid they'll develop some fear of the pack n p lay and they sleep in them at day care and grandparents, etc. Any advice? This has been going on since the summer and people have just been saying "it's a phase". Well, it sure has been a long phase!

 

I don't have any advice but wanted to bump this up in hopes you get more answers. My girls just now started smacking me- I think they do it to tease but of course, ultimately, I am afraid it is going to result in that later on. ???

 

very stern look in addition to time out works for all three of my kids..

i feel that they know when mommy is playing and when shes being serious. i say look at my nose.. until i get their attention for any matter.. i continue to say look at my nose..

when were eye to eye .. they know what they are doing is unexceptable.. and i continue to explain why its not exceptable..

all i ahve to do is tell my 2 year old do you want mommy to bite you..
he knows he doesnt want to hurt so i ask him why does he want ot hurt the people he should love most.. his brother and sister..

it only takes once.. of getting their attiion and threating time out..

i watch others - grandparents say dont do that from accross the room.. it doesnt work..!

 

I have problems with hitting when Bea doesn't get what she wants and both of them pulling at my glasses and hair. I say a stern No first. If that doesn't work, then I set them down, say "no hitting (or pulling mommy's hair/glasses)" and ignore for a minute. It has the same principle as Time Out, no positive attention for a period of time. I have started Time Outs with Bea when she does something really serious, like hitting or knocking down Ainsley, throwing things, or if the above did not work. Ainsley just doesn't do stuff like that so I haven't had to do it with her. I do Time Out in the PNP and it hasn't affected naps. She only gets one maybe every couple weeks.

 

i was just reading this somewhere, because my 4 year old was hitting at school.

i read that for kids under 2 (or roughly) you say "no bite/hit" sternly and then put them down and walk away from them for 2-3 minutes ignoring them. the idea is that when the treat someone badly the other person leaves, and what fun is it if someone leaves. i think most of the time hitting and biting at this age is for the reaction they get.

 

quote:
I read that for kids under 2 (or roughly) you say "no bite/hit" sternly and then put them down and walk away from them for 2-3 minutes ignoring them. the idea is that when the treat someone badly the other person leaves, and what fun is it if someone leaves.

That is exactly what I was going to suggest.

When they are hitting each other do they get upset? Or do they think it is a fun game? If one or the other is getting hurt/crying then you could again say a firm "no hitting" to the offender and then ignore them while making a show of comforting their brother.

 

my kids are just starting to do the same. They clearly think they are doing something nice as they have a big smile on their face.

 

Usually, the other one gets hurt (not all the time) and it's usually poor Will. I've been making a big show about comforting Will and I put Matt in the corner. Today, he sat himself down twice after I told him "no hitting" so I think he's beginning to understand some consequence, it just doesn't hit home all the time, like it's no big deal. I appreciate the thoughts, everyone. I'm desperate.

 

do it back to them, if they hit/bite you, you hit/bite them back.

they will soon learn it isnt very nice.