Sticky Situation

I've been having mixed feelings towards my doc since the very beginning of my pregnancy. Although Everyone at the hospital just Loves her and thinks she's the most wonderful person on the earth. So anyway I have a little venting to do and if anyone has any good advice for me, please DO share.

I'm currently 37 wks 2 days pregnant with my first pregnancy. It was unplanned and my boyfriend and I live quite a distance from family/relatives/friends [between 45 mins [closest] & 4 hrs [next closest relatives]].

At my 34.5 wk visit with the doc, she told me I would be "taking the girls' home within the week." I then relayed the message to the family and both mom's decided to plan their two week vacation around that time to be able to help with the new arrivals.

Then when I went in for my 35.5 wk visit, she told me "possibly this weekend, but very soon". At that point I asked her when's the earliest I could convince her to induce me and she told me "37+ wks". During last week's visit [36.5 wk] she told me "any day now" and to go ahead and schedule an induction date after I'm 38 wks!!

Maybe it was a combination of things [doc's changing opinions, my physical pains/discomforts, and my hormones], but somehow I found myself [for about 4 days] crying. I'm not a very emotional person and it bothered me that I wasn't able to control these tears streaming out of my eyes out of frustration..

So now I'm here - with a 7/7/08 scheduled induction date. Both mom's used up all of their vacation time due to trusting the doctors opinioin. [Granted I know that it's best for the babies to stay inside for as long as possible and I was prepared for that. It's just that when the doctor says something, I try to trust their professional opinion and prepare as best as I can.]

The boyfriend won't be able to take time off from work [we're trying to run on a one income household] and I'll be stuck at home by myself with these two little babies that I know nothing of how to care for [besides reading books and emails]. I do, however, have a couple friends that are willing to come down and help me out a little here and there. I'm just worried that I won't be able to care for these little angels [or devils - who knows ] on my own.

Do you think I'm just being paranoid for no big reason? I think I just need someone to slap me and tell me that everything's gonig to be 'okay'. Sorry this is long. Thanks so much for letting me vent.

 

I certainly don't think you are being paranoid as it is very difficult caring for two newborns. Any family and friends that you can have around when they first arrive home is great. Take any help that people are willing to offer.

Was there a medical reason that your doctor kept telling you that you would deliver earlier? :huh: I would be a little upset that if she assured you that your babies would be here and they didn't come, but all in all it is actually better that the babies made it full term.

Sorry that all of this happened and hope everything goes well.

 

ohhhhhh, I am so sorry you are feeling so bad....I know right where you are at. The last couple weeks are the WORST & yours has dragged on forever since the doctor kept telling you different dates.
YOU ARE GOING TO BE JUST FINE!! It is SO amazing that you will know what to do for your babies once they are here. I felt the same way and didnt know anything about babies, but once they were here I just 'did it' and shocked myself that I could do it.
I wish that your mom & your BF's mom could still come be with you once the girls are born....Is there any way that they could each take a sick day or two (on different days) so that you have someone there with you for a couple days at least??
I would love to come down for a day or two but I would have to bring the girls with me & that might be more stressful/chaotic for you...but I am totally willing if you need me!!
I will email you in just a little bit on regular email k!?
Hang in there, you are doing great

 

QUOTE(idtwinstx @ Jun 30 2008, 10:33 AM) [snapback]853007[/snapback]
I certainly don't think you are being paranoid as it is very difficult caring for two newborns. Any family and friends that you can have around when they first arrive home is great. Take any help that people are willing to offer.

Was there a medical reason that your doctor kept telling you that you would deliver earlier? :huh: I would be a little upset that if she assured you that your babies would be here and they didn't come, but all in all it is actually better that the babies made it full term.

Sorry that all of this happened and hope everything goes well.


Everything has gone quite smoothly so far. No medical reasons as to why we would think they'd come earlier. Although I am looking pretty huge, lol.

 

QUOTE(tamaras @ Jun 30 2008, 10:33 AM) [snapback]853008[/snapback]
ohhhhhh, I am so sorry you are feeling so bad....I know right where you are at. The last couple weeks are the WORST & yours has dragged on forever since the doctor kept telling you different dates.
YOU ARE GOING TO BE JUST FINE!! It is SO amazing that you will know what to do for your babies once they are here. I felt the same way and didnt know anything about babies, but once they were here I just 'did it' and shocked myself that I could do it.
I wish that your mom & your BF's mom could still come be with you once the girls are born....Is there any way that they could each take a sick day or two (on different days) so that you have someone there with you for a couple days at least??
I would love to come down for a day or two but I would have to bring the girls with me & that might be more stressful/chaotic for you...but I am totally willing if you need me!!
I will email you in just a little bit on regular email k!?
Hang in there, you are doing great


I've been feeling a little better for the past few days. Been trying to 'really' take it easy and not stress my body [or mind] out. Just been having frequent head aches and my legs are swollen [so sexay! haha] and I've noticed myself getting more and more hungry. These girls are growing so much! ^_^

I guess I'll just have to be patient and positive and just see how things pan out.

 

Hi Suzy. Do you think by saying 'They will be home within a week', she meant that if they were delivered then (34.5 weeks), they would probably need less than a week in the hospital before they could be brought home? I just think it's very strange that she would make such a strong prediction with no signs that your body was ready to deliver. If I were you I'd probably ask her about it. Yes it's done with and by next Monday you will be thinking about other things, but it is still strange.

Now.. I did have a similar situation..kind of. I had some contractions at around 34 weeks and was in the hospital overnight while they were monitoring me and giving me steroid shots. I went home and was pretty sure I'd deliver soon. Fast forward to 38 weeks and my doc kept saying, we'll talk about induction next time. 3 appts later, I was in my 40th week and she was still saying 'next tme' though earlier she said she doesn't allow twins to go past 40 weeks. I had a breakdown and they agreed to a more detailed ultrasound the next day in which they agreed that baby a's fluid looked a little low, so I should be induced. They were born on 39w3d, but according to my doctors information (going based on my LMP), they were born on their 40 week due date.

Regarding help, you could really use some the first few days, so if you can take your friend up on the offer do it!! If your mom can be there do it! And if all else fails, take each hour at a time, and if you are so overwhelmed you don't know what to do, gently place both babies in their crib (even if they are crying) and take a break -some air, a shower, whatever you need to calm down. Some people take to it naturally (not me!) other people need some tme to adjust, you won't know your situation until you are there.. BUT it will all work out, and be worth it in the end.


Stacy

 

Hi Suzy!

I do relate, as I discovered a Nurse/OB communication error regarding my amnio process recently and - like you after putting my trust in the medical profession - I just took it so personally and cried and felt so frustrated when usually I'm a very easy going, go with the flow kind of gal. Obviously this is not as big as your situation, but I do know that if that had happened to me I would have felt exactly the same as you, especially as my mother's coming from England!

As these are my first babies I don't have advice as such, but hope you feel lots better after a vent (always works for me!) and just wanted to say I feel so sure all the other mommies are right in saying you'll be fine and will know JUST what to do - it's the ancient art of mothering after all; we're born with it! Hopefully you're relatives can get a sick day or two for you.
:hug99:

Molly

 

Wow.. you carried them for 40 weeks?! That's so amazing :bow2: How much did they weigh when they were born?

People look at me and feel bad for me. I'm still skinny everywhere [besides the swelling of my feet and calves gradually over the past few weeks]. I've gained about 70 lbs and it's almost All in my tummy. Maybe the doc was just trying to make me 'feel' better, I'm not sure. I just remember her saying "[chuckle] Welp, you'll be taking your babies home within the week" I'm not exactly sure what she meant by that. [sigh] I think I'm over it at this point.. I am just having a difficult time figuring out how I'm going to cope with these little ones. I guess all I can do is to be patient and do my best.

I should just keep thinking positively. I mean, at least I have someone who is willing to help me cope - even if it is just for a few days. Every little bit will help.

Thanks!


QUOTE(stacyann_1 @ Jun 30 2008, 12:05 PM) [snapback]853161[/snapback]
Hi Suzy. Do you think by saying 'They will be home within a week', she meant that if they were delivered then (34.5 weeks), they would probably need less than a week in the hospital before they could be brought home? I just think it's very strange that she would make such a strong prediction with no signs that your body was ready to deliver. If I were you I'd probably ask her about it. Yes it's done with and by next Monday you will be thinking about other things, but it is still strange.

Now.. I did have a similar situation..kind of. I had some contractions at around 34 weeks and was in the hospital overnight while they were monitoring me and giving me steroid shots. I went home and was pretty sure I'd deliver soon. Fast forward to 38 weeks and my doc kept saying, we'll talk about induction next time. 3 appts later, I was in my 40th week and she was still saying 'next tme' though earlier she said she doesn't allow twins to go past 40 weeks. I had a breakdown and they agreed to a more detailed ultrasound the next day in which they agreed that baby a's fluid looked a little low, so I should be induced. They were born on 39w3d, but according to my doctors information (going based on my LMP), they were born on their 40 week due date.

Regarding help, you could really use some the first few days, so if you can take your friend up on the offer do it!! If your mom can be there do it! And if all else fails, take each hour at a time, and if you are so overwhelmed you don't know what to do, gently place both babies in their crib (even if they are crying) and take a break -some air, a shower, whatever you need to calm down. Some people take to it naturally (not me!) other people need some tme to adjust, you won't know your situation until you are there.. BUT it will all work out, and be worth it in the end.


Stacy

 

:hug99: :hug99: You are so near the end and all those hormones are really surging along with nerves about the whole ordeal! You will make it through just fine, because that's what you need to do. That's what all these great ladies here at TS are for, all that emotional support through the tough moments, the encouragement when you need it, and to rejoice with you in all your successes!

It is hard not to take a doctor's words as the complete and whole truth, but in reality, they can't predict things, either. It's still rather frustrating, though, isn't it? I can't wait until you get to meet your girls and realize that you will be just fine dealing with them!

 

:hug99: I think the paranoia and nervousness is 100% normal! :hug99: I remember feeling so much anxiety about the babies coming. :unsure: We {as moms} tend to always think the worst will happen. I think you are going to do a terrific job lady. I hope your mom and your BF's mom can manage to take a day or two off to help you out, if not, YOU WILL BE FINE. :hug99:
As for your doctor telling you that you'll deliver within the week, etc. I don't really understand how she would know, unless it was a scheduled c/s or you had some kind of sign {dialated, etc.} I'm sorry she did that to you. My doctor took me out of work at 32 weeks {eventhough I was fine, just really tired} and said I wouldn't go past 36 weeks... and I proved them all wrong, so they don't know everything.

 

QUOTE(Suzy! @ Jun 30 2008, 05:20 PM) [snapback]853196[/snapback]
Wow.. you carried them for 40 weeks?! That's so amazing :bow2: How much did they weigh when they were born?

People look at me and feel bad for me. I'm still skinny everywhere [besides the swelling of my feet and calves gradually over the past few weeks]. I've gained about 70 lbs and it's almost All in my tummy. Maybe the doc was just trying to make me 'feel' better, I'm not sure. I just remember her saying "[chuckle] Welp, you'll be taking your babies home within the week" I'm not exactly sure what she meant by that. [sigh] I think I'm over it at this point.. I am just having a difficult time figuring out how I'm going to cope with these little ones. I guess all I can do is to be patient and do my best.

I should just keep thinking positively. I mean, at least I have someone who is willing to help me cope - even if it is just for a few days. Every little bit will help.

Thanks!



Mine were 6,12 and 6,14.. I was proud, but since then I know so many people that had babies in the 7 and 8lb range! Just another week max, you are almost there. Tell your friend to pack her bags and wait for your call. See if your partner can take 1 or 2 days off, and just breathe. It's so hard at the end, and the first few weeks will be a blur, but each week will get better, and each year will be better than the previous, and it will all work out.

 

Hang in there! I am having similar frustration with my doctor right now, too...at 34 weeks, she didn't think I would make it to my 36 week appointment. So, mentally, I have been prepared to meet the babies for two weeks. These last few weeks have been kicking my butt...and it doesn't help that we have been having these 90 degree days here in Washington, has it?! My feet look hideous...simply hideous.

I wish you the best of luck...you will find a way to cope in those first few weeks. It might be a struggle, but you can do it and will be so strong in the end

 

Hang in there! I think it's so cool that you've made it that far and I hope to as well.

 

QUOTE(SMax @ Jun 30 2008, 06:17 PM) [snapback]853742[/snapback]
Hang in there! I am having similar frustration with my doctor right now, too...at 34 weeks, she didn't think I would make it to my 36 week appointment. So, mentally, I have been prepared to meet the babies for two weeks. These last few weeks have been kicking my butt...and it doesn't help that we have been having these 90 degree days here in Washington, has it?! My feet look hideous...simply hideous.

I wish you the best of luck...you will find a way to cope in those first few weeks. It might be a struggle, but you can do it and will be so strong in the end



I guess we just beat the odds, eh? :] No premies for us I know the longer they stay in the better, so I'm using that as my positive motivation regardless of how I'm feeling [at least I try to :lol:]

My poor ankles look like they have a tennis ball's in em' and sometimes the feet get swollen to the point that the skin just hurts [like a paper cut]. "This part will be over soon"

The weather has been quite hot here hasn't it? I've been trying my best to keep the house cool by opening the windows in the morning and closing the house up just as it hits 65 degrees. We need to invest in an a/c unit for when the girls come. It's okay for us to suffer, but there's no reason the girls have to too.

 

i totally know how you feel, these babies are my 2nd pregnancy and i have a 4 year old at home... Well almost 4... But close enough. My mom has her work on standby but shes not scheduling a flight or time off until after i'm in the hospital. So we know how long they'll be in the NICU or if. So i figure at the longest i'll have 2 weeks with no coverage but even then when they're home and new, dh will still have a few days like 3-4 off to help me, and other friends who wanted to help.

I'm soo sorry that she can't give you a good day, having babies is no exact science, they always want to wait as long as possible. My dr starts 2 weeks of vacation tommorrow. She freaked me out a bit today, she did my fetal fibronectin today just to make sure there isnt anything we have to do this week, and that i can hang on through the weekend. She checked me and felt i was at 1 cm, 70% effaced and a minus 1. She seemed a little brought back, and stumped on that. She tried to brush it off and say its my 2nd baby. But she really seemed disturbed by it. So... I dunno. Our goal for me since both babies heads are down is a vaginal delivery at 35 weeks. We havent even discussed induction. But i'm misserable can't wait to have these two out and here. I know how you must feel at 37 weeks. I'm doing ok, just sick of worrying, and waiting, and wondering.

My feet just started swelling this week, it feels like i got my shins beat up playing soccer, and i can barely walk also daily pins and needles i did find ice packs on elevated feet help. Try putting the ice packs on your shins. Anyways my dr didnt have any help or tips for me there either. HANG in there mom you'll be fine, just take each day at a time. Start doing some walking, if you cant visualize going into labor.. Maybe something will help speed along the process. I'm almost scared to take my terb... i dont want these babies stuck in me forever. My dr already made the comment today checking them out that i'm going to have some good sized twins... UGH!!