Starting to venture out and already annoyed (vent)

So we saw the ped the other day, we had lost our insurance and just got it back so the girls missed January and February RSV shots. I asked about this month and she said their was no point. So since its been in the 90s the last 2 days, i decided to venture out a bit. First we went to the beach and dinner with my grandparents yesterday...thankfully there werent many people at the restraunt and I had sooooo many stupid comments. All the norms "are they twins? Are they boys? (while they are wearing pink and both have earrings ). People were trying to touch them and I had this instinct to slap a few hands, instead I tried to walk faster. Yesterday we ran to target and again all the comments, the pointing, the whispering, the whispering was alot when they saw my grandpa and I walking with the girls...Im guessing they probably thought he was my "suger daddy"

Im thinking about just going back into hiding, honestly I have NO PATIENCE for people at all. I just want to go shopping and not be stopped 15 times while trying to get through...its just annoying. Ive gotten to the point where I dont smile at anyone and I look straight ahead. I dont even slow when someone comes up to me, I start to walk faster, because everyone thinks its ok to tough babies and boy does that iritate me.

Ok Im done complaining...or now anyways

 

It only gets better, LOL

I thought the questions and comments were going to quit as they got older, but it has only gotten worse. Because my two want to wave and say hi to everyone, so they always stop and start talking! LOL

 

The only way to handle it that I have found is not to make eye contact. If you make contact, they will speak. It's not the friendliest thing but sometimes, you just want to run in and run out. It does get better (of course, my son is 10 lbs heavier than his sister so they don't look like twins). Just remember, head down and stay focused on where you want to go.

 

Yesterday was one of the first days we have ventured out, and it was intresting, I got WOW you have your hands full, the common "are they twins", and "how mant kids does she have in there", but this was the TOPPER ...A woman walked by and commmented how busy I must be, as I was starting to load everyone and the stroller in the car she walked to her car and sat there watching and waiting the 5-10 min until I had everyone and everything in the car and then pulled away with this stupid smirk on her face

People can be so irritating!!!

 

I sooooo agree with your vent. I have gone to the mall a few times and the comments of oh how sweet Twins and are they two girls or two boys etc. One is always in pink and the other blue to help people but nope they just keep guessing wrong and at first ok fine but after the tenth twentieth time u just want to lose it. And the touching oh man u just want to yell leave my babies alone..... even though u know u can;t u want to run away screaming. The best was going out and I had the rain shelter on them so no one could touch them but that does not work if it is not raining out.

 

I went to the mall yesterday, luckily I only got a few cliches thrown my way. But I saw another twin mom with brand new babies (b/g), I wanted to stop and talk to her, but she was eating, talking to an adult AND her babies were asleep, so I thought I'd let her enjoy her fun.

When I'm out I have a smile plastered to my face and I nod at people but I keep trucking. Also if I can I stay as far away from people as I can so I can see them coming.

 

I hear you!
People are incredible! I get the "are they boys" question too although they are dressed in pink from head to toe! A couple of times I've said "why else would I dress them in pink?" and got the wierdest responses like "I dressed my son in pink" "pink isn't only for girls, boys can wear it too".
I've noticed if I'm with someone people will not talk to us but when I'm all alone it's someone wanting to have a conversation every step I go. Nefeli is afraid of strangers so she'll cry hysterically if someone gets too close. I say please don't go close they get scared but people rarely listen. Then when she starts screaming they look at me like I'm a bad mother or something.
I get them out of the house every day- there's so much more to see and learn outside. I try to think that people for the most part are happy to see these babies and they smile and all so maybe it's teaching them that the world is a friendly place and that people are happy to see them.

 

I completely agree with you on the touching thing - I would promptly stop any stranger who tried to touch my babies.

As far as the other comments... while some twin questions are silly I never find them annoying - after 10 years of trying to conceive and more IVF attempts thatn I can count, etc. I am only too happy to have anyone comment on my babies! Just the fact that I am finally a parent makes trips to the mall, etc a whole lot less boring and depressing! Just my two cents

 

I know how you feel. I always want to ask "why do you have to TOUCH them!?!? I just dont get it! We were at BRU last week with the girls checking out and one of the employees walks up and grabs both the girls hands before I even had time to look down. I just wanted to scream "its RSV season, DONT touch them!" After she left, I immediately opened up my bag of wipes and started wiping their hands off. My dh looked me as I am wiping, he was embarrased b/c I was in the front of the store and people are looking at me and I said "oh, yes I am" lol! I dont care anymore, my kids come first!

I am really good at ignoring people when they make comments. As I am walking by I can hear the lady off to my left say "oh, look at the twins" I just keep walking, dont even stop. I think what helps me do it is I have Great Danes and they are HUGE dogs so you always get stupid comments or "wow, look at that dog" When I first got into Danes, I always stopped and answered questions, listened to the stupid comments and it just really annoyed me. Finally one day, it just dawned on me, "I just want to walk my dog without anyone stopping me" so that is what I did. I hear the comments and keep on going, I dont give them time to talk to me...and so now, I do the same with the twins. If I am stopped and someone walks up and says something like "look twins" I politely smile and move on. It might be rude but I just want to go out with my twins without any comments, stares, or stupid questions...

 

I know that it is somewhat of a natural reaction to want to touch babies, but I can't stand it either. One of my DD's will hold her hand out to people , but the other draws hers in and gets upset. It's great when they go to her first, because then I say something like 'I am a germ phobe, so I taught her to do that' - sometimes they get the clue and leave the 'friendly' one alone too!.

I also have learned to RUN through the stores and try not to make eye contact. I am a very friendly person, but with feeding and napping schedules, there is no time for the idle twin conversations!

 

quote:
When I'm out I have a smile plastered to my face and I nod at people but I keep trucking.


Me too!
I flat out tell people not to touch them. I say something politely but I do intervene. These are my children, I don't know where your hands have been and I don't even know you. They mostly try to pop the pacifier back in. I usually say something like "We're very cautious about germs but we don't mind if you look".

 

I've just started to take the boys out more and more and ya, everyone seems to have to make a comment ... I, too, just focus straight ahead and keep on going. When I was pregnant I thought it would be fun to take them out and get all the attention but now some kind of mother-cub instinct kicks in and you just want people to leave you alone! I find it funny when you can see people do head-turns out of the corner of your eye - it's so obvious people! But when you are stuck in line you are literally stuck, and then the questions come ... plus you get to find out that EVERYONE has a daughter-in-law's cousin's neice has twins too! I don't have to deal with too much touching, actually, no one has tried to touch them thank God because I'm not sure I could handle that. But I still have them in their BUndleMe's so maybe they look too bundled up to try and touch.

My honey took them once to the mall and if you think we get attention, try being a 6'6" tall handsome guy toting around two babies in a DuoGlider ... he got really annoyed real quick, he didn't even get to get all of his errands done because too many people stopped him!

And why do people always have to point out that we have our hands full?

 

I always get the question of are they twins when I am out by myself with them. I just want to say no one was just a really fast pregnancy of course they are twins. I don't mind all the questions though people are just curious. I carry a can of hospital grade sanitizer in the diaper bag and people must use if they are going to touch but that generally isin't a problem. Personally I love the attention and so do the boys, they are big flirts and will smile at everyone.

 

Next time me and my mother go out with the twins, and when someone asks "are they twins", my dh wants me to say "no, we just got pregnant at the same time" (my mom is 63!)

 

quote:
Originally posted by angie7:
Next time me and my mother go out with the twins, and when someone asks "are they twins", my dh wants me to say "no, we just got pregnant at the same time" (my mom is 63!)


too funny

 

I told dh yesterday that Im going to start telling people Im older than I am...I look really young when I dont do my hair or makeup (which never happens anymore) and I tend to forget my wedding bands, so I get the old ladies shaking their heads at me I know Im only 24 but Ive been married for 5 years, what business is it of anyones how many kids we have or how long weve been together...why does that have any baring on my ability to care for my kids.

Anyways, there were tons of stupid comments yesterday too, I really do stay focused on what iM there to do. One lady even got right in front of the stroller, it took everything I had not to run her over

 

I know someone makes signs that you can attach to the stroller that says 'do not touch the babies'. I will see if I can find it and post it. I've heard of people using them, and after having to repeatedly ask people not to touch the babies, a sign would be nice.

 

I generally just smile and nod - I don't mind the attention and neither does DH when he takes them out on Friday nights when I work...

as for the touching - I don't know what to say to that - I've only had one person try to touch my daughter (she sits in the front of the stroller generally) and she just grabbed her binker out of the seat for her - it wasn't like she touched the part that goes into her mouth...

I have 3 cats so that kind of eliminates the germophobe from me - I don't freak...

 

Ok, on short notice this is what I found:Shirt

However, it's not practical to only have one set of these and expect your kids to wear them every time you go out. I will keep looking.