Starting School (Kindergarten)

Hi All!

My two are not quite 5 yet (almost), but I am going ahead and posting in this forum because this is definately a 5 yr old/school aged group question.

Have any of you had one twin that was ready to start kinder and the other one who was not? We have found ourselves in this situation. I refuse to start one twin out in school and not start the other. I would prefer just to hold both back. BUT....I am concerned that the one we hold back who is ready will be bored repeating pre-k. Perhaps it is just too soon to tell at this point with the one twin who is not ready?? I don't know. They will only turn 5 yrs old 5 weeks before the start of Kinder. So, they would be young 5 yr olds.

Any advice/suggestions/helpful hints? Thanks!!

 

I would send them. Most issues they have will be dealt with in kinder. I'm a may baby myself and was one youngest. I did have reading issues that were solved with glasses and extra help. Why do you think ones not ready?

 

I was worried, but then found out it was about the wrong twin!! I thought my son was going to have issues starting Kindergarten at the same time as my daughter, but he excelled! They are both struggling somewhat socially, but he is excelling in academics and she just does not like math, but excells in reading as well. Have you spoken with their current teacher(s) to see what they think? I, like you, have the worry of having them in different grades because of skills, but you do have to realize they are individuals. You are right, you don't want to have one bored because s/he was held back. :hug: Tough decision. It also depends on what kind of kindergarten it is. My neighboring district has every day, half days but are now changing to every day all days. My district has all day, every other day. There is a lot to think about.

Personally, I was a VERY young kindergartener. I turned 5 two weeks before school started (mid-August birthday). School is different these days. They say that First grade is the new Third grade (did that make sense?) They are learning more stuff early on.

 

I have several friends going through this right now. What specifically are you worried about for your child who isn't ready? There's a lot of development that could happen in the next six months, so your child may end up being ready.

In your shoes I would probably see if there's a private school that could offer a Pre-K curriculum to one of your children and a K curriculum for the other so that the more advanced child doesn't get bored. Then see if the Pre-K kid catches up so they can do public kindergarten or even first together the following year?

 

Thanks for your replies! Right now they attend a private pre-k school. They also offer a kinder program at the school, but that is as far as they go. I love the school because of it's small setting. I am scared to death of sending them (primarily DS) to public school for fear that he will just get lost by the system. I like the more intimate, one-on-one attention they get now.

DS still has trouble with his fine motor skills....holding a pencil & scissors correctly, unbuttoning/buttoning his clothes, etc... He is unable to write his name and/or letters. He also still needs to mature a bit. He is lacking in the social skill dept. as well. When angry, he still has a hard time using his words instead of being physical and instead of asking for a toy, he just takes it. I spoke to the teachers this morning. I was not surprised at all with DS's teachers recommendation of holding him back. However, I was a little surprised after talking to DD's teacher. She said that although she would be "OK" going to kindergarten. It wouldn't hurt her to be held back too. Although she has made HUGE strides this year and is ahead of her brother, she could use another year to fine tune her skills. She thinks (and I agree) that it will make her more of a leader when she does start Kinder.

So, looks like we will wait a year to start Kinder.

 

Honestly, your son sounds alot like my son Jonathan. What we didn't know was that he had an expressive speech delay that kept him from being able to tell people what he wanted on cue. I have one boy (the one with the delay, BTW) who went to K reading--the other one, didn't read until he was told to in K. Long story, short, the summer between 1st and 2nd grade, he decided to read. Now in 4th grade, he is actually surpassing his brother in some areas academically. Oh yeah, my boys are late June babies. Personally, I would send them both on to K. If they don't do well, they can always repeat K at the public school. If they thrive, they can move on to 1st at the public school.

 

You aren't going to hurt anything by holding them out a year. You know your kids, trust your instincts. We held our oldest DS who has a mid-July birthday. He has thrived!

 

I have seen many times people saying things like this. But, while it is true for some kids, I have also seen kids who are held who it did hurt. They were always out of step with their peers, and really were ready for more than their peers were ready for. A child who truly needs the year will benefit, but a child who doesn't need that year doesn't always.

How do they do with their peers? Do they fit in, or are they out of step? Would a stranger pick them out as someone who doesn't belong, when looking at them among their peers? This is why I always say to send them on. Repeating K isn't the end of the world, but you are giving them the chance to flourish. I remember when my boys were in K, there was a boy down the street in Jon's class. Jon had brought home 2 "books" to read, and I was trying to gauge if that was normal. This boy, it turned out, had not brought any home because he still didn't have all his letter sound relationships down. In 1st he was reading, by 4th he is in the top reading group (I only know because he is in the group with my son). Children grow so much between 4.5 and 6 years, to me, it is worth sending them on and then re-evaluating.

 

I'm not saying it in general, but as the OP is someone who already has concerns about sending her kids to Kdg., I seriously doubt it is going to hurt anything.

I'm not talking about a child who turns 5 in January. I'm referring to those borderline cut-off kids. The dates are so arbitrary. A kid born on July 31 who makes the cut-off is not going to be out of step with his peers any more than a kid who is born on August 2nd and misses the cut-off.

I don't see a kid repeating as totally harmless either - they both have their positives and negatives. My 1st grader can name each peer in his classroom who is repeating and has of course asked why they had to repeat 1st grade. I can explain it well and that every kid learns at a different rate, etc. - but some parents aren't so appropriate in their explanations.

 

Jori, I just used your post because it was there and said what I was trying to point out. There are many kids who do need that extra year. There is a set of twins in the boys grade that repeated K. The only time I remember is if I sub in a 5th grade class, and one of the kids there mentions having them in their K class. No one in the 4th grade, where they are now, ever mentions it, even if they know. Now, they do talk about the kid who repeated 1st as having repeated. I guess I have run across too many kids in the past year who are feeling out of place in their grade, because they were held back and really want to be with kids "their age" to not say give it a try.

On Jonathan's baseball team, there is a boy who is a few days older or younger than he is who is in 3rd grade. His mom asked me not to say anything about Jon's age/grade near him, because he gets upset that he is not "in the grade he is supposed to be in", and I am talking a late June birthday. I also know kids like Lennon who fit right in with their grade and being older than their peers. It does go both ways. My point is that once you hold them, if they do grow and mature in K, like many kids do, it is very difficult to jump them back up. But sending them on, then repeating K, especially as the OP said, they can do it at the private school, then repeat at a different school (public), there really is no drawback.

 

My twins are too identical to have one exceed the other. Their IEPs and IFSPs are identical except for the wording. Same goals and everything. But I wanted to say talk to the school and find out what they suggest. Maybe he's not as behind as you think and they both are just fine to start kindergarten. GL