Spoiled Rotten

Every night our Katie goes to sleep to the tune of Kyle crying/screaming. He has gotten used to his daddy rubbing his belly, I refused to do this but instead rather let him cry it out. We have listened to Kyle scream now for 30 minutes and hubby is in there as I type Rubbing his belly to try to get him to sleep ....The other night he screamed for 45 minutes :shok:

He also wakes up in the middle of the night and wants his belly rubbed to get back to sleep, I will not rub his belly in the middle of the night but instead bring him to bed with us (NOT a good thing either ) so I can get some much needed rest.

For months and months we layed them down and they would go out like a light or at least lay there and be quiet till they went to sleep, Never to hear another peep out of them...... I've thought about taking out their baby beds and putting the full size mattress off our oldest son's bed and put it in their floor and just sleep with them till he goes to sleep.......BTW our oldest son sleeps on a palet beside us in our room (which also drives me crazy but at least he's not in the bed with us LOL) I've decided Girls Rule.....Knock on wood Katie is not "Scared" to sleep by herself. :laughing:


My mom asked me "reckon his tummy hurts?" I said well its a funny thing that it quits when he gets in the bed with us :nea:


I don't know what has happened.....I don't know what to do.....He is driving me crazy :crazy:

Any suggestions :help:

 

I have a spoiled (to the point of being a) rotten sleeper too.

We tried a no-cry approach to get them to sleep through. After 14 months of sleep deprivation I finally put my foot down and said, 'It's time to cry' (mostly referring to myself). It took a good 2-3 nights of lots of crying (Nick cried off and (mostly) on for 2.75 hours night one), then the rest of week 1 with some crying...but they got it.

About 2 mos. later we went on vacation and everything got shot to h*ll. When we came back we had to CIO again. Joe got it 15-minutes into the first night. Nick took 3-5 days.

Things were fine until about 18 months when Nick started waking at 4:30/5am. He wouldn't go back to sleep when we let him cry, and he ended up waking up Joe, who also would call it 'morning'. I started bringing him to bed with us at 5am and he'd go right to sleep for another hour or 2.

Unfortunately, 5am became 3am, became 1am, became 10pm. He was coming to bed with us earlier and earlier and was not even getting good sleep. I was so contorted ensuring he was sleeping happily that I was getting about 3 hours of sleep a night.

I decided to CIO again. The first night he woke up at 1am. I went downstairs and closed the door and came up at 6:30am. I don't know how long he cried. Night 2 he woke up at 4am. I went downstairs to sleep on the couch again. This time I crept back to listen for crying 20 minutes later....nothing. It has been 10 days so far and he has been sleeping until 6:30ish each night with NO night wakings and NO crying.

It was really important to me to realize:
1. My sleep was important too
2. His quality of sleep was very poor b/c it was continuously interrupted. He needed solid, quality sleep, and he wasn't going to ever get it if I kept "helping" him sleep.
3. Going back in to 'console' him at progressively longer periods during the CIO was nothing but a horrible tease to him. It only restarted his angry clock and put us back at square one.

Good luck to you. If you want to commiserate further, PM me.

 

I think you are right to let him go. Every time DH goes in and starts rubbing his belly again, he is teaching your son that if you cry long enough, you will get what you want. Stick to your guns, and before you know it, everyone will be sleeping better!

 

I have the same problem with one of mine. But I guess you can call me a big sucker, because I sit in their room and hold Lee's hand through the crib and rock Luke until they go to sleep. I cannot stand to hear them cry in their beds. Some nights it only takes 10 minutes, others is 30 or more (which I hate). I guess sooner or later I will have to bite the bullet and make him CIO. They used to go to bed without any fuss, but not anymore! I don't know what happened!

 

What Sweetpea (Nicole) said.

Also, around 18 months was when I noticed that mine were starting to become manipulative. I don't mean that in an evil way, but just that they were starting to consciously realize that they could influence my behavior. That means you have to decide how far you're going to let them push you. If it doesn't bother you to give them what they want, by all means go ahead, but it sounds like you are pretty sure these are habits you don't want to encourage.

I've had to do a few rounds of mini-CIO recently because Amy has been demanding more and more kisses, hugs, kisses for the lovey, kisses for the blankie, etc. At first I gave in, because they seemed like such minor things, but before I knew it, I was in there for 10 minutes doing kisses, and she was still crying when I left. We've had pretty good luck in the past week or so by doing a few kisses and then saying "I'm going to give each of you one more kiss and then you're going night night, and I'll see you in the morning." The first night I did that, she cried for 20 minutes (which seemed like a lot more, since we hadn't had any significant bedtime crying for months -- plus, now she can talk, so instead of just crying, it was "Mommy hug! Mommy kiss!") The second night, 5 minutes. Now sometimes she is just fine, and sometimes we get 3-5 minutes of whining before she settles down.

The problem is that none of it will work if you can't get DH on board. Also, you will need to be strong in the middle of the night and stop bringing him to bed with you. Lying on the mattress in his room also probably won't work, unless you want to keep doing that every night. (My BIL still does that with his kids, and they are 4 and 6!)

I would suggest going to visit him very briefly when he cries at night, saying "You're OK, you need to stay in your bed and go to sleep now," and leaving. If he cries even when DH is rubbing his belly, there is probably no way out of this without either giving in to him completely, or having some crying. Good luck!

 

i vowed never to do the things you do.. however my water bill is siginificantly higher because i put them to bed and turn on the bath water..

i would do this because you can walk away.. best of luck..

 

I read some good advice right before I had my son. It said never get anything started that you don't want to continue. I didn't own a rocking chair so I didn't rock my kids to sleep. I didn't give them anymore attention during the going to sleep phase than normal good night hugs/kisses and a special goodnight saying to them. The only thing that I did from the beginning is to have background music in their rooms. Now, they lay quietly in their beds and fall asleep on their own. They do protest about getting put in their beds, but the cries don't last for more than a couple of minutes. Stick to your guns and shut the door to the room. Play some quiet music or a sound machine to help soothe him to sleep. Give baths with the sleepy time lavender bath right before bed to help him get to sleep. Set up a nightly routine and stick to it. You will have a rough week in the beginning, but it will get better. Good luck!