spinoff: rules at your house for other kids?

My other post about anger got me to thinking about the screaming thing with my niece. In my house, we don't say "I dont like you", "I hate you" etc. Expressing our feelings like, "I'm mad at you" is ok.

What do you do if you're watching someone else's kids in your house, when they don't have the same rules as you do at home? Is it "my house, my rules" or do you have 2 sets of rules; one for your kids & one for the others?? If she's allowed to talk like that at home, is it wrong to say you can't do it here?? I'm feeling torn about this!

 

When I'm watching other's children, they have to abide by my rules. I also let the parents know this ahead of time too. However, when it comes to my own sisters, they know my rules.

Besides when they grow up and go to other houses, they will have to abide by their rules.

 

IN most areas I would say my house my rules. IF they are resonable rules. At the very least i would make a point of telling my kids that the other child might be allowed to act that way but we do not. Since it is your niece it is even less unresonable to expect her to follow your house rules. Major things are a definate my house my rules, like climbing on furniture, hitting and biting etc.
Hope i didn't ramble too much and this makes sense.

 

If I watched other kids on a regular basis, I would want them to follow my rules. Since we just have friends over occasionally, I expect them to follow our rules about physical stuff (hitting, climbing on the furniture, etc.) -- most of which are rules that any parent in his/her right mind would make their kid follow at home too. But I don't worry so much about what they say. Maybe this will change when they're older. Also, when we have other kids over, their parents are nearly always here too, which makes a difference.

 

Kids at your house follow your rules. I am very adament about this in a nice way. I just say, "We don't say things like that at Lindsay's house" or "We don't _____ at Lindsay's house." I've never had anyone not comply. I do know that sometimes kids will not follow your rules. I have a friend who has a four year old and had a playdate one day with another little boy. The little boy would not listen and even talk back to my friend. We'll just say that was a one and done playdate.

 

It's our house, our rules for the most part. I expect my kids to follow the house rules while in their friend's (or grandparents or whoever) homes as well. I don't think it's unreasonable since we're pretty lax around here. It seems a little unfair for me to tell my kids they can't do _____ in the house, but because so-and-so's mom lets them do it at their house, it's okay for him but not my kids. Not sure if I explained that right... :blush:

 

QUOTE(sjdes @ Dec 3 2008, 12:22 PM) [snapback]1095528[/snapback]
When I'm watching other's children, they have to abide by my rules. I also let the parents know this ahead of time too. However, when it comes to my own sisters, they know my rules...


Same for us. The only children I ever watch (besides mine) are my sister's and they know the rules at my house.

 

My house, my rules. Now, I'll probably be more gentle with someone else's child (as a PP said, "We don't do ____ here"), because my kids would already know they were committing an infraction. And if it was a short and rare visit I'd probably allow a little more slack (when my niece, whom I hadn't seen in 5 years, was here 2 years ago, I let all the big kids have more computer time than I normally would have) in some areas. Not stuff like hitting or jumping on furniture, though. And I expect my kids to abide by the rules of whatever house they are visiting.

 

Definitely my house, my rules here. And my kids know that both our rules and the other's house rules apply when they go there as well. As in, just because somebody lets their kids jump on the bed, if my kids are at their house, they are not allowed to jump on the bed. And they must follow the rules of that house, even if it's something I normally allow.