Spinoff: Do you have any snowbabies (frozen embryo)?

Just a spinoff to Jackie's FET question. I have one snowbaby (frozen embryo) and I just don't know what to do with him (or her). I am pretty sure DH is not interested in doing this again now, but maybe in 4 years. But is 4 years too late to thaw a snowbaby??? I heard that after 2 years it was time to make a decision about what to do with them? I just feel awful discarding it ...

Maybe I could donate it to the Snowflakes program (but then there would be our child possibly living in CA someday, which is just weird).

What would you do???

To clarify, this is not a post about whether or not it is wrong to discard frozen embies or not... so please do not feel like you need to defend your decision, that others will judge decisions made. It is a personal choice and I am just looking for all my options.

 

I'm not exactly sure what you mean by snowbaby, but I am assuming you mean frozen embryos?? If that's the case, then I will say dh and I just couldn't go through life knowing that our "child" may be out there if we donated them so we had them discarded. We wanted two kids, we got two, so we knew we were done. I'm sure there are plenty of people with opinions about what we did so let me just say every one is individual and this was our personal decision.

I do have to say that when I sent the letter in to discard the embryos I felt so...odd. I knew I was done, I mean totally done, having children but it was like I was closing a whole chapter of my life and I have to admit I had very mixed emotions. Does this make sense at all? (I am exhausted today!) :blink:

 

Yes, we have 7 blasts frozen.

Sarah-We are in the process now of donating our 7 blasts to The National Embryo Donation Center in Knoxville, TN. We looked at Snowflakes, but we really didn't want to be involved just donate them for another couple. They also wanted you to fill out a huge book to donate them, I just thought that was too much. They also would not reimburse any fees we paid this year for storage and they would give your embies back if they weren't all used, I didn't want them back.

The National Embryo Donation Center sent us a check for our storage fees for this year and they don't return your embies they give them to other couples until they are gone, which I liked. We had to fill out a short questionairre, but that was it. It was super easy.

For me it was the only thing to do since we weren't going to use any of them. I really hope they help someone else out, after all they were all frozen at day 5.

If you want any more info. on it, PM me.

 

well - you know me - so I vote to donate. I see so many beautiful stories come from donated eggs/embryos. It's so amazing hanging out on a surrogacy/fertility website! BUT - do not do anything that you feel strange about. Search your heart and see what you come up with. Have you thought about donating for research? Then it could be used for good, but you wouldn't have a biological child out wandering the streets without you.

I never wanted to be an egg donor until after becomming a surrogate. Now I want to so badly...and the sad thing is...nobody will take my eggs because I am too old! LOL

Good luck with whatever you decide, I am sure it must be a difficult decision to make!

 

we have 17 frozen - I want to do it one more time somedays and others I think I am done so I will keep them until I am sure.

 

We have 2 snowbabies and are currently paying for storage....I want to give them a chance, DH is not against it- but just not sure about me being pregnant..... So until we come to a consensus it is storage for us!

 

We have seven snowbabies from our ivf. I really want to go back and use them at some point, and in fact DH and I discussed it before we even started the process, that no matter what we would go back and use them, but he is having second thoughts now that we are in reality having twins. I think that we will just wait and see what life is like with the twins, but I am still hoping that we go back and use them someday, I would hate to have this be the only time I get to experience pregnancy (will I still be saying that in a few weeks?? <_< )

 

We just used our 2 frozen embryos this cycle. We had discussed our options too and just could not donate them if we were still alive. I couldn't imagine my kids out there w/o me raising them.
Another option to think about is that they could transfer them w/o preparing you for a cycle. So that way they go back in you but little to no chance they would take. Just another option out there not promoting one way or another!

Tracy

 

QUOTE(Tracy623 @ May 22 2007, 10:19 AM) [snapback]264312[/snapback]
We just used our 2 frozen embryos this cycle. We had discussed our options too and just could not donate them if we were still alive. I couldn't imagine my kids out there w/o me raising them.


I guess it's all how you look at it. I don't see it this way. I could use all 7 of them myself and none of them work. We are done and can't risk another early delivery since no one can tell us what went wrong last time and why they were born so early and I didn't want to discard them or donate to research, so that left donation. I look at it as I'm helping another couple who is not able to use their own egg/sperm to have a child. I will find out if a pregnancy is achieved, but that is it and that's all we want, just to help someone else out who is not as fortunate as us. Not trying to start a debate, just giving another perspective on donation.

 

This is something that weighs on the back of my mind all the time. We have seven frozen embryos left. I am currently paying for storage, but DH and I really feel that we are done with having children. The twins are enough for us. And I don't think that I could go through the **** of IVF again. Maybe I am just selfish or something, but something just doesn't sit right with me with donating them to infertile couples, but on the other hand, I don't think I would have had any kind of problem using a donated embryo had it come to that point during our fertility treatments. I had looked into donating to research, and honestly there isn't much information and resources out there to actually do this. I think that inevitably we will donate them to the clinic for practice/trials to help them better the IVF process.

Before we went into the IVF process we had to meet with a counselor to go over all of this stuff, and sign all these papers of "what if's" and we had an idea then what we would do then, but honestly we really weren't thinking that far ahead, we were just thinking about getting pregnant. It is a totally defferent perspective after you have successfully completed IVF and left with extra embryos. So I guess for right now we are literally buying time...

 

We have 3, I think, 5 day blasts. We are in limbo on this too. At the time all I was thinking was getting pregnant and put this off to another day. I never thought it would work :mellow: I am thinking I am going to keep them and I thought maybe in a few years I would do a regular cycle one at a time and what happens happens. But no one told me there was a timeline, or maybe I just don't remember, its going to be 2 years in June so maybe I'll get a call from my clinic. :unsure:

Basically, I don't know either I guess! But for some reason the idea of giving them and knowing or now knowing if they're out there would haunt me forever. That's just me. I think its great though that so many people can do that I wish I could. I know how hard it is not to be able to have kids.

I think I've rambled enough...............

 

No frozen embryos for us. We had 3 eggs retrieved, 2 fertilized with ICSI, both transferred at day 3, and fraternal twin girls. If I had frozen embryos I'd have to have them transferred. We just couldn't donate, because we'd know we had a biological child out there somewhere. Not that I don't commend those who do donate embryos, it's just not for us.

 

Yes, we have 5 blasts (5-day embryos).

 

we have 7 snowbabies as well, but we haven't really discussed what will happen.....let me get these 2 little boogers out, and THEN we'll talk!! :lol:

sandra

 

I had 6 frozen embies from my first IVF cycle. But we chose to do another fresh cycle vs. frozen as it was our LAST try at ART ever. It was really hard to convince the embryologist NOT to freeze any from our 2nd IVF. We always stimmed well and made great eggs that had a very high fertilization rate too and highest grade embies. We knew we would not want anymore kids if this final attempt at IVF worked. It did in doubles - resulted inmy frat twin boys. We too could not ethically donate our embies knowing we COULD have bio kids out there. It just did not sit right with us. So we discarded ours with heavy hearts though. Well I had a heavy heart anyways.

That is my story and I am sticking to it

 

We have 7 frozen embryos but they were frozen on the day after retrieval. We used 10 embryos to get pregnant with our 2 girls. I really would like to try again but DH is against it. So, for now, we are just waiting. Chances are that even with all 7 we may not get pregnant, but we could have twins again. I do not know what we will do.

 

We didn't do this. IUI worked for us.

I just wanted to say that if we did have some frozen i beleive I would donate them. I also think my perspective is greatly influenced by two things:
1: I'm adopted. I grew up in a wonderful loving family who so desperately wanted kids. I've had a great life. It's only good all the way around!
2: After having to struggle to get pregnant, I can't imagine not being able to have kids. What an amazing gift to those who can't do and have what we did and do. IMHO, It's the most selfless act anyone can do.

I truely believe that parenting is not biological alone. It's mostly love, patience, understanding and all that stuff.

 

We have 6 frozen embryos. We're doing a FET on Sept. 28th. They are frozen in groups of three, so the plan is to thaw out one straw with three embryos and see how they look. If there's one of really great quality, we'll just put one in and refreeze the others if they still look viable. If they don't look that great we'll probably put in two.

Regardless of what happens we will use them all. I have major moral issues with discarding them or donating them to research and I don't think I could donate them to another couple unless for some reason we couldn't use them. Donation would be a last resort. My dh is worried we'll end up with 6 more kids, but I keep trying to convice him that the possibility of all of them surviving the thaw and becoming babies is extremely unlikely!

 

QUOTE(twoplustwo @ May 23 2007, 02:01 PM) [snapback]266117[/snapback]
2: After having to struggle to get pregnant, I can't imagine not being able to have kids. What an amazing gift to those who can't do and have what we did and do. IMHO, It's the most selfless act anyone can do.

I truely believe that parenting is not biological alone. It's mostly love, patience, understanding and all that stuff.


That is exactly why we are donating our leftover embryos! Well said Alison!

 

Wow, everyone's stories are so wonderful! I am glad to know all the options!

Amy, I appreciate the link to the National Embryo Donation Center. I will PM you if I need any questions answered.

I guess for me the hardest part is the thought that my one embie is my daughter that I will never have. I don't know for sure if it is a girl (and knowing my luck, it would be my Matthew instead ) but if it was I would feel awful knowing that I never did have her and she was there the whole time waiting for me. Ok, I know I am being silly, but it was my life's dream to have a daughter and a mother daughter relationship like me and my mom, and of course, I haven't realized that dream.

 

We have 2 6-day blasts frozen. I would love to go through pregnancy again and have another child, but I just want a singleton. Of course if we thaw both of them together, I will feel obligated to put both in. I don't personally feel that I could just discard any. Mayson and Shelby were just at the 5 day blast level when we put them back and they both took. I am fairly certain that we would probably end up with twins again. Plus, DH is pretty certain that he is finished now since we were blessed with a boy and a girl. So, since we can't agree we have decided to sit on it for awhile. I am hoping that as the twins get older we will both move to the same thinking. Either that we can handle twins again or we are done and ready to donate. More than likely we will donate to Snowflake. It does kind of weird me out that I might have kids out there, but after struggling so long to get preganant I am willing to help out a couple in need.

 

If you would have asked this question before I had the babies, I probably would have given you a different answer. How I viewed my embies back then versus now is definitely different. We have 3 blasts. All 3 that we transferred stuck, but we lost a triplet during the first trimester.

Back then - no problem letting them thaw and degenerate or donate to research.

Now - Knowing that we were pretty successful the first time, I have this feeling that at least one of those blasts would be viable. How do I feel about losing that? I feel weird. I am neither for nor against it and am having my own internal conflict these days. I am older (36) and want to return to work soon. I have told myself that if I was a few years younger and had a different DH, I would probably try again. I don't have a bad DH, but he looks at this like we have what we have wanted for so long. And, not only that, but we got two blessings. Why am I getting greedy?

So, they sit in the freezer.

:unknw:

 

I just wanted to say, from someone who will never have my own biological children, that I commend all of you for putting your hearts so fully into your decisions. I wish I had known about the donation possibility earlier in life and maybe I would have gotten to enjoy the childbirth experience, but God chose to give me my three beautiful children a different way. God bless you all.

 

There are other organizations to donate to besides Snowflakes. You have to go with what feels right to you, but I am not a fan of Snowflake's politics, so if we choose to donate I'll personally be going elsewhere.

 

QUOTE(girlsxtwo @ Jun 6 2007, 05:14 PM) [snapback]282181[/snapback]
I just wanted to say, from someone who will never have my own biological children, that I commend all of you for putting your hearts so fully into your decisions. I wish I had known about the donation possibility earlier in life and maybe I would have gotten to enjoy the childbirth experience, but God chose to give me my three beautiful children a different way. God bless you all.



That was so sweet. And you do have three beautiful children.

Your story is exactly why we chose to donate our leftover embies, so hopefully another couple could benefit from it and be able to experience the joys of parenting and pregnancy as we have.

 

We have 10 frozen embryos...what a lot to think about! We got the twins on our first try, with just two transferred. I feel selfish, but I so want to get pregnant on my own still....haven't given up that dream I guess...that it'll just magically happen like it's supposed to. If we were to transfer, I would do one as well, seeing as I was on bedrest for half my pregnancy because I am so small-framed, etc. Now that I am a mommy, I don't want to do that to Lilly and Owen, not be able to be active for several months because of being pregnant with multiples again.

 

QUOTE(girlsxtwo @ Jun 6 2007, 05:14 PM) [snapback]282181[/snapback]
I just wanted to say, from someone who will never have my own biological children, that I commend all of you for putting your hearts so fully into your decisions. I wish I had known about the donation possibility earlier in life and maybe I would have gotten to enjoy the childbirth experience, but God chose to give me my three beautiful children a different way. God bless you all.


I agree with Amy...Laura, that was so nice of you to say. It is a hard decision and an important one in my book. I know that eventually Dave and I will go the donaton route like Amy and Patrick did. I just hope someone else can raise my little girl as well as I would have

 

This is such a hard decision, that I consider myself lucky that I do not have to make it. We were not left with any frozen embryos. We ended up with two day-5 blasts that we transferred and both took. During the IVF process I prayed and prayed that this would be the scenario and this is what happened so maybe God was listening.

I think if I did have frozen embryos I would give them a shot with one transfer at a time, or donate them to another couple. I totally understand the feeling that your child is out there somewhere and you're not raising them, but donation seems like the best option to me because I created them, so I want to give them the chance at life. I think I'd shop around to find a good donation program .... I'd want one where I was as personally involved as possible so I would know where the embryo was going.

 

We have 4 snowbabies and yes it is a very tough decision to make. Good luck to you with what you decide.

 

Anyone have any snowbabies or know where to find information for adopting some?
Struggling with infertility and desperately want to experience pregnancy and birth and have been told by my RE that embryonic adoption/transfer is a possible method since I am not a candidate for IVF.
Any information would be greatly appreciated.

 

QUOTE(wishingonastar1701 @ Jun 16 2007, 02:59 PM) [snapback]294963[/snapback]
Anyone have any snowbabies or know where to find information for adopting some?
Struggling with infertility and desperately want to experience pregnancy and birth and have been told by my RE that embryonic adoption/transfer is a possible method since I am not a candidate for IVF.
Any information would be greatly appreciated.



Sorry you are suffering from infertility. :hug99:

Snowflakes is an embryo adoption place. They like the donors and recipients to have some kind of contact, not sure if you want that or not.


We donated our leftover snowbabies to The National Embryo Donation Center just last month. I looked at Snowflakes, but didn't care much for it.

I just went to yahoo.com and typed in embryo adoption/donation and it lists a few. I looked at them all, but we finally decided on The National Embryo Donation Center in Knoxville, TN.

I hope you find those sights useful. If I can help anymore, please PM me.

 

We have 5 embryos left. DH says he doesn't want anymore, and I thought I didn't either. But now I am not so sure, so for now they are going to stay frozen.

 

QUOTE(Sara26 @ May 23 2007, 03:21 PM) [snapback]266255[/snapback]
We have 6 frozen embryos. We're doing a FET on Sept. 28th. They are frozen in groups of three, so the plan is to thaw out one straw with three embryos and see how they look. If there's one of really great quality, we'll just put one in and refreeze the others if they still look viable. If they don't look that great we'll probably put in two.

Regardless of what happens we will use them all. I have major moral issues with discarding them or donating them to research and I don't think I could donate them to another couple unless for some reason we couldn't use them. Donation would be a last resort. My dh is worried we'll end up with 6 more kids, but I keep trying to convice him that the possibility of all of them surviving the thaw and becoming babies is extremely unlikely!

 

Hi~ I wanted to reply to the subject of frozen embyos. I have 4 children...the first 2 are twins from our first IVF. I froze 3 embryos from that cycle and then we were miraculously blessed with 2 more children naturally. I would love to know if anyone has done a natural frozen embryo cycle that has resulted in a pregnancy. I am hoping to go this route and want to give my embryos a fair chance, but don't want to go through the injections and drugs again. Please reply ! Thank you! Marianne (this is my first time on your website..it has been very helpful and encouraging today)

 

Hi~ I wanted to reply to the subject of frozen embyos. I have 4 children...the first 2 are twins from our first IVF. I froze 3 embryos from that cycle and then we were miraculously blessed with 2 more children naturally. I would love to know if anyone has done a natural frozen embryo cycle that has resulted in a pregnancy. I am hoping to go this route and want to give my embryos a fair chance, but don't want to go through the injections and drugs again. Please reply ! Thank you! Marianne (this is my first time on your website..it has been very helpful and encouraging today)

Hi~ I wanted to reply to the subject of frozen embyos. I have 4 children...the first 2 are twins from our first IVF. I froze 3 embryos from that cycle and then we were miraculously blessed with 2 more children naturally. I would love to know if anyone has done a natural frozen embryo cycle that has resulted in a pregnancy. I am hoping to go this route and want to give my embryos a fair chance, but don't want to go through the injections and drugs again. Please reply ! Thank you! Marianne (this is my first time on your website..it has been very helpful and encouraging today)