Sperating the babies in daycare! Advice please :(

Hey guys! Ok so here is what is going on, I need advice from anyone who has dealt with this or what you would do in my shoes.
At my kids daycare, my 19 month old girls fight. A lot. But it seems like everytime I go in other kids are in time out for hitting or pushing or biting as well, so it is definately not JUST my children. The daycare says all twins there get seperated because of the same reason.
This would be fine IF one wasnt going to be moves up to the next stage room. So one is going to moved with all older kids. I dont know if it is going to be an advantage for her (learning more, which wouldnt be fair for my other child) or a disadvantage (getting bullied because she is the youngest).
What should I do? I dont want my kids to keep fighting, and I know the daycare wants them seperated because it will be easier on them too.
Help please! All advice is welcome!!

 

Sorry to hear that. My g/b twins go to daycare mon and wed or wed and fri /week. They stay in the same class (18-30 months). There is another set of twins in the same class as well. They are 2 months older than my kids. We never have flighting, biting, hitting issues at school, at least their teacher hasnt said anythin yet. I usually stay 5-10 mins when i drop them off and pick them up. All the kids are very happy and play nicely. I bet flights do happen though.

My kids do flight over toys at home. But it seems like they more well behave and happy after school though. I understand how u feel. Personally i would check out other daycares. Its unacceptable for me to seperate my kids though. But its just me. Good luck!

 

I would ask why they are choosing which one to move up. It could be that that child is ready for more which would be some of the problem. If they are moving one up because that child is ready ( 19 months is the cusp of moving anyway), then I really wouldn't have a problem with it. They are different kids and mature at different rates. The other child will probably move up in a month or so anyway. Move up separations are usually short term.

If they randomly chose which one to move, that would probably bother me more. My boys do much better when they are apart in school, and have from the beginning. They tend to feed off one another, which makes it more difficult for everyone. And, yes, it does make it easier on the teacher when they aren't together, which in turn allows the teacher to focus on all the kids, not just mine--which is fair.

 

Sounds like they are having issues with the whole class and need another teacher. My girls went all thu daycare together. Deprecating them doesn't sound like it will fix the issue. It's this age group. They need some one paying close attention to separate them and redirect them when something starts.

 

My boys attend daycare (preschool now) 3 days a week. They were seperated at 14 months. Best decision we ever made. They were horrible when they were together in the toddler room. The teacher had to spend a lot more time with them then the other kids which was not at all fair considering the other parents were paying as well. One would get into to something they shouldn't and the other would follow suit. One would cry and scream and the other would start in. Neither napped. They were extremely disruptive, didn't listen, didn't follow directions. It is easy to say the teacher should have been able to handle it but the boys behavior caused other kids to act out as well. Plus the teachers had 6-8 other kids in the room so it was unfair to those other kids. Their toddler room was from 1-2.5 year olds. Luckily they had 3 toddler rooms and a two year old room which was to help with transitiioning to preschool or for kids who were not ready for the preschool room but had outgrown the toddler room. As I said it was the best thing ever. One of my boys got really sick and missed two days of school. His twin did wonderful those two days. He out did the 2 year olds in the room. It was night and day. He followed directions, took a nap, hardly cried, didn't act out etc. When his twin returned to the room it was hell again. So that did it for us and we have never looked back. One of my boys has always been a bit ahead socially so he has always moved up first with the exception of when they transferred to preschool rooms at 27 months. The preschool room has kids ages 2.5 to 5 years. It has not been an issue. It should not be an issue as long as the teachers are good. As far as their twin bond. It has actually been enhanced. They are best friends and even call each other their best friend. They do everything together 4 days a week. They chat all the way home about their day 3 days a week. Luckily one of the boys teachers is a twin and he will take my boy to "visit" his brother when he is having a tough day. He gets to go say hi and get a hug. I drop them off in the same room for breakfast and then they get seperated out. I am told they hug and kiss each other goodbye everytime.

As for one moving before the other one does. Does the older class have 2 rooms? Is there a reason besides wanting to seperate? I had one move up from infant to toddler first because he was bored and had been walking since 9 months. He moved at 11 months. I should have known then that they needed to be seperated. The one that was left in the infant room really blossomed. They both moved to preschool at the same time but one of mine definitely needed to move (the same one that walked early). He had become a real problem in his toddler room. The moment he was bored he started acting out and would try to get the other kids involved. He was the ring leader. So maybe one is ready to move and other is not. I would ask why one and not the other.

 

I'm confused, how close are they to moving up anyway (in terms of age/stage cut-off for the rooms)? Are there two rooms/groups at the older age but only one for the younger age? If not then surely moving one up is at best a temporary solution, the other will have to move up too once they hit the age limit.
I agree with what Sharon and mama dragon said, if the daycare have a proper reason for wanting to move one up (not just to be able to split them) I would consider it. If it's only because they don't want to deal with the fighting then I would not be impressed and would insist that they stay in the younger room until they are really ready to move up. Whether or not they are separated into different rooms at that stage is a different issue.

 

Also can you go and observe without the kids seeing you? Our daycare has video cameras and we are able to watch a live feed in the office. I was able to observe their behavior and how the teachers were handling it.