Speaking of irrational fears...

Last night dd must have had a nightmare about a red truck or something because she woke up several times crying, screaming and hysterical, banging on the door. Today at nap time the same thing happened and essentially we gave up on her nap. So tonight rolls around and I can tell at bed time she's starting to get scared and when it's time to shut off the light she won't lay down, keeps trying to creep off the bed and saying she has to use the potty (she hasn't been at all interested in using the potty up until now). She starts crying when I try to leave the room so we look out the window together so I can show her there are no red trucks and that she's safe, I offer her flashlights, presents in the morning of she goes to bed, etc... Anyway 45 minutes later I'm still trying to sooth her, calm her down and get her to lay down and she just won't. Every time I try to leave the room she jumps off the bed and comes running after me, screaming and crying. I know she's scared of something but I can't get her to calm down and go to sleep. Eventually I just get up and leave her screaming and crying in the room. She went on for about 10 minutes running around, banging on the door and screaming for me and then she stopped. It was horrible. I didn't know what else to do but get up and leave.

I'm sure I've scared her for life, leaving her in there terrified. What else was there for me to do short of sitting there with her all night long? Ugh, I feel like a horrible mother. I hope I'm not the only one this has happened too.

 

Not necessarily for a fear of anything - but I have had to leave one of my girls like that once or twice before. She'll get all upset about something (usually when she's SERIOUSLY overtired, something simple like the wrong blanket will set her off) and will refuse to calm down to go to sleep. My only option has been to leave the room, and she'll do just what your daughter did. Run around like a mad man banging on the door, putting all her bodyweight into it, screaming, etc. After about 10 minutes, I'll go back in and she's willing to at least listen to me sing. My daughter would go on all night though if I didn't eventually go back in there (she's gone as long as 4 hours before) but like I said, at least when I do go back in there, she'll quite down and listen to me sing and then fall asleep....

So no, you're not the only one that's had to resort to that.

 

Nope you're not alone. Allison recently started crying before bedtime telling me she's scared and she wanted me to lay down with her, or sleep in my bed. I've had to leave her while she cries as well. First week was horrible, but it has gotten better since then. She still says she's scared, but she no longer just screams and cries..just wimpers a bit and then she goes to sleep.

 

We've had a few phases of this over the years. If you hang around or make a big deal about it, she may take that to mean there really is something to be so afraid about. I used those times to acknowledge their fears, but also to try to explain them (like you did) and teach them ways to cope with the fear. I don't know if you guys do tv but there was a great Little Bill episode when he was afraid and his great grandma pulled out a happy quilt. She helped work through stopping the negative thoughts and thinking about the happy things pictured on the quilt. When we have a freak out moment at night, I remind them that they are safe, give them a big hug, tuck them back in and help them try to think about happy things. Then I leave them to work on it themselves. I stay calm and reassuring, even if I have to go back in and remind them a million times that they're safe and to think happy thoughts, and eventually they figure it out. hth!

 

Mine have just started the "I'm scared" talk. If they give me this line at bedtime and want me to lay down with them, I tell them "No I can't lay down with you. Mommy has her own bed. I'll leave the door open. If you need something, I am right outside and can hear you." Sometimes they cry when I leave and sometimes they don't. So, no you are not the only mom to leave them crying. :hug: