Sorry people A few questions on CIO

Discussion in 'The First Year' started by ambernruby, Jun 9, 2009.

  1. ambernruby

    ambernruby Well-Known Member

    How old were your l/os when you did CIO?

    How long did it take for it to work?

    How long did they cry for?

    Did you do naps and bedtime or one or the other first?

    Were you still doing night feeds?

    Did you do extinction or modified?

    I have 6 days where df will be here with me at night for support as of Friday. Do you think the babies can learn within 6days? It's just i would be a total loss at doing CIO on my own.

    I'm greatful for any of the questions you can manage to answer, i know how busy we all are!!
    tia
     
  2. becky5

    becky5 Guest

    QUOTE
    How old were your l/os when you did CIO?

    Justin 9 months
    Josh 8 months
    Jake 6 months

    QUOTE
    How long did it take for it to work?

    Justin about 7 days
    Josh about 3 days
    Jake 2 days
    QUOTE
    How long did they cry for?

    None of them cried for longer than 20 minutes at a time.

    QUOTE
    Did you do naps and bedtime or one or the other first?

    Both
     
  3. becky5

    becky5 Guest

    (Too many quotes! Sorry for the 2 replies!)

    QUOTE
    Were you still doing night feeds?

    Justin yes
    Josh and Jake no

    QUOTE
    Did you do extinction or modified?

    Extinction

    QUOTE
    Do you think the babies can learn within 6days?

    Yes

    GL Liz! Let us know how it goes!
     
  4. ambernruby

    ambernruby Well-Known Member

    Thats great becky thanx! So it looks like the younger they are the quicker they grasp it, with your boys anyway. Oh i need this to work!


    Sorry i forgot to put in the post did you let them CIO together?
     
  5. miss_bossy18

    miss_bossy18 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    How old were your l/os when you did CIO? 3.5 months - totally not politically correct but it was the right choice for us. ;)

    How long did it take for it to work?
    it was about 3 nights of really intense crying & then a couple of weeks of hit or miss.

    How long did they cry for? the first night was for almost 2 hours, the second night for about 45 minutes & the third night was about 30 minutes.

    Did you do naps and bedtime or one or the other first?
    we did bedtime first. then a couple of weeks later we did their morning nap. then a couple of weeks after that we did their afternoon nap. we didn't really need to do anything for their catnap as by then they "got" it.

    Were you still doing night feeds?
    yes - we did a dreamfeed at around 10:30pm & then they woke on their own around 3:00am - 4:00am to nurse.

    Did you do extinction or modified? modified. although now, if we have to do any re-training, we just do extinction.

    I have 6 days where df will be here with me at night for support as of Friday. Do you think the babies can learn within 6days? It's just i would be a total loss at doing CIO on my own.
    i definitely think they can - especially if you're consistent, although do expect that you'll have off nights here & there for at least a couple of weeks. just make sure you have a game plan in place for how you'll deal with those & you'll be fine.

    Sorry i forgot to put in the post did you let them CIO together? we didn't - we seperated them for the first couple of weeks. because we were doing modified it made it much easier to tell who was crying when & for how long & who we still needed to check on (DH & i were each "assigned" a baby so it was a little simpler as well).
     
  6. CHJH

    CHJH Well-Known Member

    How old were your l/os when you did CIO?
    9 months, only with one of our sons.

    How long did it take for it to work?
    It worked for night wakings, but he still needed support to fall asleep initially until age 2.

    How long did they cry for?
    About 45 minutes at a time, a couple of times a night, for a few days. We were done in less than a week.

    Did you do naps and bedtime or one or the other first?
    Only bedtime.

    Were you still doing night feeds?
    No, my boys stopped eating at night at around 12 weeks (lucky, I know).

    Did you do extinction or modified?
    Extinction.

    I have 6 days where df will be here with me at night for support as of Friday. Do you think the babies can learn within 6days? It's just i would be a total loss at doing CIO on my own.
    Yes!

    Note: I slept in the basement because I was a total wimp. I let my husband hear the crying! We kept a journal and wrote down all the info because 5 minutes of crying feels like 5 hours if you don't really time it.
     
  7. rrodman

    rrodman Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(mummy2ambernruby @ Jun 9 2009, 08:13 AM) [snapback]1347047[/snapback]
    How old were your l/os when you did CIO? Seven months

    How long did it take for it to work? 2 nights, with some retraining here and there since when things get us out of whack.

    How long did they cry for? Anna for about 30 minutes the first night and then not again. Jack for 45 minutes, then I felt compelled to check on him, accidentally woke him, and he cried another 45 minutes. We also had 45 minute crying once for a wake-up.

    Did you do naps and bedtime or one or the other first? We did bedtime first then naps.

    Were you still doing night feeds? No, and I don't know that I would do it while still doing night feeds.

    Did you do extinction or modified? Extinction.

    I have 6 days where df will be here with me at night for support as of Friday. Do you think the babies can learn within 6days? It's just i would be a total loss at doing CIO on my own. Yes, they can learn in 6 days - I think 3 days is thrown out a lot as the general rule.

    I did let them CIO together.


    I'm greatful for any of the questions you can manage to answer, i know how busy we all are!!
    tia
     
  8. ambernruby

    ambernruby Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(CHJH @ Jun 9 2009, 04:05 PM) [snapback]1347296[/snapback]
    How old were your l/os when you did CIO?
    9 months, only with one of our sons.

    How long did it take for it to work?
    It worked for night wakings, but he still needed support to fall asleep initially until age 2.

    How long did they cry for?
    About 45 minutes at a time, a couple of times a night, for a few days. We were done in less than a week.

    Did you do naps and bedtime or one or the other first?
    Only bedtime.

    Were you still doing night feeds?
    No, my boys stopped eating at night at around 12 weeks (lucky, I know).

    Did you do extinction or modified?
    Extinction.

    I have 6 days where df will be here with me at night for support as of Friday. Do you think the babies can learn within 6days? It's just i would be a total loss at doing CIO on my own.
    Yes!

    Note: I slept in the basement because I was a total wimp. I let my husband hear the crying! We kept a journal and wrote down all the info because 5 minutes of crying feels like 5 hours if you don't really time it.


    I'm a bit of a whimp about it too hence me wanting to ddo it only with DF support. Thanx for taking the time to answer these.
     
  9. ambernruby

    ambernruby Well-Known Member

    Thanx Mom to Jack and Anna. We are still doing night feeds but i am sure it is just habit now, they have slept through the night before just not consistantly. For now it seems they are taking smaller amounts through the day to allow for 2 feeds through the night. They are also on 2 meals a day. They always wake up between 4 & 6 hrs after the last feed and i think it is just a habit we have all gotten into.
    Obviously if were doing cio it will be hard for them if we feed sometimes and not respond at othertime and i'm not sure i'd be able to tell the difference of a hunger cry or a i want you to rock kind of cry.

    Hmmmm what to do?
     
  10. rrodman

    rrodman Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(mummy2ambernruby @ Jun 9 2009, 11:30 AM) [snapback]1347330[/snapback]
    Thanx Mom to Jack and Anna. We are still doing night feeds but i am sure it is just habit now, they have slept through the night before just not consistantly. For now it seems they are taking smaller amounts through the day to allow for 2 feeds through the night. They are also on 2 meals a day. They always wake up between 4 & 6 hrs after the last feed and i think it is just a habit we have all gotten into.
    Obviously if were doing cio it will be hard for them if we feed sometimes and not respond at othertime and i'm not sure i'd be able to tell the difference of a hunger cry or a i want you to rock kind of cry.

    Hmmmm what to do?



    Yeah, I don't know that you couldn't do it with night feeds. I just can't visualize how it would work. I will say that even after we thought we were done with night feeds, there were a couple times Jack would wake up just screaming and we'd spend forever trying to figure out what was going on only to finally wonder if he was hungry. Gave him a bottle, he devoured it like a starving man, and went right back to sleep. So, I guess the question is how you learn to tell the difference. Once you get through CIO, you kind of learn that it's unusual for them to be crying at a certain time and go check it out, and so you catch things like hunger and leg stuck in the crib. But the trouble is, what if they are genuinely hungry while you are doing CIO. Basically, you know your babies and whether they can make it through the night, what their self-soothing ability is, etc. The fact that they have STTN before is a good sign. At 7 months, my Jack had NEVER STTN. He was still in his swing half the night. He just didn't have the self-soothing ability before then. Anna, on the other hand, STTN starting at 3 months pretty consistently. CIO with her was just to get her to go to sleep in the first place.

    Good luck! It's really hard, but I'm a big believer that it does work and makes for happier babies and families!
     
  11. kacy79

    kacy79 Active Member

    Did you do extinction or modified?

    Can someone elaborate on this? What book is this from?
     
  12. miss_bossy18

    miss_bossy18 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    QUOTE(kacy79 @ Jun 9 2009, 09:48 AM) [snapback]1347464[/snapback]
    Did you do extinction or modified?

    Can someone elaborate on this? What book is this from?


    i'm not sure if it's from one book in particular.

    but basically extinction just means that you do your bedtime routine, but the baby(ies) down in their crib & you don't go back until the next morning & you're ready to get them up for the day.

    modified (also sometimes called Ferber) is where you would go back at regular increasing intervals to check on baby(ies) - but you wouldn't pick them up. it's just a quick little check to make sure everything's okay.
     
  13. ambernruby

    ambernruby Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(Mom to Jack and Anna @ Jun 9 2009, 04:38 PM) [snapback]1347349[/snapback]
    Yeah, I don't know that you couldn't do it with night feeds. I just can't visualize how it would work. I will say that even after we thought we were done with night feeds, there were a couple times Jack would wake up just screaming and we'd spend forever trying to figure out what was going on only to finally wonder if he was hungry. Gave him a bottle, he devoured it like a starving man, and went right back to sleep. So, I guess the question is how you learn to tell the difference. Once you get through CIO, you kind of learn that it's unusual for them to be crying at a certain time and go check it out, and so you catch things like hunger and leg stuck in the crib. But the trouble is, what if they are genuinely hungry while you are doing CIO. Basically, you know your babies and whether they can make it through the night, what their self-soothing ability is, etc. The fact that they have STTN before is a good sign. At 7 months, my Jack had NEVER STTN. He was still in his swing half the night. He just didn't have the self-soothing ability before then. Anna, on the other hand, STTN starting at 3 months pretty consistently. CIO with her was just to get her to go to sleep in the first place.

    Good luck! It's really hard, but I'm a big believer that it does work and makes for happier babies and families!



    Thanx Rachael! I think i'm finding this difficult to actually do because i wasn't very much of a fan of this method, kinda feel guilty that there is no other way round this painful situation. I do know that all the pro's will make our family life but i'm not happy with having to let them go through all that.

    Maybe i should just go the whole hog and do CIO to eliminate night feedings too or would that be too cruel? i know they can both get through without a feed. It's just sometimes quicker and easier to feed them and put them back down or at least it was until Amber turned into a rock addict!

    Anyway thanx for your input it helps x
     
  14. becky5

    becky5 Guest

    QUOTE(mummy2ambernruby @ Jun 9 2009, 09:01 AM) [snapback]1347105[/snapback]
    Thats great becky thanx! So it looks like the younger they are the quicker they grasp it, with your boys anyway. Oh i need this to work!
    Sorry i forgot to put in the post did you let them CIO together?


    Yes, together.

    How much are they eating at night Liz? With younger babies I would hesitate to do CIO if they are still drinking full bottles at night, as they might need that nutrition.

    However, Justin was 9 months old, still drinking 2 FULL bottles at night, and the ped told me no way did he need it, so we did CIO. He was just waking to eat out of habit.

    Jake(CIO at 6 months) on the other hand was not waking to eat at all, just for a paci, like 10 times a night! Josh(CIO at 8 months) was only waking for a paci too, but often.

    The key is consistency. Once you make up your mind to do it, you can't go back, otherwise it's just like starting all over.
     
  15. rrodman

    rrodman Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(mummy2ambernruby @ Jun 9 2009, 02:31 PM) [snapback]1347639[/snapback]
    Thanx Rachael! I think i'm finding this difficult to actually do because i wasn't very much of a fan of this method, kinda feel guilty that there is no other way round this painful situation. I do know that all the pro's will make our family life but i'm not happy with having to let them go through all that.

    Maybe i should just go the whole hog and do CIO to eliminate night feedings too or would that be too cruel? i know they can both get through without a feed. It's just sometimes quicker and easier to feed them and put them back down or at least it was until Amber turned into a rock addict!

    Anyway thanx for your input it helps x


    I think we probably all feel guilty to a certain extent. After we did it though, no question in my mind that it was the best thing. And not just because I get to sleep. I saw a very noticeable change in DS - he was SUCH a happier little guy when he was STTN. Because of that, I ended up feeling guilty that I hadn't addressed the sleep issues better earlier.

    You have to make an independent decision on the night feedings. I will say that up until 9-10 months there would be odd nights about once a month when Jack would wake up screaming and end up devouring a bottle. Poor little guy was just starving! It happens, and it certainly didn't derail the STTN. On those nights, there is no way we could have not given him a bottle.
     
  16. ambernruby

    ambernruby Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(becky5 @ Jun 9 2009, 08:20 PM) [snapback]1347727[/snapback]
    Yes, together.

    How much are they eating at night Liz? With younger babies I would hesitate to do CIO if they are still drinking full bottles at night, as they might need that nutrition.

    However, Justin was 9 months old, still drinking 2 FULL bottles at night, and the ped told me no way did he need it, so we did CIO. He was just waking to eat out of habit.

    Jake(CIO at 6 months) on the other hand was not waking to eat at all, just for a paci, like 10 times a night! Josh(CIO at 8 months) was only waking for a paci too, but often.

    The key is consistency. Once you make up your mind to do it, you can't go back, otherwise it's just like starting all over.



    It really varies, whoever wakes usually takes about 4ounces maximum and the one that gets woken up by me will take 2 or 3. I really do think they can go without it, the nights they have slept through they will drink a full bottle the next day but with how things are now there morning bottle is only ever 3 ounces maximum.

    I know your right it's all or nothing. I don't know what else i can do? If they were just waking to eat fine but they don't want to go back to sleep or down at bedtime for that matter. They went to bed at 6.45pm, it's now 8.35pm and i am still going up and down the stairs to put them back to sleep every 20mins!?!?!
     
  17. ambernruby

    ambernruby Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(Mom to Jack and Anna @ Jun 9 2009, 08:37 PM) [snapback]1347742[/snapback]
    I think we probably all feel guilty to a certain extent. After we did it though, no question in my mind that it was the best thing. And not just because I get to sleep. I saw a very noticeable change in DS - he was SUCH a happier little guy when he was STTN. Because of that, I ended up feeling guilty that I hadn't addressed the sleep issues better earlier.

    You have to make an independent decision on the night feedings. I will say that up until 9-10 months there would be odd nights about once a month when Jack would wake up screaming and end up devouring a bottle. Poor little guy was just starving! It happens, and it certainly didn't derail the STTN. On those nights, there is no way we could have not given him a bottle.



    True, no Momma likes hearing their babies cry. I'm glad it had such a positive effect on him, Amber is a happy baby but she seems constantly tired.. forever rubbing her eyes and it isn't from lack of naps it's through being up all night.

    Yeah the nightfeeding issue is really bugging me i obviously don't want to starve them but i know that the sleep problems are more than just waking to eat. How do you think it would work if we were to feed just once in the night if they wake. Then put them back down and let them cio again if necessary?
     
  18. ambernruby

    ambernruby Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(miss_bossy18 @ Jun 9 2009, 04:01 PM) [snapback]1347290[/snapback]
    How old were your l/os when you did CIO? 3.5 months - totally not politically correct but it was the right choice for us. ;)

    How long did it take for it to work?
    it was about 3 nights of really intense crying & then a couple of weeks of hit or miss.

    How long did they cry for? the first night was for almost 2 hours, the second night for about 45 minutes & the third night was about 30 minutes.

    Did you do naps and bedtime or one or the other first?
    we did bedtime first. then a couple of weeks later we did their morning nap. then a couple of weeks after that we did their afternoon nap. we didn't really need to do anything for their catnap as by then they "got" it.

    Were you still doing night feeds?
    yes - we did a dreamfeed at around 10:30pm & then they woke on their own around 3:00am - 4:00am to nurse.

    Did you do extinction or modified? modified. although now, if we have to do any re-training, we just do extinction.

    I have 6 days where df will be here with me at night for support as of Friday. Do you think the babies can learn within 6days? It's just i would be a total loss at doing CIO on my own.
    i definitely think they can - especially if you're consistent, although do expect that you'll have off nights here & there for at least a couple of weeks. just make sure you have a game plan in place for how you'll deal with those & you'll be fine.

    Sorry i forgot to put in the post did you let them CIO together? we didn't - we seperated them for the first couple of weeks. because we were doing modified it made it much easier to tell who was crying when & for how long & who we still needed to check on (DH & i were each "assigned" a baby so it was a little simpler as well).


    Hey thanx for replying! So how did you go about nightfeedings while doing CIO?? Our still wake to eat and i'm not sure how i would handle deciding when to feed.
    Looking back do you wish you had just done extinction to begin with? TIA
     
  19. rrodman

    rrodman Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(mummy2ambernruby @ Jun 9 2009, 03:50 PM) [snapback]1347761[/snapback]
    True, no Momma likes hearing their babies cry. I'm glad it had such a positive effect on him, Amber is a happy baby but she seems constantly tired.. forever rubbing her eyes and it isn't from lack of naps it's through being up all night.

    Yeah the nightfeeding issue is really bugging me i obviously don't want to starve them but i know that the sleep problems are more than just waking to eat. How do you think it would work if we were to feed just once in the night if they wake. Then put them back down and let them cio again if necessary?


    I think it would work. It does sound like your sleep issues are not from wanting to eat but more just not wanting to sleep.
     
  20. ambernruby

    ambernruby Well-Known Member

    [quote name='CHJH' date='Jun 9 2009, 04:05 PM' post='1347296'

    Note: I slept in the basement because I was a total wimp. I let my husband hear the crying! We kept a journal and wrote down all the info because 5 minutes of crying feels like 5 hours if you don't really time it.
    [/quote]

    This is a good idea, it will put things into perspective when i'm in the thick of it.
     
  21. Rach28

    Rach28 Well-Known Member

    How old were your l/os when you did CIO?
    I only did CIO with DS. He was about 10 months old at the time.

    How long did it take for it to work?
    2 days

    How long did they cry for?
    The first time was just under an hour and he really went for it. The second time was for 30 mins. The third just 10 mins then hardly a wail.

    Did you do naps and bedtime or one or the other first?
    Naps as he was resisting them.

    Were you still doing night feeds?
    No

    Did you do extinction or modified?
    I did modified for first time I let him CIO. I went into him about 4 times and it just made it worse. I knew he was clean, not hungry, etc so in hindsight I should have just left him as the crying got worse each time I left. He cried for 30 mins after the last time I went to him.

    I have 6 days where df will be here with me at night for support as of Friday. Do you think the babies can learn within 6days?
    Definitely as long as you´re consistent!

    I was really worried he might have suffered in some way but he was perfectly fine. I hated listening to him cry, no mother likes that, but he was a happier baby as he was sleeping again. Now I dont ever have a problem as he knows there´s no use fighting it. GL!
     
  22. miss_bossy18

    miss_bossy18 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    QUOTE(mummy2ambernruby @ Jun 9 2009, 12:56 PM) [snapback]1347770[/snapback]
    Hey thanx for replying! So how did you go about nightfeedings while doing CIO?? Our still wake to eat and i'm not sure how i would handle deciding when to feed.
    Looking back do you wish you had just done extinction to begin with? TIA


    well, we sort of arbitrarily picked feeding times - we started with aprox every 3 hours (which worked out to 3 feedings a night). so if they woke within a half hour of those feeding times i would nurse them & put them back down. if they woke any other times, i would treat it as a "night waking" - we would wait 15 minutes before going in & then we would just pat & shush them for a minute, leave & repeat until they fell back asleep. it didn't take long for them to figure out the new routine which was good because it was really exhausting while we were doing it. and they also almost immediately dropped the middle of the night feeding so that we were only feeding them twice a night (dreamfeed at around 10:30pm & again around 3:00am - 4:00am). does that make sense?

    as for extinction, i'm glad we didn't do it to start as they were so little & it was reassuring to me to be able to go in & check on them. now, i know for sure that if we don't use extinction it's just confusing to them, so i don't have any qualms about just leaving them (although, it's pretty rare that we have to).
     
  23. seamusnicholas

    seamusnicholas Well-Known Member

    Here is my CIo story. Your questions are answered below...

    CIO:
    Around 5 1/2 months, I decided to try CIO. Before doing CIO, my boys would have their 7:00 bottle and then go to bed. Then they woke between 10-12am for another bottle AND then 2 times during the night. I came to the realization that they did not need to be eating that much at night anymore. They had 4 6-8 oz bottles during the day and solids twice a day. I finally realized they are eating out of habit and I could not do it anymore physically. My boys are big boys and were in no way lacking nutrition!

    I decided that I would give them one bottle each after their 7:00 bottle if they woke up crying and then if they cried anytime after that, I just let them cry. We did that for about 2 weeks. After the first night of not feeding them after their last late night bottle, during the day they began to drink 8 oz consistently rather than sometimes 5 oz. Then, after those two weeks, we did a true CIO after their 7:00 bottle to eliminate all night feedings. They cried a little during the night but I just left them and they ended up sleeping anywhere between 6-7. When they woke in the morning, they were happy and not crying of hunger. That proved to me that they were eating out of habit.

    So officially, I would say 6 months and 1 week until completely sleeping throught the night.

    Also interesting was that I have heard if they wake to eat even if it is just a little, it is out of habit. My boys though were eating a lot at night. Well, I stopped feeding them anyways. My boys were in the higher weight percentile and my Dr. said they wont turn into skeletons if I didnt feed them in the middle of the night! So, even though my boys drank full bottles at night, with a few days of CIO, they didnt wake to eat anymore.
    -------------------------
    Here are notes from my journal during this time:

    On Tues, when they usually wake for their 1st middle of the night feeding, I let them CIO. I did not feel bad at all when I heard them cry. THis is because I knew they just ate and diaper changed. One slept right through the others cry and then the next hour the reverse happened. I also did not feel bad because I made the decision to CIO because I was so tired and it felt great to not get up and get a bottle! They basically cried on and off throughout the night.

    The next night, they slept until 4 (huge for us!) and then I had them CIO. They woke at 6:00 and were ready for their bottle. The good thing is they ate 4 8oz bottles that day. They had room since they were not getting calories at night.

    Last night they woke at 5:30 and i had them CIO until 6:00.

    -----------------------------------------------
    We never went in to sooth them. I always felt like that would be taking a step backwards and they would expect me to come in when they cried. I wanted them to teach themselves how to fall asleep on their own and how to go back to sleep on their own after waking inthe middle of the night.

    They sleep through each others cry to this day.
     
  24. becky5

    becky5 Guest

    Liz, your babies sound like Jake. He wasn't really hungry, just wanted his paci, and it was 10 times a night. :faint: At 6 months, I just couldn't do it anymore. He was miserable, I was miserable, and so we did CIO. Once he was sleeping through he was like a different baby. So much less fussy!

    I think if I were you, I would just go for it. They will most likely make up the oz's they used to eat at night, during the day.
     
  25. ambernruby

    ambernruby Well-Known Member

    Thanx everyone, really appreciate it.

    Well after another hellish night with them lastnight my DARLING FIANCE has taken the next 2 nights off work sick to help get the girls trained, meaning i now have his support for 8 days insted of 6 if we start this evening so please wish us lots of luck!!

    DF thinks we should just pick 2 times we will respond to feed ONLY no rocking to sleep but i'm thinking maybe we should cut it back to 1? We normally do a dreamfeed and then one 4-6 hrs after that and we rock them countless times in between. What do you girlies think?


    Anyway thankyou all so much for your sharing your experiences it has helped clear up a few things that were worrying me. Just hope my babbas still feel loved in the morning :unsure:
     
  26. becky5

    becky5 Guest

    What time do you put them down, and what time is their dreamfeed? What time do they get up for the day?

    Of course your babies will still feel loved. And they will probably be much happier with more, unbroken periods of sleep!
     
  27. rrodman

    rrodman Well-Known Member

    I would do just one feeding overnight at this age, but you could start with two and then wean them back. Also, if you are having paci issues, what we do is put lots in the crib with Jack. So, he goes to bed with like 5 pacis and can always find one. If he can't, he has taken to sucking on a blanket. Funny little guy. But the point is that he deals with it himself and goes back to sleep.

    Your babies will still greet you with a smile in the morning. Here's how I thought of it - how well would you sleep if you had to scream your head off for someone to come help you fall back asleep every time you stirred? Not well, right? It's essential that they learn to soothe themselves back to sleep without intervention so that they can develop good sleep habits for life.
     
  28. ambernruby

    ambernruby Well-Known Member

    Sorry Becky, we were up at 7 this morning, last bottle will be 5.30, then i have recently started squeezing in a bowl of banana cereal between them and in bed at 6.30. We used to wake them at 10 to dreamfeed but the last 2 weeks we have been letting them tell us and it varies between 10 and 12.

    Rachael i like the paci idea for Ruby, Amber isn't much of a paci fan just a pick me up and rock me now kind of girl lol She does like to suck on her hands so i'm hoping she uses them. They have been swaddled with 1 arm out but we are going the whole hog and put them in there grobags (which they have only ever had 1/2 hr naps in) tonight so there will be no restrictions. Do you think i should leave them with stuffed toy or not?

    I know this has to be done i just wish it didn't have to come to this, suppose i'm selfishly feeling abit woah ways me about us going through it but i need to snap out of it for later or i will fail at the first wail. Thankgod for DF!!!!
     
  29. rrodman

    rrodman Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(mummy2ambernruby @ Jun 10 2009, 11:40 AM) [snapback]1348714[/snapback]
    Sorry Becky, we were up at 7 this morning, last bottle will be 5.30, then i have recently started squeezing in a bowl of banana cereal between them and in bed at 6.30. We used to wake them at 10 to dreamfeed but the last 2 weeks we have been letting them tell us and it varies between 10 and 12.

    Rachael i like the paci idea for Ruby, Amber isn't much of a paci fan just a pick me up and rock me now kind of girl lol She does like to suck on her hands so i'm hoping she uses them. They have been swaddled with 1 arm out but we are going the whole hog and put them in there grobags (which they have only ever had 1/2 hr naps in) tonight so there will be no restrictions. Do you think i should leave them with stuffed toy or not?

    I know this has to be done i just wish it didn't have to come to this, suppose i'm selfishly feeling abit woah ways me about us going through it but i need to snap out of it for later or i will fail at the first wail. Thankgod for DF!!!!


    I don't know if I'd do the stuffed toy. At this age, it's probably not really going to be a comfort object for them, and probably better safe than sorry as far as stuffed animals in the crib. I can't remember when mine started sleeping with something. We have these little 6 inch square blankets that they might have had by 6 months. Just can't remember.

    I didn't swaddle much past 1-2 weeks, so I'm no help there!

    Good luck! This is something that basically all of us have dealt with on some level (even if you don't do CIO - it's rare to have 2 babies magically STTN without intervention at some point!)
     
  30. miss_bossy18

    miss_bossy18 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    QUOTE(mummy2ambernruby @ Jun 10 2009, 08:40 AM) [snapback]1348714[/snapback]
    I know this has to be done i just wish it didn't have to come to this, suppose i'm selfishly feeling abit woah ways me about us going through it but i need to snap out of it for later or i will fail at the first wail. Thankgod for DF!!!!


    :hug: one quick tip i wanted to add is that when you're listening to them cry & thinking "god, something must be really wrong - i HAVE to go in there!" (which will happen) try to take a step back & think rationally. i had a little check list i went through - i knew they were fed & changed so that wasn't the problem, i would think about the day just past to see if there were any signs of illness or teething (because it's pretty unlikely that they would spontaneously develop teething pain at bed time if they'd been fine all day, KWIM?), i would remind myself that they were just a) protesting the new routine & b) needing to learn how to do it themselves & then i would envision how nice it would be to be able to have a short & sweet bedtime routine every night & know that i wasn't going to be tied up for hours rocking or nursing or replacing pacis. usually by then i had talked myself down. ;) if that doesn't work take a shower! :hug: good luck tonight & KUP.
     
  31. ambernruby

    ambernruby Well-Known Member

    You guys are my ROCK!!!

    Well day 1 of CIO has begun and i am so proud of how they handled it, i think i was more hysterical than them!

    Amber the worse sleeper out of the two cried for 35mins on and off then slept for 1hr, she has just woke up again crying.

    Ruby slept after 45 mins then woke 20 mins in and is now up whimpering again with her sister, this is the hardest thing we have ever done :cry: i'm hoping they settle back down again soon, it sounds like somebody is getting killed.

    Thanx for sharing your checklist, i will be borrowing it! So far the only good to come out of all this is that i now have a sparkly new kitchen again, sad i know.
     
  32. ambernruby

    ambernruby Well-Known Member

    Well it has been 52minutes and Amber is still going for it, i can't beleive it. DF is basically pinning me down here, i'm not sure i can let her go on like this much longer it is killing me and it sounds like someone is killing her
     
  33. miss_bossy18

    miss_bossy18 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    QUOTE(mummy2ambernruby @ Jun 10 2009, 01:01 PM) [snapback]1349056[/snapback]
    Well it has been 52minutes and Amber is still going for it, i can't beleive it. DF is basically pinning me down here, i'm not sure i can let her go on like this much longer it is killing me and it sounds like someone is killing her


    :hug: stay strong! how're things going now?
     
  34. sandygilpn

    sandygilpn Well-Known Member

    Good luck! I just started CIO at naps with one of my girls (long story for another post) but I can already see the difference, and it's carrying over into bedtime with her as well, so when we start CIO at bedtime hopefully it won't be too bad. Keep it up--you will see a difference, and then you will be so proud of yourself and your LO's! I always tell my LO after nap how proud I am of her, and she is very happy and smiley, so they will absolutely still love you. :hug:
     
  35. ambernruby

    ambernruby Well-Known Member

    :hug: poor baby dropped off 20m ago, she cried hard for 1hr 10m, i knew 35m crying at bedtime was just too easy!
    I'm planning on going to bed now and if they wake for a feed around midnight i will feed then and only then. Should i prepare myself for frequent nightwakings and hr long crying sessions tonight?

    I feel like the worst Mother in the world at the minute, hope this gets easier. I didn't realise babies could cry so hard, even when they had colick i don't remember the crying being this bad. Love my babies so much and after listening to them in despair it makes me think that maybe exhaustion might be worth it.

    Spoke to soon Ruby has now started up again :cry:
     
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