sooner or later they do everything on their own

I have 3 year old twins...and after struggling with schedules, what to do, what not to do, etc, I have learned that sooner or later
they do things when they are ready and on their own... ok..with a little help, but THEY DO show signs! Even though you might not
know what signs to look for :0)

1- Reflux...Thought it would last forever...it didn't... I even took ds off meds because they weren't doing anything. DD had medicine
and did fine, and after about 7-8 months it was all done!

2- Sleeping thorough the night- After playing around with bottle times...and my exhaustion, they slept through the night
at about 6 months. (7-6)

3. Crawling.. DD took longer... almost 1 year...went to phisical therapy just to "unlock her" and do some excercises, when
she was ready, she just took off. Same thing with walking...one day she got up and just started to walk, at about 16 months.

4. Not knowing weather they are not hungry or don't like the food. That was tough with ds...picky eater, still is...just
give it time...eventually they will talk or do sign language....that helped. They ate better from 1 -2...now they eat
what they want (ok I give healthy options, but they go to the fridge and get it themeselves . If they are not hungry
for dinner, I just give them milk with cereal...they'll eat better in the morning. Limit snacks.

5. Pacifiers...I thought naps would end with that..they didn't. Tried cutting once, NIGHTMARE. Waiting a little longer...
They only used it for naps and night time since they were a little over a year. They put them away themeselves before
getting when they got out of the cribs. One day, while on vacation, my ds accidently drop his in the toilet and it got
flushed away...5 min. later I told my dd to do the same (they were almost 3). They talked how now the fish had them, and
only babies had them... They did cry a little (5 min tops), but went swimming and got distracted. They continued
to talk about it between them, but that was the END OF IT! I actually felt a ittle sad throwing the rest of them away! :0)

6. Potty training. That was stressfull just because all they wanted to do was play in the bathroom wash their hands, etc.
But by the time they were ready all that had passed. I thought I would live in the bathroom or finding one when we were out...not
true... they hold it for about 3 hours
Started when they were about 2 1/2. DS was first, even though everyone says girls start first. Then one day, dd woke
up in the morning and told me that diapers were for babies (they were about 2 3/4). We had 1 week of accidents..maybe
once or twice a day. And after about 1 month they were trained at night also...on their own. I ended up using the day pull ups
for night time since I had a lot left over. Pull ups don't really worked for us during the day. If they had them on, they
would pee on them. Going standing up... just spent time with their older boys cousins and learned that on their own :-0)

7. Talking... they do go for speech and that is the best thing I have done. Gave me some one on one time with them when the
speech therapist came home and now they go to pre-school for speech (ds qualified for just 1 point) and I LOVE the school.
They work on many things beyond speech, motor skills, etc. they are even learning how to write!!! Since they are with
kids from 3-5 they are learning from older kids as well. GREAT PROGRAM. I'm actually glad they qualified! They also do
go to another regular preschool.

8. Tantrums. Specially ds. Drove me nuts! But that was mostly out of frustration for not being able to express himself from
about 2 to 2 1/2...rough months. But once he started to talk more it all came down. That was when they were really began
to play more with each other and had tons of fun together.

9. Biting....oh.. dd was bad!!! Nothing seemed to work, until one day she got suspended from a drop off program. Turned out
it was the same day she had the child find evaluation. She kept telling the evaluators how she couldn't go play because
she bit. THAT WAS IT! Never thought that would have an impact on her, but that was what worked with her! Ocassionaly she bit,
but then we talked...and said the consequences and it stopped. Never thought it would....

Now ofcourse there are other challanges...they have their own opinions...own schedules...ds is an early bird, dd is a night
owl, nothing I can do to change that. Some days they nap, some days they don't..but we still have quiete time... More a relaxation
for me It took me 3 years to figure that they do things on their own when they are ready..but at the end it all works out.

GOOD LUCK and they DO GROW SO FAST! It does get easier, but I think that is because now they go to school so I get a brake!
Hope it gave you some hope!

 

Thank you, just what I needed today! I am printing this out and keeping it on the fridge.

 

You are very welcome...
I forgot the best part... After 3 years of watching many of my singleton frinds have it "easier" with
their only child, now, they are having the second one, starting all over again, lack of sleep, dealing
with the older one adjusting to having a sibling, etc. They drop
one in school but still have to carry around and have no free time with the second one.
I on the other hand, get to drop both kids kidds off and have some "free time" Yeeeiii!!!!!

I can go anywhere with them (traveled twice by plane alone and had a great time with them), go
to any public even (car show, air show, restaurants, etc, even stayed at hotels with them!)
It really just gets better and the joy of watching them play together and learn from
each other PRICELESS

 

Awww, thank you so much for taking the time to write this, I so needed to hear that. We are going through a teething related stage, or who knows what? But it's like they are taking turns waking up at night, so I am so thankful to read this .

Have a nice day,

Monica

 

Thank you :ibiggrin:

 

This is sooo true!! Thank you for writing this. I had this realization when I was trying to get my boys to drink out of the sippy cups instead of the bottle. I thought they would never do it - and I made myself crazy - and then just one day they did it! It's been like that with everything - similar to your experiences - crawling, walking, talking, using utensils. I guess it's all about letting go the control that we think we have as parents

 

A few more to add...

My poor dog didn't not have access to food or water unless the kiddos were sleeping. I know you are suppoused to
teach them to not touch, etc, but I got tired of cleaning up the mess.

After about 2 1/2, they decided to leave the dog's food alone or pick up her food bowl after she is done
eating (dd who always helps clean up!) And no more mess with the water. Worth the wait

What to do for dinner? Open the closet or the fridge and they grab what they want to it or me to cook (not
always accept what they ask for, but I do give them choices)

Watching tv- or the one of the biggest debate.
DS likes to watch more tv than dd. I tought him how to use the remote so he can pick what to watch (we have ruku)
I got tired of trying to guess what he wanted to watch. About tv time, between school, playdates, playing outside,
reading books, etc. it automoatically got reduced to watching tv early in the mornin and before dinner,
on average, less than 2 hours a day. Plus, they get bored after watching one show... so no reason to
to worrie about excessive tv watching.

Going out alone with them. Always did it, and after 2, even traveled by plane, go out to eat, go to public events, pool, beach, etc,
I basically do anything with the. Of course having dh is always easier, but I love to feel like I am not limited
to doing things only when I have someone else. In th beginning I used the backpaks (monkey and doug), in public places,
mostly for ds who rans away. DD ended up holding him Now they play with it around the house :-0) But I'm ready
to pass it on.

Stroller and travel. It's in the garage somewhere... keep it for trips (Like Disney). Honestly, they either
push the stroller or use it when they are tired to fall asleep or eat snacks.We even went on a 2 week road trip
and did not bring the stroller. Everyone thought we were crazy about such a long road trip. It went great and
would do it again in heart beat. The DVD player broke the first day and didn't get one until 5 days later
(we were in remote mountain places). No problem at all, they were busy looking at cows, horses, etc.
They were even potty trained before the trip, - not by my choice-. I expcected very frequent and false alarms.
Not the case. Bought a portable potty and they asked to go potty whenever we stopped for gas, food, etc.

Conclusion- Easier said that done but try no stress out about things, things just work out. Things get easier
when you get more experience. Have fun and you will feel so proud of yourself and your kids!