Something to hopefully make you FY moms have a laugh

Hey FY mommies. When I was in my first year, my friend sent this in an email to me and I swear I never laughed so hard. I literally had tears pouring out of my eyes. Hope you enjoy!!

Sleep Training...

OK, here's my situation. My Mommy has had me for
almost 7 months. The first few months were great--
I cried, she picked me up and fed me,
anytime, day or night. Then something happened.
Over the last few weeks, she has been trying to
STTN (sleep thru the night).
At first, I thought it was just a phase, but it is only
getting worse. I've talked to other babies, and it seems like it's
pretty common after Mommies have had us for around 6 months.

Here's the thing: these Mommies don't really need
to sleep. It's just a habit. Many of them have had some 30 years to
sleep--they just don't need it anymore. So I am implementing a
plan. I call it the Crybaby Shuffle.

It goes like this:

Night 1--cry every 3 hours until you get fed.
I know it's hard. It's hard to see your Mommy upset over your crying.
Just keep reminding yourself, it's for her own good.

Night 2--cry every 2 hours until you get fed.

Night 3--every hour.

Most Mommies will start to respond more quickly
after about 3 nights.
Some Mommies are more alert, and may resist the
change longer. These Mommies may stand in your doorway for hours,
shhhh-ing. Don't give in. I cannot stress this enough: CONSISTENCY IS
KEY!!
If you let her STTN (sleep through the night), just once, she
will expect it every night. I KNOW IT'S HARD! But she really does not
need the sleep, she is just resisting the change.

If you have an especially alert Mommy, you can
stop crying for about 10 minutes,
just long enough for her to go back
to bed and start to fall asleep.
Then cry again. It WILL eventually
work. My Mommy once stayed awake for 10 hours straight,
so I know she can do it.

Last night, I cried every hour. You just have to
decide to stick to it and just go for it.
BE CONSISTENT! I cried for any
reason I could come up with. My sleep sack tickled my foot. I
felt a wrinkle under
the sheet. My mobile made a shadow on the wall. I
burped, and it tasted like pears.
I hadn't eaten pears since lunch,
what's up with that?
The cat said "meow". I should know. My
Mommy reminds me of this about 20 times a day. LOL.
Once I cried just because I liked how it
sounded when it echoed on the monitor in the
other room. Too hot, too
cold, just right--doesn't matter! Keep crying!!

It took awhile, but it worked. She fed me at 4am.
Tomorrow night, my goal is 3:30am.
You need to slowly shorten the
interval between feedings in order to reset your Mommies' internal
clocks.

P.S. Don't let those rubber things fool you, no matter how long you suck on them, no milk will come out. Trust me.

 

:rotflmbo: ROFLMAO!!! OMG! This is the funniest thing EVER! :rotflmbo: Thank you so much for posting it!

 

You know - I can really picture the boys saying these things. I always wondered what they were grunting and umping about to each other - now I know. That was hilarious.

 

OMG Melanie! That is the funniest thing ever! :rotflmbo:

 

This may be the one thing that could make me smile at 2am tomorrow morning when Jack is fussing every 20 minutes...Thank you!

 

:rotflmbo: :rotflmbo: :rotflmbo:

I swear the girls are plotting against me some days. They are babbling away in their cribs and I walk in and they stop and look at me like "You didn't hear anything!"

 

oh that was hilarious! thank you for posting and making me laugh so hard!

 

OMG that is hilarious!!! This part ... "I burped, and it tasted like pears. I hadn't eaten pears since lunch, what's up with that?
The cat said "meow". I should know. My Mommy reminds me of this about 20 times a day. LOL" brought tears to my eyes b/c I was laughing so hard. Thanks for posting!

 

Thanks a lot!!!! Now I am afraid of them. I was so looking forward to them SSTN!! LOL!!!

 

funny funny funny! I'm so glad my girls STTN! Thanks for the laugh!

 

LMBO!! :rotflmbo: :rotflmbo: I KNEW they were in there talking about something!! Oh I loved that, thank you!

 

Dax totally wrote this.

 

:rofl: Great stuff! Thanks!