Some cheese with that whine buddy?

Okay my boys are around 13 mos. now and have always been perfect angels (as all of you feel about yours, I'm sure.) Anyway, one of my sons has become such a whiner over the past few weeks. He pulls one of those fake cries when the least little thing doesn't go his way - when I'm changing his diaper, if his toy gets knocked over, if I don't feed him fast enough, etc.

My M.O. so far has just been to ignore the behavior so he learns that it's not effective, but I'm open to other suggestions. It can really make for a long day!

Is this just my introduction to toddlerhood?? Say it ain't so!

 

Welcome to toddlerhood! Sorry to tell ya that the definition of a toddler is whining!! He is probably frustrated that he can't tell you what he wants. Until he learns the words, whinning it is! I know it makes for a VERY long day!!! Best of luck!

 

We're right there too. 13 mos. and one MAJOR whiner. He gets mad at toys, throws temper tantrums if I try to change/dress him (that has gotten better). I've even had to make a mad dash out of the store (leaving full cart behind ) because of his antics.

In hopes of giving him some communication tools before he's verbal, we started signing with them about a month ago. So far they love to watch the signs and are very aware that it's communication. They are understanding what I mean when I make the signs but they haven't made any yet. Well, Joe actually makes the sign for "Dog", but he doesn't actually do it when a dog appears...he just likes that sign. When it comes on the DVD he goes wild signing dog dog dog dog dog. Then in the car, dog dog dog dog dog. I wondered if he just was floppin' around and I was interpreting it as the sign, so I tried it and he imitated it. Guess he's asking for a dog already.

 

I would love to tell you that the whining gets better, but I can't. DS is a major whiner and it is something we struggle with on a daily basis.

 

I found 12-13+ mos. to be very whiney and clingy!! They'll get better, I swear!!!

 

13 months here and a whiner too. He especially whines when my oldest just looks at him. Isn't it funny how fast they could shut it off too. It drives my husband crazy. My oldest was such a great baby and he thinks thats the way every baby should be (NOT).

Cari

 

Same here-especially my son...whines ALOT! MAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA is his favorite. Although I love to hear him say Mama, I'll pass on the whiney part. Glad to hear it's not just my little guy doing it. Just in the past month or so both my babies also throw a big fit every time they get their diaper changed or have to get dressed. By the time I'm done with changes, I've usually worked up a sweat trying to turn them over and get the new diaper on :aggressive:

 

It is kind of inevitable, but it seems to get a little better when they learn to communicate more.

Sometimes you do just have to ignore it. But I also try to remember that she (usually Sarah -- Amy doesn't whine as much) is really trying to tell me something. It would be really frustrating to be trying to tell your mommy something and have her not only not understand, but also just ignore you. So I try to find a balance of helping her communicate while not teaching her that whining works. (I'm not sure I've found that balance yet, though!)

If it's something we can't do anything about (i.e., diaper changing, getting in the carseat, etc.) then I try to talk them through it. Making them feel like they're doing it voluntarily also helps a lot -- even though it can take longer that way. For instance, rather than taking a toy away, I tell them to put the toy on the toy shelf, then praise them for helping me. Or, when it's time to change a diaper, I invite them to choose one toy to play with while I change them. Recently I've even been allowing Amy to try climbing into her carseat by herself (though she's never made it).

If I have no idea what they're protesting/whining about, I get down on their level and ask them to sign, say the word (if they know it), point, etc. If I figure it out, I verbalize it: "Oh, you were upset because you wanted your hat!" I hope this will eventually show them that saying "hat! hat!" is more useful than saying "aaaaahhhh!!!!"

And sometimes they just whine, despite all this. Then I do ignore it, but sometimes I even tell them I'm going to ignore it: "I don't know what you're asking for and I don't think you need anything, so I can't help you right now."

Sorry so long -- I got most of these techniques from other people, so I thought I might as well pass them on, in case someone else finds them helpful!

 

It's here... and it's here to stay...for at least a little while... Whining has been one of the most challenging areas of discipline that I have had to deal with...and I have yet to find a good way to deal with it. we do spank over discipline issues...but whining is one of those borderline things that I can't really spank over in most situations. So instead I try to train my kids to realize that mommy will not respond well to whining.. . If they want something they need to ask "nicely." Especially for my older dd, who is almost four, again and again I remind her that "no I will not go get you milk...or food or whatever..." Not while she is whining at me... I encourage her to say things like "mommy may I please have some milk." etc.. before I will respond. It's challenging though to get her to remember this. When the whining turns into an all out fit, that's when I discipline...my kids are not allowed to throw fits...it doesn't matter whether the fit is "justified" or not.... and I must say that while my kids still whine, we see very little all out tantrums here... occasional tears and pouting, but I can't remember the last time my older dd had a throw-myself-on-the-floor fit...and my twins really have followed suit, they don't throw fits like this b/c they know it results in a spanking, and they don't get what they were after regardless... Now...to get rid of the whining... It's funny how kids know where the line is...just close enough, but not crossing it....

 

Yep, welcome to the club. It comes and goes in phases. Amber is the worst of my two. She's does the whole fall on the floor and scooch across floor on her back thing by pushing off with her feet while she "cries". Quite entertaining. She's better but still as bad just doesn't scooch across the floor now adays. Emily has begun the whole whining thing now too. I've a feeling that between now and 3 they'll have to either up my dose of Lexapro or put me on something else. They shot my nerves with all of it last night. I've got to take up yoga or some sort of relaxation therapy otherwise I don't know how I'll survive the 2s

 

i've gotta whiner too... i just have to remind her to use her happy voice. I role play it alot what she should sound like. I praise her for using her happy voice, and have her re-state what she needs/wants in a non-crying way. she is already talking in sentences so it helps that she communicates well. even when she was non-verbal, I did tell her, "You shouldn't cry, you should smile and say, Please mommy, can you help me? and I will be glad to help." Then I would say it for her, and help her or give her whatever she needed/wanted.

believe me, have an escape plan in place so that when you need to escape the whining you will be able to do so.
HTH

 

I'm waiting for a magic pill too. Mine are almost 2 and a half and they still whine. I am one the verge of a break down, let me tell you. Do we have a pulling hair out of head smiley?