Soldier On

Just thought I'd take a few minutes to offer some experiences I've recently had while breastfeeding that may encourage others to soldier on when the deck seems stacked against you.

You may or may not recall that my twins were born extremely early and without reiterating the whole story, breastfeeding did not go very well. I did pump for my boys for nearly 8 months (while supplementing). Looking back, I now realize that many of the obstacles were mind over matter. The mind is a very, very powerful thing and I have been shown that again recently as I'll explain in a moment.

With my new baby I was determined to EBF. Sounds easy, right?
Enter obstacle #1. LO was born tongue-tied. The nurses and LC's immediately recommended that I use a nipple shield because of this, which I did, and LO and I worked for many weeks (including when his tongue-tie was corrected) to overcome this obstacle. I was told multiple times that tongue-tied babies have a difficult time latching, may not get enough milk, may need to be supplemented, etc. I sought out a LC and was determined that this obstacle would not derail us. And, so it did not.
Enter obstacle #2. A raging case of mastitis. I was very disappointed (and sick!) when this struck when LO was about 3 weeks old. As anyone who has experienced mastitis knows, it is very painful to continue putting the baby to breast when your breast is throbbing. I kept going though, putting LO to the affected breast even more until it finally cleared up. To date (fingers crossed), it has not recurred. During the worst of it, LO had a pediatrician appt. I mentioned my mastitis to the nurse there who went on to taut all of the benefits of formula-feeding to me and assured me that I shouldn't feel badly at all if I couldn't continue BF. I did continue.
Enter obstacle #3. This was far and away the biggest obstacle. After several uneventful weeks of BF, all three of my boys contracted RSV last week. I don't have to explain the misery of this to anyone who has BTDT. We are still recovering, but my little guy had to be hospitalized for 3 days due to an inability to clear the loads of mucous occluding his breathing. I thought this for sure would be the end of BF for us. Within a day I went from BFing my LO in the warmth and comfort of our home to pumping in a cold, dark hospital room. It was awful. The 3 days were so incredibly stressful that my supply dropped by more than half. I know this because I do pump on occasion and it is not unusual for me to get 10 oz. Last Friday, I could only get 4 oz. This is what I referred to above. I was so overwhelmed by stress that my milk supply was reduced by more than half in less than a day. Wow. What else does stress do to our bodies??? Anyway, I stayed with LO for nearly 20 hours a day only coming home to get the most minimal sleep and tend to my other boys who were with DH (and getting sick themselves). I waited for the very moment that I was told I could BF again (they held me off for >12 hours--tried to hold me off even longer). I pumped for those 12 hours. When I did get LO back on I sat in a hospital chair with him on my chest for hours letting him nurse at will and trying to build my supply back up to normal. It took a few days, but I'm happy to say we're nearly back on track. I was so scared I'd have to supplement or that I'd never get back to where I was supply-wise.

So, I write this not at all to pat myself on the back--although I do feel pretty happy about what we've overcome.
I write this because I want to say that so much of the breastfeeding relationship is mind over matter.
For many, there will be hardships, but your supply WILL respond the way you want it to as long as you believe in it and work for it.
Your LO will respond the way you want him/her to as long as you work for it.
You can have a successful breastfeeding experience if you really want to (I mean no offense to those who may have a situation that truly precludes BFing).
I've never felt more strongly that where there is a WILL, there is a WAY!

 

Yep, that's a lot of big obstacles. Great job on persevering!!! And I do think it's a great example to other moms! I remember going to an appt when my girlies were babies and having a nurse be shocked that I was even attempting to nurse both babies because she didn't know any other twin moms who had. But I'd met some at a MoMs group and had TS to tell me it was possible. And when I had to supplement for Sabrina I had the support here to tell me to trust my instincts and do what was best for my baby, and to cheer me on for all that I was doing! Great job and thanks for posting about all your struggles.

 

Oh, and I wanted to add that I'm really sorry you guys are going through RSV! I hope everyone heals pretty quickly!