so worried, it's hard to be excited...

I have had three successful pregnancies, one of which resulted in twins, but I have also had two pregnancies end in loss. One at 17 weeks, and one at 12. I hadn't had any bleeding or cramping, I just went in for an ultrasound, and found no heart beat, both times. Now the only time I am comfortable in thinking everything is okay is while I am having an ultrasound, and maybe for about a day afterward. I have been pretty nauseous, but anytime the nausea eases up, I can't enjoy the break because I get scared that something has gone wrong. I can't think about names. I can't tell my older kids or other family or friends, because I don't want to have to tell them if something goes wrong.
If anyone has any words of encouragement, I would really appreciate it. I know this is going to be our last baby, and I would really like to enjoy this pregnancy, but it is just so hard.
Thank you.

 

I hear you about wanting to enjoy the pregnancy but also having worries! How far along are you? I wonder if it will get easier as you get past those certain weeks when you had your losses. This is far from the same, but I keep worrying with every ultrasound that I will get put on bed rest again...I'm hoping with time that I will get more confidence that this is a different pregnancy. Anyhow, I hope that it gets easier and that you have a long and uneventful pregnancy!

 

I completely understand how you feel, I had 2 older kids, then 2 miscarriages (found out by ultrasound as well), and then my twins. It's hard not to feel worried and anxious. And as each milestone would pass I felt a little bit better. 12 wks, 18 wks, 24 wks, 28 wks, 32 wks....after that I knew if they did come early they would just spend some NICU time and be ok.

For me, what got me through, was praying about it. I realize that doesn't apply to everyone. But our faith in God is what got us through our infertility, our miscarriages, and my twin pregnancy. Whenever I was worried, I prayed for peace, and it always came through.

I hope you can find something that will work for you to help ease the anxiety and calm your fears, at least for a little while. :hug:

 

I lost 2 before my twins, and found out the same way with the first one. I was 14 weeks and so happy to have my morning sickness end early, only to find out that the baby wasn't alive anymore. I felt so guilty for feeling that about the MS. So with both of my next pregnancies, I was in this horrid cycle of miserable morning sickness or complete dread when I was feeling ok. I think it was about 20 weeks or so when I started to ease up on the worry and enjoy things a little more. Of course there were other worries with the girlies and 9 weeks on bedrest for PTL, but at least I was far enough along to feel like there was a good chance that things would work out ok.

 

I will be 12 weeks on Saturday. I'm hoping if everything is okay at my Feb 2 appt, I'll start to feel better. At that point I'll be almost 14 weeks. I think the 12 week area is the hard part for me. I lost one there, and with the 17 week loss, they said it looked like the baby had started having trouble around 12 weeks.
Here's to uneventful pregnancy for me and no bed rest for you!

 

Thank you for your responses! I hope this starts to go a little faster. 6 1/2 more months is a very long time!!

 

I can relate! My first pregnancy was a m/c at 10.5 weeks. Then It took 14 months to get pregnant and I was worried all the time. It also took over 9 weeks pregnant to get a + pregnancy test and that was a blood test. Then I was worried with my second and then with my twins as I just felt sick all the time and couldn't eat or keep anything down. Then April 2008 came and I got a bfp at the beginning of the month and by the end I was told I would m/c. I did and even though I was told to wait 2-3 cycles after my dh and I didn't and we tried those 8 cycles and finally got pregnant just before Christmas and got a bfp on New Year's Day 2009 at 11 dpo. I worried constantly! At first because of not having m/s. Then because my bloating started to go away. Finally it was because I had bleeding and spotting. Turned out to be from a subchorionic hematoma that cleared itself up very quickly. By my 3 trimester I was worried because my twins gave me Fifth Disease and it can cause anemia to unborn babies and they would need blood transfusions if it got too severe. Luckily he was fine despite 2 scares during those last 10 weeks of pregnancy. He is now a happy, healthy 2 year old.

Any way going back to being scared and wanting to enjoy the pregnancy. I will be worried when I finally get pregnant again as I had a loss just in March.

GL to you and I hope all is all right with your bean!