So, what ARE the rules?

Not to long ago there was a thread on this board about breaking the rules. (I loved it, btw.) There were quite a few people that posted the rules they break. As I read it I noticed that someone would say "I broke this rule by doing this or that" and then someone else would say "I broke this rule by NOT doing (the same thing the other person said)". This got me to wondering.

Ladies? Are there really any rules? If so, what are they?

 

I'm not sure there are hard set rules, but more like doctor recommendations. I have a pedi that I really trust. If she suggests something, I do it.

 

i think rules are made to be broken!

honestly? i agree with PP - you gotta find a doc you trust & then follow their recommendations/suggestions. anything else, you figure out by trial & error & finding what works for your family.

 

I think at times rules are just a guide! Nobody is the same and no situation is exactly the same so you have to adjust according to what you need. I think most people should go by a combination of your feeling, mom or grandmother advice, other mom advice and ofcourse your doctors advice!

Life is a learning process!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I think the only rule to parenting is to take care of your children to the best of your ability. Oh, and don't get in the car and drive away when they are pissing you off!

 

I just go by whatever is posted here on Twinstuff :lol:

I think the biggest thing is to follow your instincts. Your baby is not "textbook" and nobody else's is either.

 

QUOTE(TwinsInFL @ May 12 2009, 08:56 PM) [snapback]1310574[/snapback]
I think the biggest thing is to follow your instincts. Your baby is not "textbook" and nobody else's is either.


I totally agree! As mothers, we are often right about our babies and I think that´s the number one rule!

 

i tend to get hung up on "rules" and worry that i'm doing things wrong. but the truth is (and i remind myself of this often) rules are mostly important to the people who spout them. according to some people the RULE is that you don't start solids before 6 months. to others the RULE is that you can start at 4 months. which rule is right? both? neither?

basically the only difference between a rule and advice is whether or not it sounds like there's a frown and a wagging finger attached.

 

For me, the rules are to not do anything that may cause your child harm. Otherwise, go with your instincts.

 

There are no rules. Not even "cause harm" because different cultures believe different things--sometimes opposite things--will or won't harm children.

Vivian you'd probably be interested in this book:

Our Babies Our Selves: How Biology and Culture Shape the Way We Parent

 

Thanks for the responses ladies!

QUOTE(TandC @ May 12 2009, 12:46 PM) [snapback]1310551[/snapback]
Oh, and don't get in the car and drive away when they are pissing you off!


Can I drive away if I leave them with a responsible adult I think I've broken this rule!

QUOTE(piccologirl @ May 12 2009, 02:37 PM) [snapback]1310699[/snapback]
basically the only difference between a rule and advice is whether or not it sounds like there's a frown and a wagging finger attached.


So true! I think half th time it's my imagination that adds tat wagging finger.

QUOTE(Meximeli @ May 12 2009, 05:02 PM) [snapback]1310881[/snapback]
There are no rules. Not even "cause harm" because different cultures believe different things--sometimes opposite things--will or won't harm children.

Vivian you'd probably be interested in this book:

Our Babies Our Selves: How Biology and Culture Shape the Way We Parent


Wow! That looks like something I would like to read! I'm going to get me a copy, thanks!

 

QUOTE(Meximeli @ May 12 2009, 04:02 PM) [snapback]1310881[/snapback]
There are no rules. Not even "cause harm" because different cultures believe different things--sometimes opposite things--will or won't harm children.

Vivian you'd probably be interested in this book:

Our Babies Our Selves: How Biology and Culture Shape the Way We Parent


I totally agree, but by "cause harm" I wasn't talking about touchy-feely stuff that is dependent on perspective and culture. We all know not to leave a child unattended in a vehicle, especially on a hot day. We all know not to leave a child unattended in a bathtub full of water. We all know not to give a baby a bottle of antifreeze, or at least I would hope we all know that. I think you get my drift now.

 

I don't think there are "rules". I think that we go through life gleaning ideas from other people and situations. We take what we have gleaned, put it all together and then take out what doesn't work for us. For the way I parent, I have taken what I have learned or observed from my childhood, from people at church, the families I nannied for, my pediatrician, my mil, and from another message board. I decide what's best for our family. It doesn't mean that's whats best for the next family tho. I go with my instincts. So far in my 3 1/2 years as a mother, I have tripped and fallen so many times trying out things that I learned from others. I have gained lots of good knowledge this way too.

 

Can I drive away if I leave them with a responsible adult I think I've broken this rule!

Oh yes I should have clarified, fine to drive away if they are with someone!!!

 

I agree your mommy intuition is most accurate. I think the "rules" are just guidelines and you have to decide what is best for your child. As long as they are happy, growing you are doing the rules that apply to them only. Having a great pedi doesn't help either. My pedi is great and we drive an hour to see her.

 

QUOTE(Lizzybo @ May 12 2009, 06:57 PM) [snapback]1310871[/snapback]
For me, the rules are to not do anything that may cause your child harm. Otherwise, go with your instincts.



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