so upset, advice needed

Discussion in 'The Toddler Years(1-3)' started by AimeeThomp, Oct 28, 2008.

  1. AimeeThomp

    AimeeThomp Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Lily is too small - she is weighing in at 16 pounds 3 ounces. Amelia is right at 18 pounds. The pedi said if Lily hasn't gained more by her 15 month appointment we'll have to do some testing to see why she is so small.

    On one hand, she was only 5 pounds 12 ounces at birth, so she's almost tripled her birth weight. But on the other hand, she was 14 pounds at 6 months, so she's only gained 2 pounds in 6 months. :(

    The pedi said for me to give her fatty food as much as she'll eat. I already give her avocado on a regular basis as well as cheese and whatever else she will eat. Should I start giving her fast food and junky food or what? That doesn't make sense to me, but fruits, veggies and healthy stuff isn't putting weight on her.

    I am so upset that my baby is too small, she looks fine to me. What are some things I can do to fatten her up? I can't make her sit still, she's always on the go.

    I feel like a bad mom, I am the one responsible for their nutrition and I am not giving her what she needs. :cry:

    Please tell me if you are a mom who has been told their baby or babies are too small and how you got them to gain weight or how you handled it.
     
  2. FirstTimeMom814

    FirstTimeMom814 Well-Known Member

    :hug: Aimee. I don't have any advice to offer, but I'm sure it's just due to all the extra activity that comes from moving around more. Try not to worry too much. At least she gained some weight. Perhaps she is just meant to be more petite.
     
  3. sthomas81

    sthomas81 Well-Known Member

    Please do not feel like a bad mom. You are a great mom!!! My older DD Natalie was and is very petite. She weighed around 18 lbs at her 1 year check up and they told me the same thing. She is probably a petite girl and that is her body structure. Natalie will be 3 in Feb and she only weighs 26 lbs. You are doing an awesome job and keep doing what you are doing. Your girls are beautiful!!!
     
  4. ahmerl

    ahmerl Well-Known Member

    My Lily is also very tiny AND is always on the go. I do not remember what she weighed at a year but she has always been around the 5% for weight. She is also; however, always around the 95% for height. My ped has not stressed about it at all. He said she is probably just built to be long and lean. Plus, she is a crazy kid and runs EVERYWHERE ALL of the time. She eats twice as much as her brother but she is 2x as active as any toddler I have ever seen. It sounds like your Lily is the same and I really think they just burn up all that energy. Does she eat well? I think that if she is eating well and as long as she is gaining some weight then perhaps there is no cause for concern. Also, she may be due for a growth spurt that will shoot up in weight and none of this will be a concern anymore! Keep us posted.
     
  5. 2plusbgtwins

    2plusbgtwins Well-Known Member

    The pedi never told me my babies were too small, but if I remember correctly my DD was around the same weight as yours at that age.. She is 26 months now, and she only weighs about 22 lbs. She has always been very petite.
    Did they say what percentile she falls under for a child her age?

    I wouldnt really worry too much, as long as you know she is eating enough. Maybe just try giving her things that will 'stick' to her.. potatoes, try little chicken pieces, . . im not sure how much solids she is able to eat, but Im sure she will be ok.
     
  6. PetiteFleur

    PetiteFleur Well-Known Member

    Aimee-

    I can't remember what my Amelia ( :) ) weighed at one year, but she's two now and weighs only 21 lbs. My ped didn't alarm me as much as yours seems to be doing, but she did run a thyroid test at 15 month, just to check it out. Everything checked out fine.

    I've stressed about this too, but now I've come to realize she's just a little peanut. I still put butter on her toast, give her whole milk and whole milk yogurt, etc, but I've stopped stressing about it so much.

    I'm sorry you're feeling so bad about it. Sounds to me like you're doing everything you can that is within your power. Keep up the good work! I know you'll hear from other Moms of smaller kids for more reassurance b/c I remember a similar thread awhile back that reassured me a great deal (try searching for that one).
     
  7. meganguttman

    meganguttman Well-Known Member

    Ever since 6 months we've been adding extra scoops of formula to their bottles to give them more calories. Did you ever do that? When we started whole milk, their dr. told us to add 1 pkg of Carnation Instant Breakfast per 8oz of whole milk. I don't know if it's doing any good, but it makes me feel better when they don't eat their solid meals. I know of several people who add the powder to their kids milk. You may want to ask your dr about trying it.
     
  8. MNTwinSquared

    MNTwinSquared Well-Known Member

    :hug: I realize the end weight is pretty good, it's just the lack of weight gain that is concerning. My ds was 7.7 at birth and was about 20 lbs at 1 year old. I saw that he only gained 4 lbs between then and his 24 month appt. I second that she is probably more active and therefore not gaining like you think she should be.
     
  9. pamallhoney

    pamallhoney Well-Known Member

    All the girls in my family were really petite. My sister went to kindergarten weighing 25lbs. The Drs. wanted to put her on steroids, but my parents refused. She is now 27. 5' 2" has had 3 boys and weighs 98lbs. LUCKY!!! I'm 5'3"ish and had 6 and weigh 170lbs. talk about differences in siblings. She may just be petite like my sister is. Try not to worry. You are a good momma and I'm sure she's not crying out because she's hungry!
     
  10. AimeeThomp

    AimeeThomp Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    QUOTE(2plusbgtwins @ Oct 28 2008, 11:44 AM) [snapback]1045663[/snapback]
    Did they say what percentile she falls under for a child her age?


    Yes, Amelia at 18 pounds is in the 5th%. Lily is no longer on the percentile at all, so I guess she is 0% and has also fallen off her growth curve as far as weight goes. She has gotten taller.

    ETA - both girls are in the 25 percentile for height. They are peanuts.
     
  11. snoopytwins

    snoopytwins Well-Known Member

    Hmmm...I have string beans myself too. They were not quite as light as your smaller but around 17.5-18lbs at one year.

    I think what may be concerning is the lack of gain over time but they also do become much more active too so weight gain does slow. Did you get told what percentile? MIne have consistently been in the 3rd percentile so it's not as worrisome as a drop in percentile.

    However...there are some ways to add in some fat, and you should feel like a bad mommy at all.

    I add butter and olive oil when I can and where appropriate. Mine also can have as much milk, cheese, and yogurt as they care to eat. I also use milk when I can in recipes that call for either milk or water. You want them to have healthy diets, but you can add in some extra calories/fat here and there. Perhaps, ask you're doc about adding the carnation instant breakfast or pediasure if necessary.
     
  12. Kyrstyn

    Kyrstyn Well-Known Member

    :hug: Aimee! You are not a bad mom! I have no advice, but I also agree its probably due to the fact that she is just more mobile and active. :hug:
     
  13. caba

    caba Banned

    QUOTE(aimeethomp @ Oct 28 2008, 02:03 PM) [snapback]1045695[/snapback]
    Yes, Amelia at 18 pounds is in the 5th%. Lily is no longer on the percentile at all, so I guess she is 0% and has also fallen off her growth curve as far as weight goes. She has gotten taller.

    ETA - both girls are in the 25 percentile for height. They are peanuts.


    Try not to worry ... I know, easier said than done. Maybe it's just like Tracey said ... you have a very small active daugther ... but to be safe, the docs will run a few tests at 15 months just to make sure there is nothing else going on ... if all tests come back ok, they will probably agree that she is just a tiny peanut! Hugs!
     
  14. annelily2000

    annelily2000 Well-Known Member

    IDK Aimee, It does not seem to be a huge difference between her and her sister. And, at least she is gaining almost tripling body weight is no small feat.
    Whatever the reason is, I am willing to bet it is not because you have not tried. I don't think her weight is of any reflection on what a great mom you are. :hug:
     
  15. nurseandrea02

    nurseandrea02 Well-Known Member

    My cousin's little girl FINALLY hit 20 lbs at her 2 yr check. At 1 yr, I think she was maybe 16 lbs (my boys were actually bigger than her this past Christmas & they are 11 mos younger). At 15 mos, the Ped wanted her checked, but my cousin didn't want to put her through it. She's active, bright, & eats well. She's just petite. Also, my niece has always been tiny & her Ped wanted her checked, too, but my SIL refused as well. Just because they're little doesn't mean anything's wrong. They're active & have good metabolisms...sure wish I did! As long as she eats well, is gaining/growing, is following developmental milestones, etc. I wouldn't worry (easier said than done). I'd maybe try to add a little fattier things, but not if it meant jeopardizing a healthy diet (ie I wouldn't do fast food just to plump her up!!!).

    Your girls are beautiful....hang in there!
     
  16. Trishandthegirls

    Trishandthegirls Well-Known Member

    Aimee,

    Hang in there. Like everyone else said, she's probably just meant to be small. If she seems healthy to you and is active and interested in eating, I probably wouldn't worry. Testing at 15 months will just rule out things so that you don't worry in the future. As other people said, put olive oil and butter on everything to add extra calories. Even things that seem weird can handle a little butter. Spread cream cheese on everything you can't dip in oil or butter. Offer salad dressing as a dip for vegetables when she's old enough to dip.

    If you want additional idea, you can actually ask your pedi for a recommendation to EI for nutrition. EI will send a nutrition and feeding specialist to your house to work with you on developing a menu and calorie plan. (at least, this is what they did for a good friend of mine who has a daughter who fell off the growth charts)

    Good luck!
     
  17. erwelch

    erwelch Well-Known Member

    My son was always below the 3% for weight and I think at his 18mth appt his pedi had me change him from whole milk to pediasure. He gained a little bit but nothing crazy, he is on the go from am to pm which I'm sure has a lot to do with it. He is now back on whole milk and eats like crazy but just doesn't seem to gain weight. He is super healthy so I'm really now worried too much about it. He was exclusively breastfed which I think may have to do with some of it I just don't think he got nearly as many calories as a formula fed baby would have gotten. I think they will all gain weight in time, if she has a healthy diet I wouldn't be too concerned.
     
  18. nadana77

    nadana77 Well-Known Member

    :hug: I don't have any advise but, want to say that you are NOT a bad mom! You have done a fantastic job and are a wondeful mom to your babies!
    Sometimes little girls are just more petite then others!
    Take Care
     
  19. T.O. Twins

    T.O. Twins Well-Known Member

    I'm afraid that I don't have any first hand experience to share, but I wanted to point you toward a resource that might be helpful. I've said this in other posts, but I'll say it again... I have found books by Ellyn Satter to be really helpful for principles on how to feed your kids and reassurance about what is and is not problematic growth. It's also reassuring that if you can follow her principles of feeding, you can feel better about doing the right thing as a parent. Her basic book about feeding is "Child of Mine: Feeding With Love and Good Sense, " but you might prefer the book "How to Get your Kid to Eat... But Not Too Much," which more specifically addresses the issue of feeding kids with poor growth. I haven't read "How to Get your Kids to Eat", but I read "Child of Mine" and found it to be very reassuring and helpful in getting my kids to eat a variety of foods without stressing me or them out about it. I think you want to be careful not to set up your relationship with your little girl so that you are always trying to force her to eat. That usually doesn't work and really never ends up teaching the kids how to manage their own eating in the long run. It also puts unnecessesary stress in your lives.

    Good luck!
     
  20. djpizzuti

    djpizzuti Well-Known Member

    I second the Mom who mentioned the EI consult for feeding and nutrition. Use your resources!!! (I am a fan, I have two children involved with EI and have nothing but good things to say about it). But, let someone lift some of the stress off of your shoulders, you have enough to do Mama.

    Donna
     
  21. debid

    debid Well-Known Member

    T&T were at their lowest point on the growth chart at 12 months (one was 3rd % and the other just below 3rd). They were extremely active, early to walk, too busy/distracted to eat and dropped percentiles at their 9 and 12-month checkups. I was advised on calorie-dense foods and given a few pages of infomation but nothing was said about testing. They started heading back up the chart at 15 months (3rd and 5th) and I changed very little. I did add eggs to their diet and they got those once or twice a week for breakfast plus some dried fruit or a fig newton for dessert but I don't think that alone did it. Really, I think it was more a matter of them taking in more food overall and hitting some serious growth spurts. They were above the 10th % line at their 3-year appointment and while they still look rather slender, I've quit worrying about it.
     
  22. AmynTony

    AmynTony Well-Known Member

    oh sweetie - my DD is the same as yours - was 16.5 lbs at a year and now at 2.5 is only 23 lbs and has been for months and months...as long as she eats well (DD outeats DS by MILES) is happy healthy and learning/eager to learn then don't worry about it...I've asked the ped about Carnation Instant Breakfast/Pediasure etc...he said its NOT NEEDED! She will grow when she's damn good and ready and not to stress about it...
     
  23. Lougood

    Lougood Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry about the doc stressing you out! My little one was also MAYBE 16lbs (for some reason I want to say closer to 15) at a year. She's 2.5 now and barely 23.5lbs. She is healthy, happy, smart, and very active. True, she can be picky and food doesn't interest her very much, but I've learned to let it go. I'm sure your little one dropped % b/c of her activity level. She'll bounce right back. I wouldn't worry about her size, she's just petite. I've met plenty of 11 month olds bigger than my little one. As long as she's healthy, I'm happy. Have you thought about talking to another pedi?
     
  24. frickandfrack

    frickandfrack Well-Known Member

    DD weighed 16lbs. 7 oz. at 1 yr -- Ped was not at all concerned. At almost 3.5, she only weighs 27 lbs. soaking wet. We do still give whole milk, whole milk yogurt, whole milk cheese, etc. They eat avocado almost every day. You can add olive oil as a healthy alternative to add pounds.
     
  25. mich17

    mich17 Well-Known Member

    Between now & 18 months is a very busy time for toddlers. They are so busy they are burning more calories than they are taking in. Cody was my biggest at birth & even out eats both his brothers now, but between 12-15 months only gained 1 pound. I did add carnation instant breakfast to the twins' milk at a year, but I am not doing it to Cody's. he eats wonderful & is just very active. Quit beating yourself up & know that you do a wonderful job with your girls.
     
  26. akameme

    akameme Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    QUOTE(aimeethomp @ Oct 28 2008, 10:32 AM) [snapback]1045643[/snapback]
    Lily is too small - she is weighing in at 16 pounds 3 ounces. Amelia is right at 18 pounds. The pedi said if Lily hasn't gained more by her 15 month appointment we'll have to do some testing to see why she is so small.

    On one hand, she was only 5 pounds 12 ounces at birth, so she's almost tripled her birth weight. But on the other hand, she was 14 pounds at 6 months, so she's only gained 2 pounds in 6 months. :(

    The pedi said for me to give her fatty food as much as she'll eat. I already give her avocado on a regular basis as well as cheese and whatever else she will eat. Should I start giving her fast food and junky food or what? That doesn't make sense to me, but fruits, veggies and healthy stuff isn't putting weight on her.

    I am so upset that my baby is too small, she looks fine to me. What are some things I can do to fatten her up? I can't make her sit still, she's always on the go.

    I feel like a bad mom, I am the one responsible for their nutrition and I am not giving her what she needs. :cry:

    Please tell me if you are a mom who has been told their baby or babies are too small and how you got them to gain weight or how you handled it.


    You are NOT a bad mom. Jake has been tracking on the small side since birth and we are going through testing for him - they just want to make sure his body is producing growth hormone.

    As for your Lily. Here is my advice (I haven't read the other posts):
    1) Continue giving her full fat foods (yogurt, cheese)
    2) Let her eat as much as she wants (Jake snacks far more than Becca)
    3) Maybe try smoothies
    4) Do not give her junk food
    5) You can add butter to things (toast, waffles)
    6) Maybe keep her on formula until 15 months (we did that for Jake)

    You may also want to ask the pedi for a 13 month weigh check, just for your own piece of mind before her 15 month. I wouldn't worry too much, she sounds healthy and happy.

    :hug:
     
  27. Tizzylish

    Tizzylish Active Member

    I don't have time to read all the responses, but I hope your pedi (or you for that matter) are not just focusing on the percentile numbers. As long as her growth numbers keep falling on the curve in an upward trend, I wouldn't worry. Our pedi doesn't ever tell us what percentile our kids fall on (we know it's low) because so many people wrongly focus on where they fall. He tells us to pay more attention to their growth trajectory being on the right track.

    Don't beat yourself up, I'm sure she's totally healthy, just a peanut!
     
  28. AimeeThomp

    AimeeThomp Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    okay I feel foolish for asking this but what does EI stand for? I just call my pedi's office and ask about EI for nutrition?
     
  29. anicosia

    anicosia Well-Known Member

    I'm going to take a stab in the dark here and say that the ped's biggest concern was that she has fallen off her curve. They don't panic so much if there is a consistent amount of growth. It's fine if a kid is in the 3% if they stay in the 3%. Once they begin to drop off that sends up red flags. I've been that mom, I know the panic your going through. It's a challenge. The goal is to get her back on her old growth curve. Stick with whole fat, whole milk. Put butter in everything you can, like veggies. You can buy non fat powdered milk and add that to pudding, yogurt, pretty much any milk based food including packaged mac n cheese. I'd make the old Kraft mac n cheese with extra powdered milk and use whole milk and butter. Put cheese on everything she'll eat cheese on. Sneak a slice of cheese in her scrambled eggs. We do the Carnation Instant b'fast around here too... all of my kids get it. They are all very small for their ages and low on the growth curve. When my oldest dd had oral surgery earlier this month, she was getting homemade milk shakes, made with whole milk icecream, whole milk and CIB. She didn't lose any weight despite not being able to eat anything for about a week. Grilled cheese sandwiches with real butter instead of spread on the outside are usually a hit at this age. Cream cheese and jelly sandwhiches are "Nummy" according to my little ones (berry flavored whipped cream cheese and jam either blackberry or strawberry.) Focus on healthier high fat foods. You can make a fruit dip with cream cheese and marshmallow cream, I never did it but it's supposed to be good. Fast food isn't the answer. There is a way to do this without upsetting anyone. They still need the healthy fats and calories to fuel growth at this stage. A dozen donuts followed by chocolate milk in a baby bottle just isn't the answer (I say that because I know someone with a 50lb 2 year old that would eat like that. The kid had a whole hot dog in one hand and a baby bottle of rootbeer in the other the last time I saw her.)
    The big thing is not to panic yourself. The doc just doesn't want her to loose any weight. Keep with what you've been doing but add a little extra cals in where you can. You don't want to start eating problems from trying to force her to eat but at the same time, you want her to gain a little.
    And you can ALWAYS take her in for a weight check in four to six weeks to see if you are making progress.
     
  30. Buttercup1

    Buttercup1 Well-Known Member

    I've got a peanut too. She weighed less than 18 lbs at 1 year. We were adding formula to her milk for extra calories since she's not a big eater. Now we are adding heavy cream to her milk per the recommendation of the dietitian she goes to. Adding 1 tbs of heavy cream to 7.5 oz of whole milk makes it 25 cal/oz instead of 20 ca/oz for straight whole milk.

    Also consider adding butter or olive oil to her veggies and maple syrup and butter to her pancakes, waffles, etc. If she'll eat yogurt, try greek yogurt.
     
  31. summerfun

    summerfun Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    QUOTE(momma*nic @ Oct 28 2008, 05:37 PM) [snapback]1046108[/snapback]
    I'm going to take a stab in the dark here and say that the ped's biggest concern was that she has fallen off her curve.

    That would be my guess as well.

    Aimee, you are not a bad Mom. :hug: My Emilie was only 16 lbs at 1 year as well. Now at 2.5 years old she is about 24 lbs. Our ped has never been concerned because she has consistently gained weight, but he did mention to me that if she stopped gaining weight or went off her growth curve (she was never on the chart for weight until 2 years) then we'd look into things further. She is just petite and there is nothing I can do about it. My oldest DD at 8 years old is not even 50 lbs yet herself.

    You have been given some good advice about what to do. I don't limit her snacking and put butter on things still. Good luck.
     
  32. cole715

    cole715 Well-Known Member

    My girls are also small. They very well balanced meals and they eat alot, or so I think. My ped. said to watch and we will see, but I think they are just going to be small. Claire is much smaller than Gracie, but she is also moving so much more. I think you are doing everything right. As long as she is making progess I don't think there are any problems.
     
  33. koozie

    koozie Well-Known Member

    EI stands for Early Intervention. It is provided by the state (although some states you do pay) and they help with a host of issues for kids from birth-3 years old. (then the school system takes over.)
    Both of mine were in Ei for the first year: helping with premie issues, sitting, crawling, walking, etc. They DS "graduated" and only DD was in is for the 2nd year. They helped her with "functional play" as well as proprioceptive input. EI also helps familes with speech, feeding issues, and a wiiiiiiiiiiiiiide range of issues. I am not sure if you really need Ei if she is eating ok; Just my opinion. But you certainyl can call them to ask!
    I agree with adding olive oil to foods; it works well and has good fat.
    BOL! you are not alone!
     
  34. cohlee

    cohlee Well-Known Member

    Aimee, I didnt read other posts but she is definitely not *too small*!! Maia is only 17lbs, she's 3%ile! I try to fatten her up as well with cheese, yogurt, whole milk, and lots of avocado. Fortunately my girls love avocado, I give it to them plain, and yesterday I mixed it with banana and plain yogurt and they LOVED it!!
    I put butter on their waffles, pancakes, grilled cheeses. Pasta with alfredo sauce is another fatty food, or any cream sauce. Do they like cottage cheese? I add baby food peaches to it and my girls love it.


    I try to offer the girls lots of chances to eat since I know that this is a tough age because they dont want to sit still long enough to eat. Here's what our day looks like:

    Get up and nurse
    730 breakfast with water
    10ish snack with milk
    12ish lunch with milk
    3ish snack with milk
    5ish dinner with milk
    630ish nurse and bed

    They have their meal before naps and a snack afterwards. Sometimes they eat like champs, other times they'll have 6 goldfish and thats enough.
    I dont measure anything, I let them eat until they stop eating, and I am sneaking bites into their mouths the whole too because they are SLOW!

    You are not a bad mom, you're awesome! Dont be so hard on yourself! :hug:
     
  35. fuchsiagroan

    fuchsiagroan Well-Known Member

    Oh, Aimee, don't beat yourself up! :hug: The height gain is good. Did they do head circumference too? Anyway, take a deep breath, don't panic... It's great that you've caught this now and can keep an eye on it. As so many pps said, it could be nothing, just a very active and very distracted little girl. And if there is a problem (which doesn't seem likely!), you'll be able to take care of it sooner rather than later. You are a great mom for being concerned about your baby's health! I know she'll be fine.

    Pps have given lots of good advice. How often do your babies eat? I wonder if offering frequent snacks would help. Even now my kids sometimes get bored before they get full - their attention span just doesn't last the length of a meal sometimes.
     
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