(so sorry) EATING

Just wanted to start out by saying sorry for this but need to get it out!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Oh, how I HATE feeding time! My almost 15 month olds are constantly throwing food on the floor as well as their sippy cup. I feel all I am saying to them is No!, No thank you!, Don't throw! There is also the fact that they are becoming so picky! UGH!!

It took forever to get them to feed themselves (which was only 2 months ago) but now I miss those days. LOL!

I am sure many of you have felt this way. I just dread feeding time, which is 5 times a day. My girl is starting to not like fruit or vegetables, she would rather just eat meat (so weird for me). Thankfully for the most part my boy eats just about anything, sometimes he does refuse stuff. Just tired of making stuff they (she) won't eat.

UGH!!! Can't wait for this phase to be over!!! Still need to start working on utensils. OMG, not looking forward to that!

Just want to stop being so angry about this. I know, I know, just need to let it go and remember (hopefully) they won't be throwing food on the floor when they are 18, lol.

PS It doesn't help that I am also potty training my stubborn 3 1/2 year old who just isn't getting it. UGH!! YES, I have way too much going on. :headbang: I do have to say potty training is for more a pain than what my twins are doing. Man I am a control freak which my kids are working hard on breaking me of it.

Thanks for listening.

Here is to trying to keep in mind that in a few months things will be different. HELP, I hope I don't lose my mind by then.

 

:hug: i trend toward being a control freak too. having kids really doesn't mix well with that. i've tried to consider the positives of becoming a more flexible person & that helps a bit.

in our house, if food was being thrown onto (not just accidently knocked onto) the floor, their plate was taken away, and they were done. with sippies, they were allowed one throw/drop. the second time, it got put away. it still seemed to just take time for them to outgrow the fascination, but at least i wasn't cleaning up ridiculous messes & getting up 1000x to pick up sippies. my girls still aren't too interested in veggies. i try to offer them with at least one meal every day. sometimes now they'll put carrots in their mouths, although they still won't eat them. :gah: they will eat fruit though. my girls used to love veggie & fruit purees spread on toast though. that might be something to try.

as for PT, i can only imagine. i'm so nervous about it that i've started joking that until my girls come to me & tell me they're tired of craping in their pants, i'm not even going to attempt it. :blush:

 

:hug:
I did the similar to Rachel, my two got three chances to throw stuff on the floor and after the third time, meal time was over. Eventually they do get the hint. For my two, I think it was the novelty of seeing me get frustrated and also seeing how far they could fling food.
As for veggies, I would keep offering them, maybe in smaller amounts and with some kind of dip or salad dressing to see if your DD will go for them that way.
Good luck and hang in there!

 

Man, I feel your pain!! Feeding issues are the worst for me. My guys went through a huge phase of throwing, and they were so skinny for most of the SY that I was afraid to take their food away when they threw because I was desperate to get some calories in them. :blush: I will tell you that it does get easier, and they will start to throw less. Once I started taking food away as a consequence it got a *lot* better.

As far as pickiness goes, it seemed like my guys would try anything we offered between about 9 months and 13 months, and then they started refusing *everything*, even things like pancakes and mac-n-cheese! :shok: They are soooo much better now, thank goodness! I think that toddlers go through phases, and if you can outlast 'em, you're golden! I just made sure I offered them at least 1 thing they liked at every meal, and gave them at least a piece or two of something new even if I thought they wouldn't like it. It took a loooong time, but now they eat really interesting things like hummus, salsa, and sour cream; things I never thought a toddler would willingly put in his mouth! Of course, I still can't get Nate to eat a green veggie (he's a carnivore like your DD), but I still offer and I'm holding out hope it will happen some day!

Try not to get frustrated, even though it's so tough. You can even walk away for a few minutes if you have to. Sometimes when my guys are super-naughty at meals (like making themselves throw up :bad: ) I have been known to walk into the living room for 30 seconds to take a deep breath. It really helps me collect myself and has the added bonus of giving less attention to the bad behavior, which can sometimes stop it in its tracks! :good:

 

Yes eating time has caused many a drama at our house. I just had some recent success with food throwing, I realized I was letting it happen and not addressing it and it was getting worse, like they thought it was normal to just throw everything when they were done.
My approach: Smaller portions so they would ask for more if they wanted it, taking the tray away if they started throwing for fun, even though they usually did it at the end of their meal, reminding them constantly to use the word 'finished' when they are done, and constantly telling them 'we DON'T THROW FOOD!', and I even resorted to a couple of hand slaps which I know some people don't approve of but after three or so days of these little strategies with only two hand slaps we had success. The girls almost never throw food now and follow all directives! They even now pile their food and utensils onto their plate and hand it to me, not sure how they figured that out because I didn't show them that!
Anyway I recommend you address it, if you wait until they 'grow out' of it you will go crazy waiting and I think instilling good habits from the get go is better for everyone involved.
As far as pickiness, I am trying to let go of expectations. My girls are good eaters but have their moments. So I go a little overboard balancing all meals so that if one feels like more carbs that day, or proteins or whatever, there is that component available. If you balance the food you give them they should eat what they need/like.

 

I'm right there with you! Mine aren't so bad from the food throwing aspect, but I hate figuring out what to give them 3 times a day. Breakfast isn't too bad but lunch and dinner make me want to bang my head against the wall. Some weeks I feel like all we have eaten is hot dogs, string cheese, easy mac and bread! I can't wait to pass this stage and I am also looking forward to them learning how to use utensils!

 

Here's what has worked for us re food throwing: We taught the girls to put whatever food they don't want to eat in the cupholders on their highchair trays instead of throwing it on the floor. Everytime they would throw food, we would say, over and over and over again, "If you don't want to eat it, put it in your cupholder," and we would rather flamboyantly pick the food up off the floor and place it in a cupholder. It has, for the most part, worked. Now, when they throw down the first piece of food, all we have to say is, "Nope, cupholder," and they start putting it in the cupholders.

 

This drove me nuts!

I also taught mine to put whatever they didn't want to eat in the cupholder, and if they didn't want their sippy, to put it in the cupholder or hand it to me. I also tried to tell them what I did want them to do, instead of saying "Don't throw..". I'd say, "Put your food in the cupholder", or "Hand Mommy your cup when you're done". It drove me INSANE, but from advice given here, I learned to let it go and just look at it like a teaching opportunity. We gave huge high-fives for putting food/cups in the cupholder. Mine stopped throwing food around 20 months and cups around 22 months. When they "knew better", and threw their cup, I'd do like the Love and Logic book recommends and give a natural consequence and say, "That's so sad, you threw your cup and now it's gone. When you're done with your cup, put it in your cupholder or give it to Mommy", and leave it on the floor and they didn't get it again. I'd also kind of ignore the dropped food and really cheer them putting it in the cupholder.

One DD realized that I'd jump up when she was about to throw her cup so she used that when she was done and wanted out of her high chair. I had to figure that out and taught her the "all done" sign praised her for using that.

I'd give them a spoon at each meal and just let them see it and play with it. They'll watch you use yours and figure it out. Mine will use forks and spoons some of the time, then go right back to fingers. I went to "normal" salad forks pretty early as they're much more effective at picking up food than the kids' rounded plastic ones. Those just frustrated my girls. The Baby Bjorn spoons are awesome. They'll grab a lot of food even if they barely dab it and are easy for them to hold.

You've got tons on your plate with PTing too. I'm PTing the twins a little now and it's insanely stressful. Feeding and PTing toddlers is he** on us control/neat freaks! Relax with the feeding and just offer the foods and they get to pick what they eat, and don't comment one way or the other. Ellen Satter's book is excellent about that and nothing is good or bad about a meal and what is consumed. Mine go from tons of meat to none, huge portions, to tiny, and I think that is just normal. I try to talk about anything other than the actual food or amount consumed at the table, no "good jobs" or "here try a little of this".

My 11 month old shows no interest in self-feeding, so I'm fretting over that. Did yours just start doing it more and more, or did you do anything that helped encourage it? She'll eat one puff and then want to be fed. I'd love to see some food-throwing from her


Good luck!

 

My solution to the food throwing is maybe a little more unconventional. I feed them in the dining room which is completely gated off. And, after they are done with their meals, I clean them up, move them into the play area and then let my 2 Labradors into the dining room to "clean up". :blush: So, I guess my advice would be to get a dog. ha! (In all seriousness, though, all the pp's had great advice. I think I'm going to have to follow it, as well. They definitely aren't getting through this food and sippy cup throwing phase the way I am currently dealing with it!)

 

Ha! :lol: My dog helps a lot with cleanup too; poor thing is getting really fat!

 

I remember this phase all too well! One of my least favorite of all time. I wanted to start drinking at breakfast time :lol: It definitely passes. I know for us it got a lot better when we went to boosters at the table instead of highchairs. I'm sure it was due to age as well.