So Nervous!

I find myself sitting here, unable to stop the thoughts running like freightrains thru my mind. I expected to be nervous, and not really sleep the last few nights before, but I fell asleep easily last night, and then woke up at 2 am, and couldnt fall back to sleep till 630. I am going to spend the day cleaning and organizing because I am extremely type A. I think Kate Gosselin (from jon and kate plus 8) and I were seperated at birth!!! Anyway, I am so nervous about everything from the induction itself, to the epidural, to pushing both of them out, to the recovery time, and then into a whole new world of having 2 newborns to take care of once they lovingly kick my butt out of the hospital... kicking and screaming. I am also nervous about my MIL coming down. She and I just do not see eye to eye. as far as shes concernced, these are her SONS children, and I have just been the unfortunate incubator. It was the same with our first, but when we lost him at 28 months old, she took it very hard. She still to this day has not asked me how I am doing with the loss of our son. She just constantly talks about how she misses "grammas boy" and refers to him as her angel. I know everyone grieves in their own way, but she makes it very difficult for me. I have talked to my DH about this, and he just doesn't know what to do. He doesn't want to hurt either of us. Anyway, I was hoping that she wasn't going to be hanging around the hospital for my entire induction, but found out this morning they are on their way here tonite, so that they can be there first thing. I don't know what to do. I am so nervous about the medical side of this labour, and now, I am upset because this woman is going to do watever she can to be in the labour room. She knows she cant be in the delivery room, so she wants to be there during labour. Sorry about the vent, I guess I should have dealt with this before hand, but I am not a confrontational person, but she is.. BIG TIME. She will belittle both me and my DH to get her way. I feel like I might end up losing it on her, and then having my DH upset with me.


Anyone have any ideas? on any of my anxieties??
Thanks for reading

 

I don't have too much advice for the MIL..... Those are such tough situations. My husbands mom is similar, but with a touch of "Woe is me" syndrome! When my daughter was born, she wasn't there for the birth, but came to visit for the first two weeks we were home. Now, this would have been cool, if she didn't expect us to entertain her, take her shopping, and then tend to her "headaches", which come everday.....So this time I MADE my hubby tell her, we would prefer she came a few months after they are born, but if she insists, she has to pay for her own hotel room!! LOL. It took a long time for my hubby to truly see his mom's personality.

As for the loss of your son, I am truly sorry. I cannot imagine what you must have gone, and will continue to go through.

Molly

 

I am so sorry for the loss of your son. You are his mom and your feelings come first.

It makes me so sad when I read posts like yours. How can one woman who has been through so much treat another with such disregard for her feelings? Please don't let this woman bully you. Have a heart to heart with your DH tonight. Tell him you understand he doesn't want to hurt his mom but that his mom is hurting you seriously and he needs to stand up for you and your soon to be here babies. It is SO important that you have the labor and delivery the way you want it. It will only happen once!

My mom really wanted to be there when I labored with my older DD - she is very close to me. DH and I NEEDED to do this alone for us and our soon to be family. She was not happy but she understood.

You can enlist the help of your Drs and nurses. Ask them to tell MIL that they are not allowed to be there during labor because it's a twin labor and anything could happen and that they can wait in the waiting area where they'll be more comfortable. It's probably a lie but who cares - that way neither you nor DH is the bad guy.

There is NO WAY in ____ that I would let a woman who treats me like I don't exist to be present at the most special and vulnerable time in my life.

I had a pretty uneventful induction for my twins if you discount the Epi failing They were born vaginally and very healthy and happy. Best of luck.

I hope you have the perfect birth and 2 beautiful children.

 

I'm so sorry about the loss of your son! And the nervousness is totally normal! I've had 5 children, including twins, and I'm getting nervous again as the end approaches, LOL.

I agree with Jen, get a nurse to play guard at your door. In fact, there's no reason for the woman to be on the maternity floor if you don't want her there, IMO. But all hospitals are laid out differently, so maybe that's not something you could determine. If you've written up a birth plan, it should (or at least can) say who you'll allow in the room with you. If you didn't, call the hospital and ask about bringing this in with you. It's not set in stone, but will help them to make your wishes happen. And having the nurse be the one to tell her she can't be there, also lets your DH off the hook. Regardless of it being twins or a single baby, having someone in the room who stresses you out, is not conducive to a healthy labor. The nurses will know this and should support you in it.

We were adamant about no one coming to the hospital until we called them and said it was ok to come. Luckily all of our family is very cooperative.

 

I am so sorry about the loss of Mason ~ and can totally understand why you would be nervous about tomorrow :hug:

Do what makes YOU feel best when you are in the hospital and I agree with having the nurses help out with guarding your room. Only allow people in the room when you are feeling up to it :good:

Good luck :hug:

 

I'm so sorry This is about YOU and your feelings right now, not about her and her feelings. Yes everyone grieves BUT you're the one giving birth to two babies, everyones first concern should be you and these babies!

I agree w pp, have the nurse do the dirty work for you, you really don't need this right now!

Take care of yourself and I can't wait to hear about your babies!

 

Yeah...I would use the nurses as my running guards <_< Let them know the anxiety that you are feeling and how they can assist in making you more laxed.Also make no apologies for your emotions to MIL...If you feel sleepy...go to sleep-If you don't want to be bothered...blame it on the post pardum-Let the nurses know that you get 1st priority to bond with your newborns.Just flat out ignore the MIL if it makes you feel better. Let her know that you are tired and maybe that one "I'm Sorry" if you have to pass gas and she is in the room...pass gas-that will let her know who's space she is in (she's in your space) and you should not have to be uncomfortable at this time because of her imposing herself on your moment! That's what I do when I reconize that a person wants to impose on me- I make one big apology and be free of being in bondage to anyone (mentally, emotionally, and so forth) Sorry that you have to have those anxieties at this time...and I hope for you to have strength to be at peace with what ever you may be grieving as far as your son is concerned-may you be filled with so much joy with your twins-God Bless and I wish you a good labor & delivery experience.

 

Good luck!

I agree with PP's let the nurses know your wishes. They will advocate for you to the extent they can. Most hospitals only allow 1 other person in the birthing room, so your nurses can point this out if its the rule. Having these babies is about you. Not your MIL. Now is the time to be vocal and stand up. You are not just doing it for you, but your babies now.

I am so sorry about the loss of your son. :hug: