so many 15 month old questions. . .

Hello! My girls are 15 months olds and lately they have been acting needy, whiny, clinging, etc. I have some questions about what to do. Any advice would be wonderul.
* How do I know when to transition to just one nap? Everyone keeps telling me that they'll let me know when they are ready, how will they do that?
* Both girls are starting to throw little tantrums if things don't go their way (toys stolen from sister, being told no, something in their way, etc). Do I just ignore the tantrums or pick them up when they are screaming bloody murder?
* They seem to HATE being in their strollers and being out and about shopping with mommy and daddy or running errands. Will this stop?? We go to the store and I see others babies arounds their age sitting so nice in their strollers, why can't ours?

I truly appreciate any help or suggestions, we are both confused on what to do.

Thanks,
Jen

 

Mine are also 15 months and aren't ready for 1 nap. They take a 2 hour nap in the morning (10-12) and then another around 4:30 and still go to bed at 8:30. They've missed that afternoon nap occassionally and things are NOT pretty.

My DDs also get upset when things don't go their way. I usually ignore it because I don't want to reward that behavior. I try to get them to be kind to each other and they do give toys back and forth which is very sweet. But for every time they are nice to each other, there are MANY other times when they are mean... its rough to have to share your stuff, especially when most things are both of theirs. Its also hard because they are just starting to be verbal. They understand more than they can say and its hard for them to not be able to communicate.

As for the stroller, I hear ya! They are only happy if we are moving or if there are snacks. So yeah, I'm one of those moms bribing her kids with cheerios if I have to run an errand. Or I go to a store that has a double cart (BJ's wholesale around here has them) and they LOVE sitting up in the carts and I can shop! GL and hang in there and know that you are definitely not alone!

 

My boys are 16 months (just about).

QUOTE(2miracles @ Jun 17 2008, 09:50 AM) [snapback]830877[/snapback]
* How do I know when to transition to just one nap? Everyone keeps telling me that they'll let me know when they are ready, how will they do that?

We made that transition at about 14 months. Our morning nap was decent but the afternoon nap was a struggle so I consolidated with a mid-day nap. It took a while for Evan to make the transition and both boys go to bed earlier now, but overall I think one good nap is working out well for us. We have some free time in the morning and the afternoon now to get out of the house.

* Both girls are starting to throw little tantrums if things don't go their way (toys stolen from sister, being told no, something in their way, etc). Do I just ignore the tantrums or pick them up when they are screaming bloody murder?

For me, it depends on the situation. I usually don't pick the boys up when they're tantruming, but I rarely completely ignore them. I can usually sense what is going to trigger a tantrum and I try to distract/avoid it when possible. At the same time I think it's a natural part of the toddler experience to test the limits, deal with disappointments, and be overdramatic. I spend a lot of time modeling concepts like sharing, taking turns, being gentle, and playing nicely. It helps A LOT.

* They seem to HATE being in their strollers and being out and about shopping with mommy and daddy or running errands. Will this stop?? We go to the store and I see others babies arounds their age sitting so nice in their strollers, why can't ours?

I bribe with healthy snacks and cups of water as necessary! Sometimes they just have to do a bit of complaining while I get things done - it's all part of the learning process. Also, I avoid extended shopping trips when possible.


Good luck!

 

When they start playing through one of their naps and not sleeping or waking up at night, then you know it's time to go down to one nap.

As far as the trantrums go, mine started right around this age too. I ignored it for a while and when they were around 20 months I started the 1-2-3 Magic approach, modified to when they reach 3 they get a time out.....and they quit throwing the ugly throw themselves on the floor fits. Or at least cut back on them.

I just never let in when it came to the stroller, they can whine, cry and throw a fit....they're staying in it. They finally figured out I wouldn't cave and quit fussing to get out. They're 25 months now and we don't use it nearly as much, but there are still an occasion when I can't have them running different directions! They'll still try to throw a fit if it's been a long time since they were in it last, but I still don't cave. I used to keep alot of board books, toys and the ultimate bribery....puffs in my diaper bag to distract them when in the stroller.
Good luck and it dont be mislead, it doesn't get any easier, you just trade one challenge for the next.

 

My grandsons are 15 1/2 months old. The pedi told us that terrible twos begin way before the 2nd birthday so to be prepared. He warned us of temper tantrums and they have just begun within the last week. They will strike out at adults and children alike when they don't get their way and M will actually throw himself to the floor and pitch a whopper of a fit. The pedi told us to just ignore them and let him basically exhaust his tantrum on his own and see that it did no good to pitch it in the first place. G is becoming the more clingy - I won't say clingy exactly, but for some reason he has always been independant and wanted to play with his toys, etc. with no interference and was content but now he wants to crawl in my lap and be cuddled much more than normal. I actually love the cuddly part. G has always given in to M but in the past couple of weeks he has found that he is just as big and just as tough and he will strike out at his brother. I think everything you have said is just this age and the stage they go through. They're learning to be independant. They're learning they have a mind of their own. Just plug your ears and go with the flow. Having grown daughters I can assure you this stage will pass on.

 

My girls are 15 months and I coudl have written this post.

They are SO clingy all of a sudden. leaving for work is impossible. They cling to me and cry even though I know they LOVE their babysitter (my sister). I listen outside the door though and they stop crying about 30 seconds after I leave!

They fight fight fight too! Pull hair and bight! Not really tantrums yet but I'm sure they are on their way.

Not really ready for 2 naps. They still need a 2 hour nap in the morning and usually an hour in the afternoon.

hang in there! You are not alone!

 

I could have written this post too and I think I did at 15 months.

We were in the process of transitioning to one nap a little before that age. The only way I think I knew was they were not interested in the morning nap at all. They would just stay in there and talk and play away and it was such a waste and then they were exhausted. So I gradually moved the morning nap back to the afternoon and they go down around noon these days.

Temper tantrums were really just starting for us. They too would throw themselves on the ground. As long as they werent hurting themselves, I just walked away and played with the other baby and then they were done as fast as it came.

I do lots of bribes in the stroller these days.

Hang in there.

 

Mine are 17 months and we are still not ready for two naps. They have been sleeping two hours in the morning and two hours in the afternoon. I keep waiting for a sign that they are ready to drop their second nap, but if they don't sleep in the afternoon, it's a cranky rest of the day!

Our errands seems to be getting shorter, too, because the boys seem to fuss in the stroller. They want to be out walking on their own. I've been able to distract them a bit with sippy cups.

Good luck!

 

:wavey: Jen!

* How do I know when to transition to just one nap? Everyone keeps telling me that they'll let me know when they are ready, how will they do that?

Mine weren't ready at 15 months. When they were ready {at 18 months} they started resisting the second nap. They would scream/play/talk/whatever but not sleep. That's when I started keeping them up longer in the am and putting them down at noon. It was hard for a few weeks to keep them up as they still got tired at their morning nap time but that wore off eventually. It also took them a few weeks to get into the groove of sleeping longer for this one and only nap.


* Both girls are starting to throw little tantrums if things don't go their way (toys stolen from sister, being told no, something in their way, etc). Do I just ignore the tantrums or pick them up when they are screaming bloody murder?

For my two what works best is ignoring them. If I pay attention, they keep going and going. If I turn around and start reading or playing or doing whatever, they stop within seconds {most of the time} Now if they really get into it and this doesn't work, I tend to remove them from the room so they have some time to cool off. Luckily I don't have to do this much.

* They seem to HATE being in their strollers and being out and about shopping with mommy and daddy or running errands. Will this stop?? We go to the store and I see others babies arounds their age sitting so nice in their strollers, why can't ours?

My two did go through a phase of not liking the stroller, and I just let them cry and they did eventually start liking it again. I didn't go in the store though until they stopped, but it was never longer then a minute. Oh and I also started giving them cheerios in their stroller, so that helped tremendously. :blush:

Good luck!!!

 

How do I know when to transition to just one nap? Everyone keeps telling me that they'll let me know when they are ready, how will they do that?
My girls are almost 19 months are are still taking 2 naps when home. They take only 1 at daycare, but when they are home, they really need them both...* Both girls are starting to throw little tantrums if things don't go their way (toys stolen from sister, being told no, something in their way, etc). Do I just ignore the tantrums or pick them up when they are screaming bloody murder?
My girls are starting to throw little tantrums/screaming when they don't get their way. I basically just calmly say "Lily, yelling does not work around here" and ignore her. They both stop pretty quickly.* They seem to HATE being in their strollers and being out and about shopping with mommy and daddy or running errands. Will this stop?? We go to the store and I see others babies arounds their age sitting so nice in their strollers, why can't ours?
My girls sometimes will sit and some times want "OUT OUT OUT OUT!!".. Really depends on what is going on around them..

 

QUOTE(2miracles @ Jun 17 2008, 09:50 AM) [snapback]830877[/snapback]
Hello! My girls are 15 months olds and lately they have been acting needy, whiny, clinging, etc. I have some questions about what to do. Any advice would be wonderul.
* How do I know when to transition to just one nap? Everyone keeps telling me that they'll let me know when they are ready, how will they do that?
* Both girls are starting to throw little tantrums if things don't go their way (toys stolen from sister, being told no, something in their way, etc). Do I just ignore the tantrums or pick them up when they are screaming bloody murder?
* They seem to HATE being in their strollers and being out and about shopping with mommy and daddy or running errands. Will this stop?? We go to the store and I see others babies arounds their age sitting so nice in their strollers, why can't ours?

I truly appreciate any help or suggestions, we are both confused on what to do.

Thanks,
Jen


Hi Jen,

First of all, PLEASE take some deep breaths. Those of us with kids older have so BTDT and everything you are going through is very normal and NOT a reflection of you in anyway. It's all a part of their development. That being said;

In regards to the nap situation, the way I knew that Arwen was ready is that she was playing in her crib during the morning nap. She was loud and obviously had a lot of energy to still burn. At first I tried putting her down a little earlier thinking she was over tired but the fact was, she was ready to drop that nap or to have it at least pushed back another 1.5-2 hours. Unfortunately, Lorien was NOT ready to give up her morning nap so there was a good 2.5 months where they were rarely napping together. It was exhausting to say the least but I also enjoyed having one on one time with them. And lets face it, having only one to look after for a couple of hours is easier than two so it was "sort of" a break. By about 14.5 months, I had them on the same nap schedule as I was able to push Lorien's nap a little later a little bit at a time.

As for the stroller. My girls are HORRIBLE stroller babies. Have been since they were about 1. Once they could really crawl, they hated the stroller but once they could walk, fuhgettaboutit! My mall days have been over for a loooooong time. I just couldn't take it anymore. If I ever stopped for a moment, they cried bloody murder. It became a very un-enjoyable event so I stopped going. Shopping in general is very difficult with them. I can get away with the stroller if I am doing an in and out 5-10 minute kind of thing. Sometimes even then it is aweful. What I do now is either go on the weekends when they nap (with dh home) or I will take ONE of them with me which is much easier. My girls actually are a little more tolerable of shopping carts for some reason. Guess it's the height and feeling they are more on top of things and a little more free. Sam's Club is great because they have the double shopping carts and my girls do pretty good in those. But they still don't want to sit for too long. I think our major stroller days are over. I may have to try out one of those wagons instead.

As for the tantrums, many of them I have come to ignore. The major reason is that I don't want them to think it's ok to do it everytime they don't get their way. Otherwise they just increase. I tell them "When you calm down I will be ready to talk to you." When one steals a toy, sometimes I will intervene if I don't see they are able to work it out. If they are both having a fit that I can't calm down the toy get taken away and they eventually move on to something else. The only time I will pick them up during a tantrum is when we are out somewhere (like the park) and it is time to leave and they are having a meltdown/tantrum. Then I have to sometimes actually carry them like a football kicking and screaming. I just keep saying "I know you are upset. But we have to leave."

I found 15 months to be a very trying time. They are trying to gain more and more independence (which continues and worsens, sorry) and while they may comprehend more language they still have a way to go on being able to speak it and that is very frustrating for them. As their language develops it will get so much easier. Our big thing now in dealing with tantrums, and whining is to say, "I'm sorry I don't understand what you are saying. Please use your big girl voice." and so far that has worked very well. They may still start off whining but I will NOT give in to whining because otherwise it will go on and on and on.

HTH GL

 

We're still on two naps, and will be for quite a while, I think. They didn't even go from 3 to 2 until after their birthday!

We've got tantrums too. How I deal with it really depends on the situation. Sometimes I ignore, sometimes I give some low-key comforting and/or talk quietly and calmly ("Yes, you're very frustrated"), sometimes I break out the ultimate Ctrl-Alt-Delete: nursing. It depends on what triggered the tantrum, what the overall mood is, what else is going on... When they start fighting with each other, I often give them a chance to work it out on their own before intervening - but if one is about to bite the other, I do intervene.

Don't know about the stroller issue, because mine love the stroller! I got lucky with that one. Are there any fun toys you can attach to the stroller to keep them busy?

 

Thanks for all these great suggestions! Looks like I have some interesting times ahead of me very soon.

 

I have 15 month girls also. Sounds like you are not alone out there! I have also heard that you should wait until they stop napping consistently for one or both naps. One of my girls did this for about 4 days in a row, so I tried moving the am nap back a bit. What I got was a lot of wanting to fall asleep during the day and crankiness. Not sure if that is just part of the process or what, but I decided to go back to 2 naps and she is sleeping again. I'm thinking it might have been teething or something. My other girl is definately not ready.

My Alyson is totally starting to tantrum. She throws herself on the floor and recently started lightly hitting her head on the floor. Not good. Last twin mom meeting I went to there were lots of moms talking about their 20ish month olds doing this(tantrums, head banging), so it must be pretty common. I have been kind of ignoring this behavior also. I would like more advice on this also. I don't want a 15 year old tantruming in the other room b/c we always just ignored it. Hopefully the no attention will work and not backfire.

Strollers: Mine are mostly only happy when we are moving. They love walks, but shopping is another thing entirely-as said above by someone-we do short trips-quick grocery lists or we are just out to get out-not shop. I haven't tried the food thing yet b/c mine are in to tossing things on the ground right now. I too always want to know how those other women w/ 1 year olds get their babies to so peacefully shop in the stroller!

Good luck! Hope it helps to know that there are many of us out there dealing with this stuff.

 

I also have 15 mo old twins

QUOTE
How do I know when to transition to just one nap? Everyone keeps telling me that they'll let me know when they are ready, how will they do that?


For us, they were having difficulty falling asleep at night. They would linger and cry for over and hour or more, when they hadn't done that previously. We tried putting them down late morning and they typically take a 2-3 hour nap and are now back to going to bed by 7 p.m. without laying there for an hour. They now fall right asleep.

With my DD, she didn't transition to 2 naps until 20 months, so every child is different in this regard.

QUOTE
Both girls are starting to throw little tantrums if things don't go their way (toys stolen from sister, being told no, something in their way, etc). Do I just ignore the tantrums or pick them up when they are screaming bloody murder?


It depends. With the "toys stolen" tantrum, I try to talk them through it. If they are just having a tantrum because they don't like "no" or things aren't going their way, yes, I do try to ignore.

QUOTE
They seem to HATE being in their strollers and being out and about shopping with mommy and daddy or running errands. Will this stop?? We go to the store and I see others babies arounds their age sitting so nice in their strollers, why can't ours?


I think all kids are different with this. My daughter was a joy to bring out, my twins - not so much. They get pretty antsy fast. I try to keep my trips to quick jaunts. I make sure I have plenty of things to distract them; crackers, snack trap, sippy with water or milk, toys, etc. otherwise it's not very pleasant.

Hang in there, it's a tough age. So much new and wonderful things to exlore!!

 

I appreciate all of your advice, its nice to know that I am not the only mom with twins like this! I guess its just another one of twins' many challenges . . . stressful yet exciting.

Thanks,
Jen

 

Ah, I remember the "I thought it would get easier" days.
For me, around 2 1/2 it DID get easier, but from birth to then each new stage was just "different" not easier. So hang in there, it will get easier, but probably not as soon as you think.