So frustrated!

I am about to lose my marbles! For the past 20 months my twins took turns wanting to spend time with me, which was really nice. In fact one would be needy for weeks or months and then they'd switch. Now a few days ago they decided that they would both want me at the same time and it's been absolutely horrible. My one daughter, Giana, has always tended to be more needy overall and more whiny when she doesn't get her own way, while Alana has been the opposite. So now, when I'm holding Giana and dancing, her sister comes over to be held too (something that never happened in the past), I pick up Alana and Giana automatically throws her back, slides down my leg, throws herself on the floor, and proceeds to have an all out fit! Alana doesn't mind sharing me, but Giana does and its been sheer torture!

So please, anyone that's gone through this, what did you do? I don't feel it's right to not pick up Alana and that I'm making myself available to hold both of them. I feel like I'm doing all I can and that Giana will basically have to get over this and realize she's not an only child. But then on the other hand, I feel bad that she's feeling like this. She did kind of go through this about 6mo ago but then Alana just stopped needing me as much and it got better. But now that they're older, the fits are worse and longer...and there's no guarantee that Alana will give up again. AHHHHHH, I'm just so frustrated with them today that I'm not sure what to do. Again, any advice would be great...thanks!!

 

I've been going through this as well and lately I've been ignoring it. They are old enough now where they can understand the concept of sharing (a little bit at least.) I explain to them that I'm only one mommy and if they can't share me, then they can't spend time with me. It's gotten a lot better, but patience is key here. Just keep explaining it to them they will get it! Good luck!

 

I am going through it too! My Isaac and Isabelle are wanting just me! they will try pushing each other over trying to get to me. Which feels good because my husband doesnt do that LOL! But I figure that they are realizing that they are growing up and want to me to know they still need my love. What I do is tell one that I will not pick him/her and just hold one and talk to them when that one gets down I pick another one up.
I am enjoying them it is annoying because it is hard to be there for all 4 kids. But I try to show one a toy and take the other.
You can also try just playing with them both so they see the need to be playing with each other. I say it works for me.
I say the trade the toy for a baby is working for me. and if they dont want it I know mines want something to eat.

 

When my two would be jealous of who was spending time with me, I would also ignore the tantrum and when the other one was done with their time on my lap, I would get the other child. Sometimes I would sit them both in front of me and we would read a book, color together or play with a toy together.

 

My guys went through a phase like this; if I was holding one, the other would grab onto his brother's leg and say "Nate (or Jack) down!". Usually I would go and sit with both of them on my lap and read for a bit so they could both get some mama cuddles. Occasionally I would pick them both up, 1 on each hip, and rock with them for a few minutes, but they are getting way too heavy to do that now!

 

glad to hear i'm not alone with my frustations! unfortunately though it sounds like i'm already doing the things you are all doing...i try to incorporate both of them with things like reading but my one (giana) doesn't like to share my lap, hip, or any other part of me with her sister...if she's on my lap and her sister comes and plops down next to her then she'll get off and go throw a fit about it...i know she just has to get over it but it's not a whole lot of fun right now...and to make matters worse, i know that alana comes to me alot just to make her sister mad...kind of funny how she already figured out how to do that but not so funny after awhile...oh well, guess i just have to live with it until one or both give up on wanting me so much...in fact the sad part is that they do better when i'm not in the room with them! :headbang:

 

I do this also. Mine are 15 months and exhibit the same things. It doesn't matter if Daddy is home they always want to be all over me and then get angry and cry when they can't have just one of them laying with me. I generally try, if possible, to position them on me, laying down, in such a way that both boys can have equal share of me. It's hard because then one of them will hurt the other trying to kick him away from me and then once one cries they both cry. But, I do tend to deal with the most needy child first and let the other one throw a temper tantrum (which usually goes away very quickly and he's off doing other things, which gives me time to cuddle the neediest of the two.

Fortunately with me if I can make on laugh and giggle the other will too even if he's not right up on me.

Good luck!