So confused

Today was the last day of school for my kids. I got their report cars and I do understand that they are just finishing Kindergarten but I saw some things that I was pretty shocked about.

Madeline's report card was a glowing tribute to how much she has blossomed in K. Reading well above level, participates all the time in class, follows directions well, etc.

Connor's report card I was shocked. From the middle of the year to the end he has gone downhill in so many things and is not following directions, not listening, not staying on task, etc. all things he was doing at the beginning of the year.

Could this be some issues starting to rear their head- like ADD or another learning disability or am I overreacting? I know that most of the time they won't try to diagnose ADD/ADHD until children are older but should I let the doctor know now so we can stay on top of it? Suggestions would be great!

 

Can you talk to the teacher for clarification on exactly what has been going on in class? and her professional opinion?

I can't believe this is the first you are hearing of this - I would be very upset the school hadn't let me know earlier that this was happening.

 

I would also talk to the teacher and the counselor. It would be quite suprising if this was the first time they had thought to mention this. I would think as far as ADD/ADHD, it would have been a constant problem all year, not a gradual downhill slide.

Thinking about it, I can see Timothy's future report cards saying that. Timothy is very reserved and attentive and cautious when he gets in new situations and around new people. And then he pushes this button just to see what happens. If he gets away with that, he takes it a step further. And on, and on, and on.... Till all of a sudden you realize that you have a misbehaving kid and wonder at what point it happened.

Marissa

 

How is he doing academically? My DD sailed through the first part of K, but stumbled and started a downward spiral when they switched from learning letters, to learning sounds and blends. In her case she had undiagnosed hearing loss due to long term fluid build up. We didn't learn how serious her grades were getting until Spring Break when the teacher started talking about holding her back. We were shocked as this was the first we had heard anything about it. Before you assume it is going to be something long term like ADD/ADHD, get his hearing and his vision checked. If he had a hard time with either of these items, he could just be acting out of frustration.

 

QUOTE
I can't believe this is the first you are hearing of this - I would be very upset the school hadn't let me know earlier that this was happening.


That was my first thought, too. You should not be learning about problems when you receive the last report card.

Sorry, I don't have any advice. I hope you can talk to the teacher and find out more details.

 

Thanks everyone, I am going to email his teacher and ask about the issues.

I met with the teacher for conferences and at both (beginning & middle of the year) she said he has trouble staying focused, but she was able to get him to refocus after a few minutes. Connor does have some very slight hearing loss but only on very low sounds which the doctor said is due to him being on a ventilator for 6 weeks. I am going to get both of the kids vision checked over the summer since I was in 1st grade when I needed glasses.

 

QUOTE(jenn- @ Jun 12 2009, 11:57 PM) [snapback]1352643[/snapback]
How is he doing academically? My DD sailed through the first part of K, but stumbled and started a downward spiral when they switched from learning letters, to learning sounds and blends. In her case she had undiagnosed hearing loss due to long term fluid build up. We didn't learn how serious her grades were getting until Spring Break when the teacher started talking about holding her back. We were shocked as this was the first we had heard anything about it. Before you assume it is going to be something long term like ADD/ADHD, get his hearing and his vision checked. If he had a hard time with either of these items, he could just be acting out of frustration.


He did great in the beginning of the year, and his reading is above average. From what it looks like not only from his teacher but the other teachers (art, gym, etc.) is that he isn't listening or following directions.

 

one of our twins has adhd. i have a degree in child & devel. psych & was taught children could be diagnosed after preschool (age 4). dh was hesitant to test our son that early even though i knew he would be diagnosed as having adhd so we waited until the middle of k, by which time dh was on board because of academic problems that our son started to have that were not getting better with intensive tutoring. at our testing appt. i asked the neurologist how much sooner he could have been tested (mostly out of curiosity in case future children showed signs, but also so i could stick my tongue out at dh since i was pretty annoyed that he had insisted on waiting until things had escalated into a big problem academically). she said 4 is the average she suggests but that some kids could be diagnosed as early as 3. i would disagree with testing a 3 year old even though our son showed signs at 3 simply because i would not medicate my 3 year old so the diagnosis would be a moot point, but i'm not an M.D. i will say that we medicated our son at the age of 6 (middle of K) & there was an immediate difference in him from the 1st pill. he improved in school, was able to go from 4 hours of tutoring & 2 hours of speech per week to only doing speech 2 hours a week, his temper outbursts & drastic mood swings stopped & most importantly said he felt more in control of his thoughts & could concentrate. we asked him if he wanted to keep taking the meds & he said yes. i'm adding this because sometimes people view giving add/adhd meds to children negatively because it seems like everyone is doing it, but when they are truly needed they are life changing.

some things to look for if you think add/adhd is a problem would be inability to stay on task or follow instruction, frustration when given a task that requires concentration, hyperness beyond what is considered "normal" or "average", not being able to sit still, complaints about not liking school, signs of distress when accomplishing a task (crying, grabbing his head, hair pulling, anger, etc.), outbursts of anger with or without violence, remarkable mood swings & "defiance" (which really is an inability to comply, not your child wanting to be difficult even though it seems that way sometimes). if you decide to have him tested reports from his teachers documenting problems they have seen is really helpful. if you receive an adhd diagnosis & need meds ask your doctor about a low med dose of a non-addictive drug (concerta is an example)- children build a tolerance to addictive drugs so they need more & more of it for it to be effective. the addictive ones can also be really bad for their teeth.

like pp, i would be really upset that i had not heard anything from his school before. it doesn't seem right or conducive to your son's development for them to let that go on for half of a year & then only tell you on his end of the year report. i think expressing disappointment over that to the director would be reasonable so that some other child doesn't have the same thing happen. i hope that you can identify what your son's struggles are & that he can have a great year next year.

 

Actually, Dani, he is at the age when most kids are first diagnosed. One reason, unless a child has a severe attention issue that they don't want to diagnose with AD/HD earlier is because they want to wait and see how the child responds in a classroom situation.

Slightly off topic, but not totally: I have always said that if I ever went back to school, I would like to do a research project on early anesthesia as it relates to learning disabilities and AD/HD--especially in children who had surgeries early on. My hypotesis is that there is some cause/effect that causes these kids to end up with learning disabilies and/or AD/HD. My point being, that with Connor's medical history, I wouldn't be surprised that he ends up with one or both diagnoses--and at his age, they "look" pretty much the same. It could be that he started loosing attention when the work got harder for him, and it wasn't so easy to keep up.

I would definately look into getting an eval for him--there is no downside, if he doesn't qualify for anything, you know he is OK. If he does qualify, then he can get the help he needs to be successful!

Good luck!

 

QUOTE(Haley @ Jun 13 2009, 03:04 PM) [snapback]1352913[/snapback]
some things to look for if you think add/adhd is a problem would be inability to stay on task or follow instruction, frustration when given a task that requires concentration, hyperness beyond what is considered "normal" or "average", not being able to sit still, complaints about not liking school, signs of distress when accomplishing a task (crying, grabbing his head, hair pulling, anger, etc.), outbursts of anger with or without violence, remarkable mood swings & "defiance" (which really is an inability to comply, not your child wanting to be difficult even though it seems that way sometimes). if you decide to have him tested reports from his teachers documenting problems they have seen is really helpful. if you receive an adhd diagnosis & need meds ask your doctor about a low med dose of a non-addictive drug (concerta is an example)- children build a tolerance to addictive drugs so they need more & more of it for it to be effective. the addictive ones can also be really bad for their teeth.

You just described my 9 yr old. He does okay at school, depending on the teacher and the level of expectation that you keep your butt in your seat. If he's allowed to move around a lot he does a bit better. He is outright defiant here at home, always has been. I've only had one teacher mention anything about ADD/ADHD and she was older, retired but filling in as a long term sub so I chalked it up to his strong will and her "old school" style. Now I'm second guessing myself. Guess it's time to get him evaluated....

 

QUOTE(ktfan @ Jun 13 2009, 10:37 AM) [snapback]1352938[/snapback]
You just described my 9 yr old. He does okay at school, depending on the teacher and the level of expectation that you keep your butt in your seat. If he's allowed to move around a lot he does a bit better. He is outright defiant here at home, always has been. I've only had one teacher mention anything about ADD/ADHD and she was older, retired but filling in as a long term sub so I chalked it up to his strong will and her "old school" style. Now I'm second guessing myself. Guess it's time to get him evaluated....



like sharon said there is no down side to an eval. if he doesn't have it then you know he's ok & don't have to worry or wonder anymore & if he does then you can work with your doctor to help him in whatever way he needs. if he is doing ok in school & you & his teachers are ok with his activeness then even after an eval you might consider holding off on meds if he is diagnosed with it. some parents choose not to medicate until there is problem academically & some people stop taking their meds once they finish school if there add/hd doesn't hinder with their daily lives or jobs. we only give them to our son during the school week. during summer, weekends, & school breaks he doesn't take it simply because the activeness doesn't bother us & he isn't having to focus on school work then (although this only works with drugs like his that don't have to build up in the system to work).

 

QUOTE(sharongl @ Jun 13 2009, 11:22 AM) [snapback]1352927[/snapback]
Actually, Dani, he is at the age when most kids are first diagnosed. One reason, unless a child has a severe attention issue that they don't want to diagnose with AD/HD earlier is because they want to wait and see how the child responds in a classroom situation.

Slightly off topic, but not totally: I have always said that if I ever went back to school, I would like to do a research project on early anesthesia as it relates to learning disabilities and AD/HD--especially in children who had surgeries early on. My hypotesis is that there is some cause/effect that causes these kids to end up with learning disabilies and/or AD/HD. My point being, that with Connor's medical history, I wouldn't be surprised that he ends up with one or both diagnoses--and at his age, they "look" pretty much the same. It could be that he started loosing attention when the work got harder for him, and it wasn't so easy to keep up.

I would definately look into getting an eval for him--there is no downside, if he doesn't qualify for anything, you know he is OK. If he does qualify, then he can get the help he needs to be successful!

Good luck!


Thanks so much Sharon! I have wondered if there would be any issues from the sedation and other things Connor had while he was in the hospital. I'm not too surprised that it is starting to show up now, I just wish that the teacher had said something especially because she knows about Connor's medical history.

I think it is exactly that he has lost interest because it isn't easy even though he is very intelligent. I am definitely going to mention to the doctor's at CHOP on Tuesday and to the pediatrician in July when they go for their 6 year checkups.

 

QUOTE(Haley @ Jun 13 2009, 11:04 AM) [snapback]1352913[/snapback]
some things to look for if you think add/adhd is a problem would be inability to stay on task or follow instruction, frustration when given a task that requires concentration, hyperness beyond what is considered "normal" or "average", not being able to sit still, complaints about not liking school, signs of distress when accomplishing a task (crying, grabbing his head, hair pulling, anger, etc.), outbursts of anger with or without violence, remarkable mood swings & "defiance" (which really is an inability to comply, not your child wanting to be difficult even though it seems that way sometimes). if you decide to have him tested reports from his teachers documenting problems they have seen is really helpful. if you receive an adhd diagnosis & need meds ask your doctor about a low med dose of a non-addictive drug (concerta is an example)- children build a tolerance to addictive drugs so they need more & more of it for it to be effective. the addictive ones can also be really bad for their teeth.


Thank you! He does have a problem staying on task, following multiple directions at one time, losing focus during certain times in class, he definitely can be defiant. I thought a lot of it is normal 5 yr. old boy behavior but now I'm really wondering. I am going to see about getting a referral to get him evaluated for ADD/ADHD.

Thanks!