So backwards! Please help!

hi Ladies,

I haven't posted here in a very long time. I have twin DS's that will be 2 in April and I have a 5 month old DS... so I think we are very backwards and I'm wondering if you have any advice for me and/or if you have gone through the same thing...

DS has done this since birth, but he continually fights feedings.. it's among the reasons we stopped breastfeeding and it is the reason (I think) sleep has always been an ongoing battle... he is in the upper ranges with weight and height percentiles.. and we have worked very hard to keep them that way!

I think because the girls are so crazy during the day and he wants to be in the middle of everything and probably is very distractable he doesn't eat very well during the day.. we keep going through these very hard rough spots where he eats more at night than during the day. The longest span he will usually sleep is 4-5 hours.. that's a very good night of sleep for us. He NEVER takes the first morning bottle after he wakes at 7am and the 3pm bottle he will only take about an ounce of.. at night he ALWAYS eats... we are very backwards and it is killing us after this much time has gone by with sleep deprivation!Most nights he will only go about 2-3 hours without waking.. sometimes we test him out and see if he will go back to sleep.. it's usually hit or miss..

Our ped asked what the longest he has ever slept and we told him 8 hours.. he said to let him CIO for the 8 hours and he will correct himself with eating throughout the day.. we are very rigid with our girls with sleep scheduling and they were AWFUL with sleeping until we CIO at 4 months.. please no lectures about not CIO.. we are well aware of both sides of the issue and we have had much success with our girls with it.. BUT I'm a bit hesitant to do it with him if he is eating so readily.. I don't want to deprive him of calories. We do CIO for naps with him and he is a very good napper..

Any thoughts??

 

I had a similar issue with my girls. I did a variation of the technique in the book '12 Hour Sleep by 12 Weeks' to get them to gradually eat more during the day and less at night. It took 2 weeks and then they were no longer eating at night and stopped snacking during the day. It involves letting them cry but only until the next "feeding time" so you are not ignoring their hunger. I'll try to explain how I did it.

If on night #1 he eats at 7pm (bedtime) and sleeps until 11pm this becomes the earliest you are allowed to do night feeding #1. If he wakes up the next night at 10pm you let him cry until 11, then go feed him.

Now let's say on night #3 he sleeps from 7pm until 12am, the earliest you are allowed to do night feed #1 is now midnight, if he wakes before this, you let him cry.

This gradually pushes each night feed later and allows them to start to increase their intake during the day. When I started this with my girls they were 5 months old and eating anywhere from 2-4 times during the night and hardly ever finishing bottles during the day. After 2 weeks they were not eating between 10pm and 5am anymore and were finishing bottles during the day.

I hope this made sense . I know I had a hard time doing CIO when I thought they were hungry but found this to be a balance of the two. GL!!!

 

Sebastian is 4 months and up until last week was the EXACT same as your baby. He is NOT a good eater. The most he has taken from me during the day in one feeding is 3 oz! He's 16lbs and 25 inches so he's big. He is a HORRENDOUS eater. And I'm absolutely certain it's cuz of all of the distractions here. In the middle of the night, he'd wake up after sleeping like 8 hours and POUND six ounces (So.. his LARGEST and most consistent feeding!!)

I figured at this rate, he would NEVER STTN cuz of the fact that he was soo NOT eating during the day and SLAMMING a huge feeding . The boys STTN at 12 weeks and were doing 12.5 hours STRAIGHT but they were taking like 8 oz a feeding!!

Apples to oranges.

MIRACULOUSLY, on his 4 month due date (he was one week early but it does matter), he did 13 hours NO FEEDINGs! So. It happened AND he wasn't/isnn't even starving when he wakes up! He's weird like that though. He's not ever super hungry. So, once I knew he could so IF he ever slipped up our plan was/is to just rebink him and NOT feed him.

So far, it's been a week. 12 or 13 hours straight and honestly.. he hasn't really increased his daytime feedings! I have no idea how to explain it but I'll take it.

Doc says he's not worried cuz he's soo big!

I am not sure if this helps or not but I am pro CIO and am going to do it for naps now. He tends to sleep a lot during the day but it's piecey and I hate it cuz we can't plan anything!

 

Thank you ladies!GemelliBoys- it's nice to know that things can turn around! E's3.. so helpful! We tried it last night and so far so good.. I am also trying to up the amount of ounces he takes during the day when he does take a bottle (i.e., from 6oz to 7oz).. this way there is no debate as to whether he needs to eat at night... does anyone know how much a 5-6 month old should take ounces-wise with bottles? He is around 32-34 ounces per day..

 

We have this problem with one of the twins. They are 6 months old now, and one of them likes to get up every 2 hours during the night. He BFs (other twin is bottle fed, would not latch). When I am at work he will not drink more than 4 ounces at a time. He is about 21 pounds, so I know he needs more than that. I think he reverse cycles so he can BF at night. I like the BF relationship, but really really need my sleep.

Last week we sort of did what E's3 talked about. Essentially we are dropping one feeding at a time. We go up and give them both bottles when we go to bed. We want them to be nice and full. This is the only bottle he drinks that is more than 4 ounces, it is usually 5-6. Then he was getting up at 12, 2, 4 and up for the day at 6. We let him CIO the 12am wake-up. He cried for 2 nights, woke briefly and whined for 2 nights, then slept through. We will go with this for a while then drop one of the other feedings. He is going from 10-2 or 2:30 now, then up at 5:30, then back down until 7.

Last night he woke again at 12:30, not sure why. Hoping it was a fluke.

 

32 oz a day is more than enough! Kayci never took more than 24 oz in 24 hours at her time of highest intake (shortly before starting solids). That leads me into...

Two of my kiddos weren't 21 lbs til well after a year old. No need to stress calories if the babies are already big (not big in a negative way, just big enough that growth isn't an issue). Kayci was tiny and didn't want to eat so I stressed her intake for a while.


I used the "you've gone x hours without eating at night, we no longer will feed in less than that amount of time" with great success. It meant many nights of binkies/soothing, but led to great sleepers and good daytime eaters.

 

We do not stress calories, LOL. We know he gets enough and is growing.

We have gotten the boys down to a bottle at 1- when we go to bed, and they wake around 3 for another feed. It is interesting that since he has dropped feedings during the night he has increased his daytime bottles to 6 ounces. We will stick with this schedule for a while, then eventually drop one of those feeds. I feel a little more rested, although it seems one of them is always waking and making noise and going back to sleep. That wakes me too.

How is the original poster doing?