Slight depression or just normal feelings for this stage of my life?

Just a little background....My boys will be 6 months old on the 5th. I also have a daughter that will be 3 at the end of July and I work a full time job (M-F 8:30 to 4). Beginning next week I'm dropping back to a 4 day work week. My husband is gone from 7:00 to 6:30ish for work.

My boys are great...really good babies. I couldn't have asked for better kids. They're still not sleeping all night, but we finally have them in bed around 8:00..so it's a trade off we're okay with.

I have been trying to decide since the boys were born (or maybe even before when I was on couch arrest) if I have a touch of depression, or if I'm just overwhelmed with life. How do you determine that? I mean, some days I'm fine, but other days I just find myself checking out inside. I just have so much going on with the kids, work, money (huge issue now that we're paying for sitters for 3), the interrupted sleep every night for 6 months, the struggle of having 3 kids and the changes that come along with that-you name it.

My daughter has totally taken advantage of the fact that for the last couple of months the boys had a difficult time being put to bed (I believe that had undiagnosed reflux which seems to have settled down) and we completely lost track of bedtiem for her. Now it's a HUGE issue to try and get her to bed, but neither of us seems to have the energy to deal with the fits and the screaming that are going to happen when we force her back to bed at 8:30. I actually found myself sobbing last night at 11:00 because of the situation. Now that the boys are in bed at 8:00 I know we have to take control back so my husband and I can have a little time together at night, but I just don't have it in me.

I made an appointment to see my doctor to talk about it- I can't stand trying to analyze it anymore! Some days I think it's just life. Other days I think it's just life, maybe with a bit of something else. My mother thinks I need to have my thyroid checked (lol..she always thinks it's a thyroid)..but I'm just wondered if anyone else experienced feeling like this??

 

I think being a mom is the hardest thing I've ever done! Give me a classroom full of kindergartners and I'm fine, but my toddlers? I'm a mess. I'm glad you are going to see the Dr. They will be the best judge for you. There is nothing wrong with asking for help and I'm glad you recognize that you may need some. For your DD, just be as consistent as possible and it shouldn't take too long to get her back on track. :hug:

 

I'm no doctor and I don't know what the technical definition was . . . but I sure have felt that way. When DS was this age and I had two under two I cried almost every day. I still just get so tired and tired of trying to function all day while tired. Sleep deprivation feels a lot like depression, I understand.

With the twins I seem to be handling things a bit better, though. I've learned to cut myself a lot more slack, not to get down on myself because I'm not doing all the things I think I should be doing. (Not reading anything about how to have better behaved children, a neater house, etc. . . that just depresses me worse. I stick to reading stuff that makes me laugh.) Also as my older kids have gotten a little bit older I have a little more perspective on how quickly these things will pass and I will have more energy again and be able to do more than just survive. And I just cut out everything that isn't absolutely necessary and take the time to rest. I can keep a neater house and cook better meals next year.

Getting blood work might be a good idea and making sure you have good nutritional support even if everything comes back normal. Your body has been through a lot and needs time to recover. Your mind is dealing with a lot and needs time to recover. It's really hard but it will get better. You will get your daughter back to her proper bedtime again. (Heh, we need to do that around here, too.) The babies will start sleeping through the night. They'll start walking and not have to be carried everywhere. They'll even be potty trained someday! (really!)

Personally, I avoid medication at all cost (to a rather ridiculous degree, I'll admit) so I have no advice there. Still, doing what you can to build your body up and rest your mind should be the foundation for anything, I would think.

 

I'm really glad that you called your doctor! It's great that you are taking that pressure off of yourself, and letting the doctor decide if there is something going on. It could be your thyroid, many women have thyroid issues PP, so it's wise to get that checked too.

As far as your daughter, I agree, just be consistent and things will settle back down.

:hug:

 

I can remember feeling very emotional and frustrated after the twins were born. You are not alone in how you feel. Kudos to you for contacting your doctor to have yourself checked out.

 

I felt like what you are describing, and a little worse for the first 3 months. I went to my doc who referred me to a psychiatrist and was diagnosed pdd. I began medication and WHAT A DIFFERENCE!! I am so happy now and truly love my life. Good luck, everything will work out and get better.

 

I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. You are sooooo not alone in this.

In terms of your older child, we’ve just cracked down with ours after the twins were born. Those months of being REALLY pregnant spill over into the chaos of the first few months of twinhood and for us, DS really just got to do whatever he wanted – in terms of bedtime, chores, rules and all around behavio. I finally got all Supernanny on him over the past three weeks and it has made such a difference! For a couple days that poor kid walked back and forth from time out so many times, but now he’s returned to his old self again. Just needed that structure and consistency that we simply couldn’t offer until now.

I too can completely relate to that not being sure feeling. I’ve thought about going in from time to time, but then I always end up feeling better and I feel silly for saying anything. If only you could be sitting there at the dr. when you’re feeling saddest! But it never seems to work out that way. For me at least. I would just suggest that you tell the dr. exactly what you said here. That sometimes it’s horrible and sometimes you’re fine, but nonetheless you sometimes feel XYZ, ya know?

it's good to talk about though. Sending big hugs....it will get better!!!!

 

Like PP said, cutting yourself some slack is really important. It's still great that you're self-aware enough to go talk to your doctor. I think the sleep deprivation and the life changes combine with your regular stresses to really wreak havoc on your life. My girls are three weeks old and I've started to wonder if I need to talk to the doctor, too. Hang in there and do what you feel is best. *hugs*

 

Yesterday I thought I was losing my mind. I realized my DH wouldn't be home for 8 more days and I cried for two hours. I think having twins is so overwhelming. I find myself wavering between "people don't realize how hard this is" and "I am not as organized, energetic, put together, etc as other moms."

Your life sounds so busy and overwhelming right now between kids, work, and everyday responsibilities. Be kind to yourself. Ask for help. Remember to be selfish every once in a while, take care of you. Great job making a Dr appt. Hope it helps. Hang in there. I think your emotions are completely appropriate to the situation.