Sleepless nights

Help, Help, Help! My boys are 15 months and one or the other or both ;o< wake up still once a night! Is this typical? Any advice on what to do or how to manage? They are both in the same room so I really worry about one waking the other so as soon as one starts I'm up to get him and rock him back to sleep. . . I've tried to let them cry it out but 45 minutes later I cave ;o(
I need some advice/encouragement/sanity please?

 

O.k., I just went back to a post I did back in August where they WERE sleeping through the night. . . WHAT HAPPENED??

 

How long has this been going on? Are they getting teeth?

If everything is ok healthwise, I would let them CIO. I know it's hard but at 15 months they know if they cry, you'll come. Another idea would be to just go in their room, but do not pick them up. Just lay them back down in their crib and rub their backs. The first time you can speak to them, but if you need to go back in don't talk to them. Hopefully within a week they will realize that they will need to go back to sleep on their own.

I've had to do this a few times during the 2nd year. It usually happens right after they have been sick because they are used to me checking on them.

 

Every once in awhile my boys will do this, but it is always has a reason....they are teething, too hot, too cold, sneezed all over their face, lost thier lovey etc. I have found that if one of them is fussing in the night it RARELY wakes the other one up since they are so used to hearing each other. I have learned that if I go in, it just starts the cycle. They won't cry forever, eventually they will fall asleep even if it is an hour or more later. The next night it will be less since they will start to realize you aren't coming into their room. My boys totally try to use crying in the night as a way for us to go and get them so if we continue to do it, they continue to cry for us. It's always worse the couple nights after a cold since they have gotten used to me checking on them while they are sick.

 

my thought was teething... I think ours were getting their 1st set of molars at 15 months, and there was LOTS of sleepless nights... especially since they didn't always cut them on the same nights!

otherwise, the reasons I've found that ours wake in the night is that their day was out of sorts for whatever reason. either they missed a nap, or stayed up too late etc.

good luck. I'm no good w/CIO... seems there's always some sort of problem for my babies... but when its a trend that is continuing night after night, you have to do something. are you feeding them in the night when they wake? I breastfeed, and at some point when they were fussy fussy, I would start offering a bottle of water. well, that wasn't really what they wanted... and within a few days they did start sleeping longer.

I also went through a phase of giving them a banana before bedtime or something to fill them up a little more to tie them over until morning.

 

Do you have a pack n' play so they can sleep in separate rooms for the one that doesn't wake up? I would recommend CIO because at 15 months they really should have been sleeping through the night a long time ago. Hope you get a full night's sleep soon!

 

When my girls started doing this - we did CIO. And it went on for TWO HOURS. I had to just leave her in there. If I went in, the cycle would start over and last longer. I'd sit next to the door to make sure she didn't throw up, but other than that I had to leave her be. 2 days later she was sleeping through.

Now, my son (17 months) has been doing this to my poor DH for a couple months.. He'll cry, Dh is scared he'll wake his sisters (3) so he'll run in, and then Ben won't let DH put him down, so they end up in the living room watching TV from 1 a.m. till morning.

Last weekend I had enough. I stayed up ALL night, and went in when he'd fuss. The first time, I'd give him a bottle and rock him to sleep and put him in his bed (he's in a toddler bed) 2nd time, I let him go for 5 minutes, then went in, rocked him till he was drowsy, and put him back in his bed. He started to get up and cry, but I just patted his back and stayed there till he went back to sleep. 3rd time, I waited 10 minutes. I really didn't need to do that cuz right at the 5 minute mark he stopped fussing and figured I wasn't coming in. The next night, same thing, only after he went to sleep the first time, he didn't make a PEEP until 4 a.m. Let him be, and at like 3 minutes he quited down and went back to sleep.
He's been peep free and STTN since Sunday.

Now, back to his sisters... LOL The one started letting herself out of her room and asking for crackers. Got my DH hooked (again) to middle of the night TV watching. So since I was done with my son, I went back to her last night. WOuldn't let DH up out of the bed. She cried on and off for 4 hours (I think) last night. I was drifting in and out of sleep trying to listen to make sure she didn't throw up or anythign like that. I'm hoping tonite we can be down to only an hour or less, we'll see - but she DEFINETLY takes more time, and work, then her other sister OR brother!

I don't ever WANT to leave her in there fussing/crying/screaming for THAT long, but like I said, if we go in there, with her it starts the cycle over again and ten fold worse. BTW, her and her sister still share a room, and her sister is able to sleep through all of that non-sense with no problems..

 

Could your boys be teething? That was my first thought.

We [finally] got ours to STTN at around 13 mos. And then around 14.5 mos they started an 8-teeth teething phase [4-molars and 4-canines all at once!]. They had a rough 1.5 - 2 months And now that they've all poked through they seem to be sleeping better [Thankfully!] Poor things. Tylenol/motrin 15 mins before bed and then again when they woke during the night. I always feel weird about giving pain meds on a daily basis so I'd have them tough it out during the day [unless they were handling it really poorly] and give the meds during the night.

Good luck! This is not an easy task.

 

I agree with what everyone is saying here. I just wanted to add, that you mentioned you cave in after about 45 minutes. If you are going to do CIO, you cannot cave in or they'll learn that if they hold out longer, you'll come in. I did CIO where I'd go in at first in 5 minutes. I would avoid holding them if they didnt' need it, but I would if they asked. But only for a second. I never did get them used to being rocked to sleep. It was more a cuddle and goodnight. If they cried more, then in 10 minutes I'd go in and I would not hold them. I'd give them their lovey and paci and goodnight. I'd barely say anything. I wouldn't not even look in to their eyes. Hard to do, I know, but that way they would start to understand that this was bedtime and I'm not cuddling with them any longer. If they continued to cry, then in 15 minutes later, I'd check in on them and make sure everything was good...again no eye contact, just a check to make sure no doodies, or caught legs. After that, it would be another 20 minutes later. If it got to having to wait half an hour or longer, I'd just not go in. That is how they learned a long time ago. Now, it's rare they wake up. But if it's teething, a headache, belly ache, nightmares (that happens around this age), night terrors (Kiefer get those rarely now), too dark in their room, can't find their lovey's or pacis, they will wake up and fuss a bit. For things liek a paci or a lovey, they often find that themselves. For teething, they haven't fussed much, but if they continue to wake up through the night, I'll give them some Tylenol or IBuprofen to help them. I won't always know if it's a headache, or another pain, but if it is, the pain killers will help. It's often obvious to me if it's a nightmare or a night terror, in which case it is important I'm there for them to comfort them. But, like I said, it's not too often they wake up throughout the night. When they do, usually it's before 12 midnight. After that, it's sleeping through the night all the way to 9:30am or 10am.

 

i didn't read the other responses but i just wanted you to know that mine both still wake twice/night, at least.... we're plannign to do some "sleep learning" this holiday season (when dh will be around) based on the book good night, sleep tight, by kim west, which is basically allowing them to cry but staying w/them as they learn to put themselved back to sleep. in our case, ours mostly wake and ask for milk, so we are hoping that by not giving it to them we'll break them of the habit. no matter why yours are waking, i highly recommend the book!

~~jl

 

Right there with ya - it seems that more often than not there is something wrong a cold, teething, etc. so I too have a hard time letting them CIO if I know there is something bothering them. But I did just have a light bulb moment - I shouldnt be feeding them as that is just getting them used to eating in the middle of the night - uhg! :headbang: