Sleeping issues...we're all in tears

I started a really bad habit soon after we got home from the hospital by letting the babies fall asleep on the twin nursing pillow on me and I would just go to sleep sitting up like that. I think it started because I felt stuck or one would fall asleep and the other one's still eating and when I would get up and put them down they would wake right up and cry. If I let them be on my lap / pillow we get a few hours of sleep...I wanted sleep...now I'm stuck. I wrote about this last week and got some good ideas and decided to try my bed with the PNP next to it tonight....figured DH doesn't have to work...etc. SO 2 hours after going to bed and several attempts at putting them in the PNP and I'm back downstairs on the couch in tears and feeling like a horrible mom and unfair to myself for starting this and not being able to fix it. The PNP isn't level with my bed and the nursing pillow is so freakin big. I can't get them in there without waking them up and then it's all over no matter how much soothing I do. DH sleeps right through it all. I have no clue how but he's completely out. Anyway - the darn PNP moves around and dips towards the middle so the babies roll in towards each other and they end up kicking and hitting each other and scream like crazy and then they won't calm down till I nurse again. Yep I'm a human pacifier. They won't take the store bought ones normally. I don't know if bringing one of the cribs in our room instead of the PNP might work better so they don't roll into each other so much?? Maybe we'll try that tomorrow. I just don't know what to do. The babies are SO happy and don't cry much but want to be with me all the time. I'm flattered but tuckered out and getting really frustrated and down on myself. What can I do??? Will they outgrow this?? I need serious help.

 

I am sorry you guys are having a hard time, you are still in the really hard part with twins (IMHO). So, most people will say do what works. Are you swaddling them? If not, I would say start that right away, it will help so they don't move around as much and wake themselves up.
We used to change their diapers, swaddled them back up, then feed, then put them straight to bed at night. Can you try perhaps maybe a carseat next to your bed, can you sleep in there, while the other is in a pnp, or even the crib? I have also heard of baby beds that sit right on your bed (we didn't use this but I know several people in here did).
We also would lay ours down after each feeding, and sometimes they were awake, and we would sometimes let them fuss for 5-10minutes and see if they would go back to sleep on their own - sometimes this worked, sometimes it didn't.

Sometimes what I did was lay a small receiving blanket on my nursing pillow and then I used that to gently pick them up after they were done nursing.

Hang in there, it will get better. Remember you are in survival mode, and they are quite young, so try not to worry about bad habits and do what works for now.

 

Don't worry - you haven't started any habits that you won't be able to break. They're too young to be set in their ways for long! We had a crib in our room (and the other in the babies' room) for the first 3 months and they slept in there every night. Swaddling was a life saver for us. We read/watched The Happiest Baby on the Block and learned a tonne of calming techniques from that. As for your husband conveniently sleeping through all of this - well, I would be putting a stop to that. It's hard to sleep with your wife elbowing you in the side, telling you to wake up and help out. There's no way you should be crying alone, stressing out all night with no support.

 

BRU sells something called a Sleep Positioner. We used those when the boys were little and in the crib to keep them feeling snuggly. That will keep them from rolling toward the center of the PNP. :hug: I am sorry you are having a rough time getting them into the PNP without waking.

 

I'm sorry that you are having so many sleep issues. They are too little to form any bad sleep habits right now. You really are in the thick of it, you just gotta do what works so you get some sleep too when they are this little. I also recommend swaddle me blankets, ours shared a crib at that age and it did keep them from flailing around and waking each other up! Good luck!

 

Hang in there! It gets better with each day, I promise We also use the PNP next to our bed since we brought the girls home at the end of October. We found the bassinet part didn't sit level either and bought some inexpensive sleep positioners to prevent them from rolling towards each other. Totally worth it. They grew out of the bassinet part real quick and we still use the sleep positioners with the bottom of the PNP. Also, highly recommend swaddling too to help them fall asleep and stay down longer.

I use the EZ twin nursing pillow and it's quite large compared to a boppy. I make sure I'm sitting either on the bed or in the middle of the couch so I have space on either side of me to put the girls as they finish up. They rarely finish at the same time. It allows them to sleep while I finish up with the other one before I can transfer them both to the PNP.

Not sure if you have these yet but we received a couple of Boppy lounger pillows as shower gift. We really love these. This is what I usually have set up next to me on the bed or couch so I can transfer the girls onto after feeding. They hold the girls in snug so we don't have to worry about them rolling anywhere. They also come in handy if you're trying to feed two at the same time if you don't have two bouncy chairs.

Best of luck!
Lisa

 

I swear to god, mama, no one ever brings their mom off to college because they can't sleep without her.

Do what you need to do to get some sleep. Eventually, they will sleep in their own space. transitions are always tough on mom and baby for a few nights to a few weeks, but eventually, they will sleep on their own.

 

Do you swaddle them?? This works VERY well! Also, if you swaddle them, you can get them closer in the PnP and you won't have the rolling issue. And what you were doing is FINE! You do what you need to do in order to get some sleep! You are NOT creating any bad habits at this point. but do try swaddling, they will sleep a lot better!

 

You are doing great! They are still so young, those days were really tough for me too. They nursed so often that it seemed like we all slept with the EZ Nursing pillow also, I know just what you mean. Dont worry about bad habits but it is good that you are recognizing ahead of time that you dont want to get stuck.

Keep trying with a pacifier. I did not stick with it and it is something that I look back on and wish I had done differently. My babies would be so much happier sometimes if they had one. Also, it would help me out at times when I am a human pacifier to soothe them.

We had two bassinettes in our room and then set up both cribs in our room. They are still there today. I have a pnp in my closet where one of the babies sleeps for naps so it does not wake the other. The cribs in the room has been so helpful since I nurse about every 2-3 hours around the clock. I sit at night in the bed with the EZ nurse pillow and nurse. The really helpful thing is that my husband is the carrier of the babies in the night. He gets up and carries them to me for feeding and then comes and take them off the pillow when they are ready to go back to their cribs. That really helps.

You are doing a super job. Sometimes one of the babies is more needy than another. One of my babies was latched on all the time for a while. I was a bit worried about it and a pacifier could have help. I had this silly idea that I did not want my babies to get hooked on a pacifier which I think is stupid now. He would have been happier with a paci.

 

O hon, you do what you have to now to get some rest, you can start good habits later. Alot of posters use the term "survival mode." That's what this is, don't worry about training, routines or habits. Ya'll just have to make it!!!