Sleepers vs. non sleepers

Discussion in 'The First Year' started by Flutterbymama, Mar 22, 2008.

  1. Flutterbymama

    Flutterbymama Well-Known Member

    I believe sleepers are born. From the moment I brought my first ds home, he fought sleep. He did NOT sleep unless he was being held. That baby could be in a dead sleep until you put him down. He would instantly wake up. He did not STTN consistently until he was 3 y/o. Funny thing, I made a vow when I was pg, he was not sleeping in my bed. HA HA HA! Littlle did I know. Lack of sleep is literally a recognized interrogation tactic which I believe is outlawed by the Geneva Convention. But I equate your baby not sleeping to Guerilla warfare. You get to the point that you will literally do anything to get some sleep which usually means you let your child sleep anywhere - in the swing, bouncy seat, car seat, on you or in your bed. That baby is a natural non sleeper.
    In contrast my twins came home from the NICU sleeping at least 20 out of 24 hours. Even now @ 6 months they are on a 2-3 hour "EAS" schedule while sleeping 10 hours at night in their co-sleeper. There is no explanation for the difference in temperanment. Same parents. Same genes. Different individual personalities. Right?
     
  2. iluvpugs44109

    iluvpugs44109 Well-Known Member

    In my home, I believe they are made. My first dd I rarely had any problems. She slept thru the night at 1 month old. And never has given us a hard time...well, once at about 5-6 months she had a hard time sleeping right away but with a little CIO she has been great ever since. Now my twinkies are a different story. I had to do a little CIO at about 3.5 months. Once in awhile we get one who will cry for about 20 minutes before they go to sleep but it's rare. I believe a little CIO never hurt after 4 months. I think some babies need to be trained to go to sleep like they do to crawl and walk. Sure, some are better sleepers than others, but I think in the majority babies need a little training to sleep at night.
     
  3. lbrooks

    lbrooks Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(Flutterbymama @ Mar 22 2008, 10:14 PM) [snapback]682817[/snapback]
    Even now @ 6 months they are on a 2-3 hour "EAS" schedule while sleeping 10 hours at night in their co-sleeper.



    Show-off! ;)
     
  4. excitedk

    excitedk Well-Known Member

    Well, hmmmmm. Mine slept wonderfully for the first 4 months, bed at 9pm, wake around 2am and back to sleep until 6am. Then around 4 months they started waking every 3hrs or so until we did CIO at 11 months. I know in my case I jumped the 2nd they started crying.

    So I don't know....that was helpful :rolleyes: lol
     
  5. Username

    Username Well-Known Member

    I think they learn it when they are ready- like rolling, walking, talking, etc. We can make it easier for them by setting a good environment but we can't force it on them until they are ready.
     
  6. lianyla

    lianyla Well-Known Member

    I believe what the pp just said.. As much as "we" like to take credit for TEACHING our kids to SLEEP... It has nothing to do with US. It has to do with the baby. You can force whatever you want to.. but if the baby isn't going to sleep-- then it isn't happening.. I believe they are BORN.

    You can read as many sleep habit books as you like and if your baby isn't ready-- FORGET IT!

    Magically, at 10 weeks.. mine picked their bedtime of 6 pm (both thank God), and started sleeping through the nite.. 13 hours per nite even today at 6 mos of age.. This is absolutely positively NOT because I "trained" them.. I didn't do anything at all.

    They decided it was time and they do it...

    Anyway, mine are not sleeping BECAUSE of me or anything I have done.. Yes, I facilitate it happening.. putting them down before 2 hrs etc.. but if they aren't ready-- they don't sleep and I get them up.. When they are READY, they know it! They go right to sleep WHEN THEY ARE READY. Some of you may argue that I am giving a 6 month old "too much credit".. I disagree..

    Anyway,,,, I'm happy with my sleepers!
     
  7. Dianna

    Dianna Well-Known Member

    What is a "EAS" schedule?


    Dianna
     
  8. Becca34

    Becca34 Well-Known Member

    Like almost everything else in life, I believe it's a combo of nature and nurture. :)

    I have three excellent sleepers. My older DD slept 8 hours straight at 8 weeks, woke to nurse, and then went back to sleep for another 4 hours. She stayed with this pattern until we started solids at 6 months, and then started sleeping 12 hours straight.

    My little ones took some trial and error, but started sleeping 12 hours straight between 3 and 4 months.

    This was with no CIO -- although, I did let them fuss for up to 10 minutes or so.

    Most people think we got lucky, and partly, sure -- but I was also adamant about only sleeping in the crib from day 1, no sleeping in swings or bouncies or in anyone's arms. I made conditions as favorable as possible -- blackout shades, white noise, tight swaddling. And, we followed EAS as closely as possible. I never let my babies fall asleep at the breast or bottle, except at bedtime -- even as newborns, I kept them up for a couple minutes, and then put them in the nursery for naps, where they'd sleep until the next feeding...

    Anyhow. Would they be such good sleepers if I had been a much more go-with-the-flow, do-whatever-works person? Maybe, but I choose to believe all my effort helped. :D

    ETA -- Dianna, it stands for "Eat, Activity, Sleep" -- which means that you follow a pattern of feeding, then waketime, then naptime until the next feeding, instead of naps immediately after feeding.
     
  9. Callen

    Callen Well-Known Member

    I believe babies SSTN when they are ready to. You can work with them or fight against them. Each child is different.


    I'm a work with them kinda gal :)
     
  10. ahmerl

    ahmerl Well-Known Member

    I also believe they are genetically geared to sleep or not sleep. My Jack and Lily are 9 months and 3 weeks and Lily came out fighting sleep as well. Even when 2 months old she would start crying the minute she we pulled out the white onesies that they slept in. She still screams before every nap or bedtime and fights it with all she is worth. She fights soooo hard she will not even fall asleep on your shoulder or while being held, never did. She chooses instead to play with your hair or cry or anything she can do without laying her head down. Her brother has always been a sleeper and takes 2 - 2 hr. naps a day and STTN.

    Amy
     
  11. Becca34

    Becca34 Well-Known Member

    Wanted to add that having twins really makes it easy to see how much personality differences come into play -- my DD, upon being put in the crib, rolls to her side, sticks her thumb in her mouth, grabs her lovey and goes to sleep within 30 seconds.

    My DS sits up, thrashes around, throws his lovey around, hits the soother repeatedly, bellyaches for a bit, and then finally falls asleep -- I often find him sleeping in a sitting position, LOL.
     
  12. traci.finley

    traci.finley Well-Known Member

    Totally made here!

    Our girls fought sleep like you would not believe. Even as preemies they hardly ever slept! They were colicky and would only sleep for 8-10 hours in a 24 hour period for MONTHS and MONTHS. At 5 1/2 months we started hard core sleep training =) Now they take 3 naps a day (not GREAT ones ... 45 minutes to 1 1/2 hours (rare) but they go down EASY) and they sleep 12 hours at night (they each wake once to nurse ... then right back down).

    So, I believe they were made into good sleepers. Also, ever since the sleep training, they are much happier babies and much less prone to getting overtired.
     
  13. traci.finley

    traci.finley Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(Becca34 @ Mar 23 2008, 11:40 AM) [snapback]683107[/snapback]
    Wanted to add that having twins really makes it easy to see how much personality differences come into play -- my DD, upon being put in the crib, rolls to her side, sticks her thumb in her mouth, grabs her lovey and goes to sleep within 30 seconds.

    My DS sits up, thrashes around, throws his lovey around, hits the soother repeatedly, bellyaches for a bit, and then finally falls asleep -- I often find him sleeping in a sitting position, LOL.



    This is freakin hilarious! Please take a photo of him sleeping sitting up and pm it to me! Mine are also prone to soother banging. One take her paci and bangs it into the soother and one kicks her soother so loud that I can hear it downstairs w/o the monitor on! When they do fight a nap ... I was LOL at your description of your DS b/c that is totally them! I will peek in and see little feet sticking up and the lovey waving like a flag and here the bam, bam, bam of either kicking or banging the paci into the soother ... too funny! If they are really sleepy they, too, just grab the lovey and roll to the side. It is so cute when they sleep on their sides =)
     
  14. clkafka

    clkafka Well-Known Member

    I think it some of both. Babies just like adults have different sleeping "styles" Some of us adults are morning people or night owls, or can function on 6 hrs or need 8 or 9 hrs. All babies are very different, some are more active or laid back. My son, even as a newborn, did not sleep well. I tried letting him fuss some, but it always turned into crying. Eventually, he was nursed to sleep, held to sleep, rocked to sleep, and sleept with us. I did not set out to do it this way, but once I gave up on trying to make him sleep a certain way, we were all happier. I tried CIO twice with him (at 5mn and 10 mn) and it did not work. Ferber himself says CIO does not work with all babies, which leads me to believe that sleep has a great deal to do with temperament. Now, having said that, I do believe there are things we can do to help babies sleep better, but BETTER is a relative term. I think we can lock for sleeping cues, make sure they get the recommended sleep they need (although some babies do just fine on less...temperament?). My girls are way better sleepers (as of now, but I don't hold my breath when it comes to sleep and babies). I do not do anything different with them, they just have responded different.
     
  15. HT

    HT Well-Known Member

    Definitely born that way! My oldest DD has fought sleep since babyhood. It would take her forever to fall asleep, then she started waking for 1-2 hours a night. At 11 months she dropped her am nap and has continued waking during the night for over 3 years. We do the same routine every night, but nothing seems to help. She acts like she needs more sleep, but even if I put her to bed at 8, she is still bouncing around her room at 9:30-10:00. The twins are the complete opposite. They fall asleep completely on their own, sleep from 8:30-9 every night, and still take 2 good naps a day.
     
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