Sleep Training -- A Baby's Perspective (funny!)

A friend emailed me this today and it made me laugh!
Enjoy!

quote:
Sleep Training...

OK, here's my situation. My Mommy has had me for
almost 7 months. The first few months were great--
I cried, she picked me upand fed me,
anytime, day or night. Then something happened.
Over the last few weeks, she has been trying to
STTN (sleep thru the night).
At first, I thought it was just a phase, but it is only
getting worse. I've talked to other babies, and it seems like it's
pretty common after Mommies have had us for around 6 months.

Here's the thing: these Mommies don't really need
to sleep. It's just a habit. Many of them have had some 30 years to
sleep--they just don't need it anymore. So I am implementing a
plan. I call it the Crybaby Shuffle.

It goes like this:

Night 1--cry every 3 hours until you get fed.
I know, it's hard. It's hard to see your Mommy upset over your crying.
Just keep reminding yourself, it's for her own good.

Night 2--cry every 2 hours until you get fed.

Night 3--every hour.

Most Mommies will start to respond more quickly
after about 3 nights.
Some Mommies are more alert, and may resist the
change longer. These Mommies may stand in your doorway for hours,
shhhh-ing. Don't give in. I cannot stress this enough: CONSISTENCY IS
KEY!!
If you let her STTN (sleep through the night), just once, she
will expect it every night. I KNOW IT'S HARD! But she really does not
need the sleep, she is just resisting the change.

If you have an especially alert Mommy, you can
stop crying for about 10 minutes,
just long enough for her to go back
to bed and start to fall asleep.
Then cry again. It WILL eventually
work. My Mommy once stayed awake for 10 hours straight,
so I know she can do it.

Last night, I cried every hour. You just have to
decide to stick to it and just go for it.
BE CONSISTENT! I cried for any
reason I could come up with. My sleep sack tickled my foot. I
felt a wrinkle under
the sheet. My mobile made a shadow on the wall. I
burped, and it tasted like pears.
I hadn't eaten pears since lunch,
what's up with that?
The cat said "meow". I should know. My
Mommy reminds me of this about 20 times a day. LOL.
Once I cried just because I liked how it
sounded when it echoed on the monitor in the
other room. Too hot, too
cold, just right--doesn't matter! Keep crying!!

It took awhile, but it worked. She fed me at 4am.
Tomorrow night, my goal is 3:30am.
You need to slowly shorten the
interval between feedings in order to reset your Mommies' internal
clocks.

P.S. Don't let those rubber things fool you, no matter how long you suck on them, no milk will come out. Trust me.

 

A friend emailed me this today and it made me laugh!
Enjoy!

quote:
Sleep Training...

OK, here's my situation. My Mommy has had me for
almost 7 months. The first few months were great--
I cried, she picked me upand fed me,
anytime, day or night. Then something happened.
Over the last few weeks, she has been trying to
STTN (sleep thru the night).
At first, I thought it was just a phase, but it is only
getting worse. I've talked to other babies, and it seems like it's
pretty common after Mommies have had us for around 6 months.

Here's the thing: these Mommies don't really need
to sleep. It's just a habit. Many of them have had some 30 years to
sleep--they just don't need it anymore. So I am implementing a
plan. I call it the Crybaby Shuffle.

It goes like this:

Night 1--cry every 3 hours until you get fed.
I know, it's hard. It's hard to see your Mommy upset over your crying.
Just keep reminding yourself, it's for her own good.

Night 2--cry every 2 hours until you get fed.

Night 3--every hour.

Most Mommies will start to respond more quickly
after about 3 nights.
Some Mommies are more alert, and may resist the
change longer. These Mommies may stand in your doorway for hours,
shhhh-ing. Don't give in. I cannot stress this enough: CONSISTENCY IS
KEY!!
If you let her STTN (sleep through the night), just once, she
will expect it every night. I KNOW IT'S HARD! But she really does not
need the sleep, she is just resisting the change.

If you have an especially alert Mommy, you can
stop crying for about 10 minutes,
just long enough for her to go back
to bed and start to fall asleep.
Then cry again. It WILL eventually
work. My Mommy once stayed awake for 10 hours straight,
so I know she can do it.

Last night, I cried every hour. You just have to
decide to stick to it and just go for it.
BE CONSISTENT! I cried for any
reason I could come up with. My sleep sack tickled my foot. I
felt a wrinkle under
the sheet. My mobile made a shadow on the wall. I
burped, and it tasted like pears.
I hadn't eaten pears since lunch,
what's up with that?
The cat said "meow". I should know. My
Mommy reminds me of this about 20 times a day. LOL.
Once I cried just because I liked how it
sounded when it echoed on the monitor in the
other room. Too hot, too
cold, just right--doesn't matter! Keep crying!!

It took awhile, but it worked. She fed me at 4am.
Tomorrow night, my goal is 3:30am.
You need to slowly shorten the
interval between feedings in order to reset your Mommies' internal
clocks.

P.S. Don't let those rubber things fool you, no matter how long you suck on them, no milk will come out. Trust me.

 

That's FUNNY!!!

"BE CONSISTENT" Baby sounds like me!!

 

That is TOO funny!!!

 

ha ha ha awesome!!

 

Oh, Wesley is TOTALLY on board with this. I knew it was a conspiracy.

 

That's too cute.

 

That is the funniest thing ever! I love the BE CONSISTENT! So cute and I agree..Mommy's have had 30 years to sleep, why oh why do they need sleep now!

 

LOL! Such a funny commentary on the diehard "CIO" parents

 

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! I haven't laughed that hard since I can't even remember when. I copied and pasted it and plan on sending it to all my mommy friends. That is one of the funniest things I have EVER read. I don't know why but the whole monitor part made me laugh so hard I think I may have tinkled my pants.

 

Soooooo funny. Forwarded that! Needed the laugh (til my stomach hurt).

 

Thank you! Having just gotten my girls to go to sleep (2 hours past "bedtime", I needed that laugh!

 

This was so funny I called DH in to read it...he's still giggling over the pears comment! It is so obviously a conspiracy those babies have for us!!
Boy, I really needed that tonight.
Nicole

 

I needed that laugh tonight.