Sleep out of sync

It seems that my DD is now dropping naps for good, she rarely naps more than once a week (usually if she had a really bad night) and lasts quite well through the afternoon and evening if I insist on some quiet time. She is doing well with quiet time if I am there to help her with it by reading a story, listening to music while cuddling with her or encouraging quiet play while DS naps and I have a cup of tea. But DS is no where near dropping naps and still sleeps 1.5 to 2 hours every day, he often nearly falls asleep during lunch and is miserable all afternoon if he misses a nap or if I cut his nap short.

So, their sleep rhythms are out of sync and there the dilemma starts: How do I ensure DD gets enough sleep? DH or I usually handle bedtime alone because we take turns leaving the office early to pick up the kids and working late to make up for the early afternoons. Two bedtimes do not really work for one parent alone because our routine (bath, potty, books, prayers, singing) usually takes an hour or so and we cannot leave DS on his own for so long while doing DD's bedtime routine, plus they share a room and I worry about disturbing DD with DS's bedtime. If we move bedtime ealier to the time when DD is tired, DS is not tired yet and bedtime battles with him follow (so DD does not get to sleep either). If we stick with our old bedtime DD is overtired and clearly not getting enough sleep. I let DD sleep in about 20 minutes longer in the morning while I get myself and DS ready but then she needs to get up because I need to go to the office and pre-school starts.

What did you do with one child dropping naps and the other not ready to do so?

 

we do the same bedtime on nap and no nap days. on nap days they are more prone to talk and chat for a bit before falling asleep but that is ok with us.

 

I would probably cut your son's nap short, even if it makes him a bit grumpy, and then have the earlier bedtime that your daughter needs. I had to cut down naps with my twins and they were grumpy for a while; giving them a 10 minute wake-up period sitting quietly on the sofa followed by a snack always helped to get them going again and they adjusted fairly quickly.

Alternatively perhaps you could do just the one bedtime routine with both of them at the earlier time, but then only tuck in your daughter and take your son back out of the bedroom for some more quiet activity (extra stories, calm music, puzzles, colouring, similar to what you do with your daughter during his nap) before taking him back to tuck in at the later bedtime. That way he does not get left on his own, you don't have to go through the whole routine twice and you don't have to disturb your daughter when putting him to bed later.

 

I think I am going to try this strategy - thank you, the idea of doing it similar to naptimes never occured to me.

 

You're welcome I hope it works out.

 

When we were in this situation we did what PP suggested. We did the bedtime routine with both kids and the non-napper would get tucked in. The napper would get to play quietly or read in the playroom as a "reward" for napping. It usually worked pretty well.