Sleep help

Hi ladies,
I'm ashamed to admit that I think we've created monsters who don't sleep. We tried the whole laying them down awake thing, and it just wasn't working out... so now at the age of nearly 7 mos old, bad sleeping babies have gotten worse... I didn't know it could get worse! One DS has been up at 2:30 am and will NOT go back to sleep. Or should I say he will while being rocked, helded, nursed, etc, but within 10-15 mins of being in his crib, he's up again, and again.

At our WBV at 6 mos, our pedi asked about sleep (maybe she saw the bags under our eyes then....), and recommended then we start CIO, but only when the boys got healthier (as they had ear infections). Well, between ear infections and the swine flu, 4 more weeks have gone by with sick babies. They are now healthy, but I don't know when and how to start CIO. Also since I'm nursing, what is a good length of time that they "should" be able to sleep without nursing at 7 mos? We do bath, book, boob starting at 6, in bed by 7, we do a last feeding somewhere between 9:30 and 10, should I not go to them before 4 am? Further, once I feed them after that 4 am mark, nurse then back in bed, do I not go to them again until the designated wake up time? Any tips, suggestions, web-sites? I've been trying to plug through HSHB, but still feel lost.

On top of all of this, I'm just really struggling with starting it knowing that this weekend we are travelling to visit my aunt with Stage 4 ovarian cancer who is now on hospice care, then the next 3 weekends, we have out of town visitors coming in to stay with us, and I don't want them to have to listen to it. So do we cancel plans to try to get the babies to sleep (and therefor, some sleep for us...), or what? HELP! Mommy and Daddy need some sleep.
TIA

 

Bless your heart, I dont have any answers for you as my girls arent quite 5mos, but Good luck. I am however interested in the answers you get. I have sleep monsters too, they want to take late naps (7 or 8am) or I think they are down for the night, and they wake up at 12am and stay awake until 1 or 2am.
However, if I were you, I'd wait until the company left to fully sleep train, or toy with it every few naps during the day when people are awake and let family know that you are transitioning into sleep training. Then maybe you can get an idea of what will and wont work. Ive been told that it takes at least 3 weeks to get babies fully trained.

 

:hug: I didn't nurse so I don't have an answer about how long 7 month olds can go w/o nursing.
I would try to do the CIO before your company comes if you can manage it.

 

I did CIO during the week. I slept in the guest room (across from their room) and let DH sleep in our room (on the other side of the house). I had a book and just read while they cried and near the later hours of the morning I would doze on/off. There are several ways to do CIO so just go with what is comfortable for you. I did a form of extinction. I did our bedtime routine, then let them cry for 10 mins, then checked on them (no talking, no picking up), just checked for diapers and no limbs stuck. Then I let them cry 20 mins before checking on them, then 30 mins, then 1 hour. For getting them to fall asleep, I didn't have to wait very long, but our main issue was nighttime wake ups. Over the 3 days it took, the longest Jake cried was 90 mins. Ryan got it pretty quickly, but Jake (my paci kid) took a lot longer to catch on. It was a rough few days, but well worth it IMO.

 

I could have posted the exact same thing for the first half of your post. In fact, I just read through the HSHHT book again and was planning to post the same question. How do you use a technique like that when you are nursing? Last night my boys woke up every two hours and I tried all the tactics from Dr. Sears and others (dad getting them, leaving them a bit, sticking in pacifier, etc) and they ended in hysterics and seemed to be genuinely hungry. So how do you tell when they are crying just because or if they really hungry?

Ours are not yet old enough for CIO, and at the moment it is not for us, but I have a feeling we may need to do some version of it in the not too distant future. Perhaps you could give it a try after you visit your aunt (which I imagine is emotionally stressful enough on its own) and before your first guests arrive. You could warn your guests- provide them with earplugs and some music.

Good luck- I too am interested to read others' responses.

 

As far as eating during the night, none of mine ate between the bedtime feeding and 7am from about four months on. My first two were exclusively breastfed and were sleeping 12 hours with a dreamfeed about 10pm from 12 weeks. In your case, I'd still do your dreamfeed but then not feed again until you are ready to get up for the day. And make that the same time every day. I just think it would be confusing to have you come to them to feed when they cry at a certain time but it's still nighttime. How do they know it's a certain time on the clock? I'd think that would cause them to cry longer thinking at some point you'll come. If they learn they wait til wakeup time to eat, they won't cry during the night to eat (well, after the initial cio). I also did the extinction like Meg only I went in every 15 min unless they were winding down. If they started to settle down, I started the time over. It's never fun to listen to them cry, but in the long run it's better for everyone to get good sleep.

 

We used CIO to eliminate night feedings when my boys were 5.5 months old. I was nursing at the time, but have since weaned them. [I will warn you that as soon as I stopped nursing overnight my supply went down, but probably wouldn't have had such an issue if I was more diligent about BFing during the day. I gave my boys 1-2 bottles a day when we went out or just to give myself a break.]

We would feed them around 6pm and they would go 11 hours before waking. At 8 months this is still their routine, so start with a later mealtime if you can so you can sleep in a bit. We didn't seperate them or go in to check on them (Ferberize), I just watched on the video monitor. Somehow DH was able to sleep thru it!?!

The worst of it took a long weekend. Night one was a mess, they cried for 1.5 hours, my boobs were the size of basketballs and I ended up having to wake them at 5:30am because I just couldn't go any longer (I didn't pump). The next night was just 15 minutes of crying and then it was still a month or so of night wakings, but just for a cuddle or pacifier.

I remember having to put it off several weeks because of travel and guests and I didn't want to start the process only to have setbacks because of changes in our routine. I would recommend having 2 weeks or so with no plans so you can be consistent.

I am using CIO for naptimes. It's not any easier this time around, but I know that it gets results so I'm willing to stick with it.

 

Hi, we started a modified CIO program at one year (yes, we're slow!). We met with a sleep specialist to help come up with a plan. She strongly recommended against sleep training if they were 1-sick 2-you are going on vacation or having company 3-if they are getting ready to cut a tooth in the next few days 4-if they are actively learning to walk.
Since you are having company it will disrupt your routine and make sleep training harder. Plus, if you are anxious about your aunt's situation (sorry!) it will make things worse. We ended up doing a checking system where we would go in at 5, 10, 15 etc minutes and verbally soothe them. The first first night were pretty awful with my DD. She was used to me picking her up and holding her. It worked for us after about a week. Now they both sleep 11-12 hours a night.
I'm sorry you are having such a rough time. If you want any details of the plan we came up with our sleep specialist, let me know. But I wouldn't recommend doing it right now. I hope you can take a break somehow and sneak in a nap during the day. I know it's exhausting!

 

Just from my personal experience, I did CIO at 6 months adjusted. First, I let them CIO to learn to fall asleep and if they would wake up after midnight (put them down at 6:30) I would BF them. However, they really stopped waking-up all night to BF once they learned to fall asleep initially. I think if they are growing normally according to their own curve and are healthy they are fine to CIO if that's the method you choose and BF shouldn't interfere with that. However, as with any type of feeding you do sort-of have to be clued in to what is a hunger cry due to a growth spurt or a sick cry. When they first started their sleeping I had to wake and pump at 3 or 4 a.m. to relieve a little of the pressure. They also started eating more during the day to make up for the long nights. It didn't take long.

Oh, and HSHHC is a confusing read, but it is SO SO good. It was my sleep bible!

 

Another faithful HSHHC reader here. I think the trick is to get them to sleep well during the day first and then work on night time. I did not CIO in the middle of the night until 9 months. Bedtime and naptime we did CIO around 5 months. I found that when they slept well during the day that they slept well at night too. I exclusively BF mine and at 9 months I sent my DH in during the night. It only took a few nigths for the waking to stop. For bedtime we did the extinction method where they cried for 15 minutes and then I would go in and check on them.

 

Thanks everyone for the advice and answers. I think that what we will do is try getting them to CIO for going to sleep first on some of your advice, and see if that sort of helps night time wakings/not going back to sleep. I wanted to avoid doing it during the week - as my husband is a VERY light sleeper (maybe part of the reason we are in this position!!??!). I used to joke when they were 3/4 mos old that they slept the best when I kicked my husband out of the bedroom and made him sleep on another floor. They would sleep a good 6 hour stretch before waking me up to nurse, but if my DH slept upstairs with us, inevitably he'd be up messing with them a couple hours after they went down saying that they were up...? Anyway, he works, and this is going to be hard on his sleep.

Going to the pedi to check the ears one more time to make sure everything is cleared up.

Thanks again!