Sleep habits / CIO

Because it's been tough on DH and I over the past couple weeks trying to teach the girls good sleep habits, many people are recommending us to temporarily seperate our DD's into seperate rooms at naptime and bedtime. Right now they share a room and they've been waking each other up. Especially, since we're trying to let them cry more (only intervene if we have to) to develop their self soothing skills.

We really didn't want to seperate them since they will be sharing a room due to the lack of rooms in our house. People are suggesting that a temporary seperation will help them develop better sleep habits quicker and then they will better be able to self-soothe when we ultimately put them back into the same room.

Thoughts?

Did anyone else use temporary seperation? For how long?

Or, did you just work through the issues while keeping them in the same room? Any tips on this method?

Thanks very much!

 

I did not separate mine. I just worked through it. It may have been tougher or easier but for the most part they learned to sleep through each others cries. White noise up pretty loud will help and then you can gradually back it down. GL!

 

We did CIO in the same room. I've never separated my girls. They have learned to sleep through each other's cries. What we did though was to put the cribs on different sides of the room. I've noticed that at my mom's house, where the cribs are right next to each other, they tend to wake each other up more. Could you try moving their cribs to different sides of the room?

 

We never had much of a problem with night wakings (Amy woke for a bottle, but once Sarah was asleep, Amy never woke her up), but we did separate them for the initial CIO at bedtime. It lasted about a week. Even after we put them back together, they would often fall asleep with one or both of them screaming, but I think it was still helpful to separate them during that initial phase when we really had no idea how long it would take them to fall asleep. We put Sarah in the PNP in the living room and then just carried her to her crib when they were both sound asleep.

 

We didn't separate. DH and I did not agree on this though and thought we should have separated them, but I wanted them to get used to each other's noises. The majority of the time they don't wake each other up now and I like that they share a room... DH still thinks they should have their own rooms, but we have agreed to disagree on this.

 

QUOTE(aimeethomp @ Mar 11 2009, 01:58 PM) [snapback]1223617[/snapback]
We did CIO in the same room. I've never separated my girls. They have learned to sleep through each other's cries. What we did though was to put the cribs on different sides of the room. I've noticed that at my mom's house, where the cribs are right next to each other, they tend to wake each other up more. Could you try moving their cribs to different sides of the room?


Right now the cribs are on opposite walls and unfortunately I don't think we could make them any further apart.

They've been sharing a room all along and I do think they can tolerate each other's noises to a certain extent. We notice they awake each other now since we're letting them cry more before/if any intervention. This morning at 4am it was brutal and it took about an hour and a half before they both settled back down.

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On a seperate note, I'm wondering when the girls will stop waking for their post midnight feeds. They strictly breastfed from me or through bottles with EBM. We haven't tried the dreamfeed process yet since I don't have a ton of EBM supply built up. I tried to do it with breastfeeding and they both woke up due to all the handling getting them in and out of the crib.

They eat no later than every 3 hours during the day and should be consuming their daily caloric requirements during awake hours.

When do people start doing CIO to wean the middle of the night feedings?

 

We've done both. For naps, in which there was more fussing/crying, we've separated them. One sleeps in the crib in their room, and one is in a pack n' play in another bedroom. But for night time sleep, they are both in their cribs in the same room. This has worked fine for us. Eventually, I'd like to get them both in the room for naps, but for now, as they are getting their naps established, this is working out great. And the one who is in the pnp, sleeps in his crib just fine at night.

I'm also breastfeeding them at night. They are 7 months old yesterday. DS 2 just started sleeping through the night this week...on his own. I didn't need to do anything. It just happened. DS 3.... I imagine he'll be tougher. He still wakes 2x night. He's not nearly as good at self soothing...so I know he's not hungry both times. I'll have to think about what I'm going to do about night weaning.

best of luck!

-maria
DS1 4 yrs old
DS2 DS3 7 months

 

we seperated ours while doing sleep training for a couple of weeks, then we put them back in together. the first two days or so was rough but then they adjusted & now they just sleep through each other's noises/crying.

 

QUOTE(Lisa&Lonnie @ Mar 11 2009, 06:27 PM) [snapback]1223680[/snapback]
On a seperate note, I'm wondering when the girls will stop waking for their post midnight feeds. They strictly breastfed from me or through bottles with EBM. We haven't tried the dreamfeed process yet since I don't have a ton of EBM supply built up. I tried to do it with breastfeeding and they both woke up due to all the handling getting them in and out of the crib.

They eat no later than every 3 hours during the day and should be consuming their daily caloric requirements during awake hours.

When do people start doing CIO to wean the middle of the night feedings?


Most things I have read and heard dont recommend CIO at night until after 6 months. At 4 months mine were getting up at least 2 if not 3 times a night for a bottle. I didnt do anything and let them drop the feeds on their own. They STTN at 9 months.

 

Ours shared a room until they hit 6 months (that was because they got too big to keep sharing a crib and our rooms aren't big enough for 2 cribs) and they did learn to sleep through each other's cries. Like Rachel, I've only heard of starting CIO after 6 months

 

I agree with the PPs that CIO is generally not recommended until 6 months. I´ve never had to do it as yet and mine sttn 12 hours at 4.5 months.

You mention the dream feed and waking. I used to wake mine at 11.30pm every night, change their nappies and then feed them. They would both go straight back to sleep afterwards. I realised that they didnt need the feed when they didnt finish their bottles. I FF.

To answer your original post, I was one who did separate my two. DS was constantly waking DD, at night, and it interfered with her sleep pattern. At 5 months, I put them back together again but for nights only. They sleep separately during the day. They tend to sleep through each other´s noise if they wake. DS cries out in his sleep but DD doesnt wake up. DS is a lighter sleeper but in general they are fine.

GL & KUP!

 

I gave up and separated my boys. I noticed when they slept apart, they'd sleep longer and with fewer wake-ups. I only had to make one CIO. The other gets night terrors which would have been harder to deal with if they both were in the same room. I thought I was going to only temporarily separate them, but now I think I'm going to make it permanent. I just really like feeling less stressed out about whether one is going to wake up the other. it was so hard for me when they'd wake each other up. It was on going through the night. It wasn't every night. Kiefer is a better sleeper, but If Kiefer woke up for his paci earlier than Cameron in the morning, then Cameron would want to be up for the rest of the morning and I wasn't ready to wake up. Alone, I could just give Kiefer a paci and he'd go back to sleep for another 2 hours and Cameron would not have heard it. Cameron will sleep til 9 if not woken up earlier than that in the morning. Kiefer doesn't always need his paci, but it was just frustrating when he did need it.

 

I did try and seperate mine at first and it only made it worse. They have learned to adjust, it took a good week or so to get through the sleep training but now they sleep through each others crys. It also helps when one wakes before the other, I leave them in there for a few minutes babbling an dthe other one wakes up shortly after. That way they stay on the same schedule.

As far as CIO for night feeds. When my DD was only taking 1-2 oz in those feedings I new she didnt need it any more. The next night I gave her 10-15 min and she fell back to sleep. Then she stopped waking up for it. I would only suggest not going to them if they do that for a few consistent nights in a row. IMO they will drop them on their own. They will either stop waking or like mine eat only a few oz., so you know they don't need it.

 

i did separate when DD got into the annoying habit of waking up at 4:00am every morning and talking loudly/fussing and waking up her brother. i had tried feeding her several times and knew she wasn't hungry, just wanting me to come in and replug the paci, so i put her in the pnp in our guest room for one week. she did cry/fuss the first night for about 40 minutes and after that she maybe woke up for a few minutes around 4am for the next couple of nights but never fussed, just put herself right back to sleep.

i was worried about making the transition back to her crib but all went smoothly and now she is sleeping like a champ (knock on wood). good luck with your decision.

 

We swaddled until a little after 6 months (I know... a little extreme... but it worked), and they were in the same crib until the same time. Once they started to roll over in their swaddles and wake up in the night we separated them... cribs on either side of the same room. there were a few weeks of wakeful nights...

several books suggest that if they are waking at the same time its habit... not necessarily out of hunger... but at 4.5 months I'm not sure you should ignore them if you think its habit.

If its for hunger, then I would definitely try to tank them up... The Baby Whisperer talks about this... feeding every 2 hrs before bed or something... then another feed before you go to bed...

if you're breastfeeding... do you pump? you may want to try to pump for extra at least 2x per day, after first morning feed and after last feed of day... if you pump for a little extended time (10+ extra minutes) it should stimulate you for the next feed to make more...

I hope you can get some rest soon!

 

We didn't separate for the exact same reason...no other rooms! They do learn how to tune each other out, you'll see! White noise is a great idea

 

Not the most attractive thing but we hung a sheet as a curtain down the middle of their room. Often times I found if one baby stirred and I went in to back pat etc and the other baby was in a light sleep as soon as they saw me or dh they went into a full fledged cry as well. I also still nurse one baby so the chair I nurse in is next to his crib on his side of the curtain.

We dont do CIO. never have, never will. I have one great sleeper and one not so much but we are getting there slowly. When I go into nurse I just pick up the baby and sit down. No talking, no lights, nothing. boring and simple. best of luck!

 

We did the same at 4.5 months... I know some people say it's too early, and I don't disagree, but for us there was no other way because they would just not calm down and cry again as soon as we put them down again (they only fell asleep in their crib... even the swing didn't work when they were too worked out). We only had to do it a few times thankfully (I think once for DS and twice for DD).

But we kept them in the same room. They just learned to sleep right through it.