Slamming doors, argh!

Amy has recently discovered the joys of slamming doors. She also suddenly wants to hang out in their bedroom rather than in the living room. I don't think it's a privacy thing exactly -- more just the novelty factor.

Anyway, her newest game is to run into the bedroom, slam the door behind her, and then just stay there (usually cackling gleefully) until someone comes to get her. She can't open the door (yet), so she's essentially trapped in there, but she doesn't seem to care.

I worry a little about her being in there by herself (or with Sarah), since the room is not fully childproofed. I'm also not crazy about the sound of slamming doors. But I can't figure out if I should just wait it out till she gets sick of this game, or if I should fight the battle and try to get her to stop?

If I am going to try to get her to stop, the only discipline strategy I can think of is to say that if she slams the door, I'll remove her from the bedroom and shut the door behind her. It drives her crazy not to be able to get back in. If that doesn't work, I'll have to keep the door closed all the time, but I hate to do that because it gets cold in there pretty fast.

Alternatively, we could stick something in the door hinge so that it doesn't shut at all, but that might be more of a pain than it's worth.... Advice?

 

IMO, they won't get sick of it, it becomes a habit and needs to be stopped before it does. If the door slamming continues, a finger or hand will surely get caught in there and someone will really get hurt. My dd's finger was in the door when ds slammed it once and I thought her finger was broken. IT wasn't but it sure hurt her a lot.

we keep the bedroom doors closed during the day except for the babies bedroom. That just eliminates a lto of trouble.

Good luck.

 

Slamming doors is a countable action here (i.e. I start with "that's 1" as we do 1-2-3 Magic). The rule is, only Mommy and Daddy touch doors unless we give you permission. Doors are not toys, and someone could get hurt. When we leave their room I let one of them close the door behind them. If they absolutely will not leave the doors alone and have already been put in time out, we just close all of them. This is usually when we are spending time in the living room, the bedrooms and bathroom are all down the hall. Sometimes we will close the doors ahead of time as a preemptive measure.
The door at the bottom of the stairs to the family room needs to remain open, so we put a chain lock on it that holds the door open.

They've been slamming/playing with doors for at least a year now and it has not lost its allure.

 

At one point I considered taking the doors down off their hinges, or installing hook-and-eye locks up high to "lock" them open. It's my one big pet peeve -- "No Playing With Doors". Honestly, it's a miracle no one has lost a finger or had a broken digit yet. When my boys were littler I ended up throwing a towel over the door to their room, so that it wouldn't close all the way. I never got around to getting one, but found this device for keeping doors in an open position.

Good luck!

 

When we have had problems with that, I have taken to throwing a thick towel over the top that would stop it b4 fingers could be crushed.

 

Somewhere I found this little foam thing that goes over the door to keep it from closing all the way. I can't remember which store, though & I want to get another one!! I know I found it in with the kids' safety stuff, like outlet covers, etc. Looks a lot like this . Anyway, I keep it up high enough so they can't take it off & it keeps the door from closing all the way & pinching little fingers.

 

At the girls house we have these things that stop the door from closing all the way. They're similar to the ones in the link in the above post-basically a horse-shoe shape of very thick foam-you just put them at the top of the door. I'd recommend them because they remove the worry of someone getting hurt/being trapped in a room and will stop the irritating noise.

 

OK, so follow-up question: I'm wondering if keeping the doors from closing doesn't just delay the inevitable, since they need to learn how to behave appropriately with doors at some point.... Or is it more of a stopgap, until they're a little older and better able to learn?

 

QUOTE(Minette @ Jan 14 2008, 02:33 PM) [snapback]572369[/snapback]
I'm wondering if keeping the doors from closing doesn't just delay the inevitable, since they need to learn how to behave appropriately with doors at some point....



I think this is a great point, and my answer for your would be: it depends on your situation.

For kids who have absolutely no impulse control I would say putting the safety precaution in place would come first and foremost, with an emphasis on learning how to behave appropriately with doors as a second layer. As they get older and can logically understand the reasoning behind not playing with the door, the safety precaution can be removed.

For kids for whom the impulse control isn't so much an issue, I would move straight to the door behavior learning.

BTW, if you do decide to keep them from slamming...a cheap (but not pretty) was to do it would be to go to Home Depot and get some really thick pipe insulator. Cut it to the width of the door and snap it over the top of the door. The towel idea is even cheaper since you wouldn't have to buy anything.

 

QUOTE(Minette @ Jan 14 2008, 05:33 PM) [snapback]572369[/snapback]
OK, so follow-up question: I'm wondering if keeping the doors from closing doesn't just delay the inevitable, since they need to learn how to behave appropriately with doors at some point.... Or is it more of a stopgap, until they're a little older and better able to learn?

I say it's a stopgap, but to me, safety comes first. I tend to be a babyproofer to make our lives easier and lower my frustration level. I figure they will learn impulse control over time, and when they are older, then I will expect them to leave doors (and breakables, electric outlets, etc) alone. Even though I do discipline with time outs and such, I still do a lot of removal/redirection.

 

we keep all of our doors closed because we are so scared that the inevitable will happen. I just can't handle the thought so we purchased door knob covers for when they girls figure out how to open the doors. If you have unusal door knobs that they don't make the covers for then perhaps you could use something like this http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2792270 and just put it up higher on the door where they can't reach it. I think it is important to keep them safe at all times and they just don't have the understanding or knowledge for the dangers that slamming, or even just closing, a door can do.

 

We are big fans of the foam Safety 1st thing- we started using it because the boys liked to trap each other inside and/or outside their room, and I got sick of going to open that door 1000 times a day. Now I pretty much only use it when they go back to that behavior, or if there are friends or cousins over and I won't let them all be in there with the door closed.

 

Sort of like Kelly and other PPs, we treat doors very strictly. They are not allowed to open an outside door at all without permission, or any door away from home. Believe me, this has really come in handy in public restrooms!

Slamming is in my "dangerous" category, so I don't even count for it, I just give an immediate spank. We also had one scary experience with a finger caught on the hinge side of a door. She screamed for 15 minutes and cried for an hour, at least. I think it scarred me for life .

They will master doors fine without all the banging and risks.

 

Slamming doors is not only a safety thing, it's a treat things with respect thing here too. Plus, it's obnoxious and I hate listening to it! I put a rolled up towel over the door if the kids are in a room with a door (No smashed fingies here!) and the older two can earn a time out by slamming.

 

I have put a towel over the door. Safety things to prevent doors getting closed and for closet doors I used door stoppers. It was driving me NUTS but they passed that phase as well.

 

QUOTE(Minette @ Jan 14 2008, 10:33 PM) [snapback]572369[/snapback]
OK, so follow-up question: I'm wondering if keeping the doors from closing doesn't just delay the inevitable, since they need to learn how to behave appropriately with doors at some point.... Or is it more of a stopgap, until they're a little older and better able to learn?

To me (for a child the age of your girls) it is a bit of a stopgap but more of a backup. What I mean is I would correct them if I saw them messing around with a door so that they start to learn but having something to stop the doors from shutting means there isn't the worry that someone could get hurt in the meantime.
Also I never really disciplined for playing with doors. I'd just firmly tell them "No. Leave the door alone" and make sure they moved onto something else (but then again none of mine were really persistent in playing with doors. I could see doing time out, or whatever, if they wouldn't quit).

 

I also used a childproofing device that prevented doors from shutting all the way. One of my sons actually had to go to the emergency room when he had stuck his finger in the door at about 18 months old. (Thank goodnes it wasn't fractured!) So the door safety thing was really important after that.

It is a stop gap measure, but it's a battle that's better learned when they are closer to 3 years old. Terrible Twos was hard enough without trying to teach more lessons than necessary.

 

Oh, I forgot to add....I got a great home-made child-proof tip on here about a year ago for sliding closet doors. It still works like a charm:

I got a 1.5" wooden dowel at the hardware store (like $0.98) and some rubber feet to go on the ends ($0.17) so my walls wouldn't get marred.

I just cut the dowel to size, slipped the rubber feet on and put it high enough so the boys couldn't reach the bar. I simply pop it out to open the doors (i have one stick for each sliding door, so two per closet).

I can also child proof the doors open by putting them both on one side of the closet and then reinserting the bars....great for while I'm putting the clothes away.

I did have to replace the rubber feet on all the bars after about a year....but my total investment for both sliding closets is still under $5 total.

 

Our baby proofing kit included a plastic horseshoe shaped thingy that fits on the door and keeps it from closing. I call it the "door no closer" and I put in on the bedroom door that should stay open.

Chase, my little tattle tale, will grunt and point to the door if I forget to put it on

 

When my kids started this, we didn't want them to get hurt, so we put some foam pipe insulator on the top of the doors. You can get it at Home Depot. It's gray and some come presliced along the side, then you just put it on top of the door. The foan stops the door from shutting and it is too high for them to reach. It works great and it's cheap! HTH.