sitting in their room until they fall asleep

for months now, c&a will often play and jump and talk and throw animals to each other - the usual twin craziness - until they settle down for their nap. some days they fall asleep right away, some days within 30 mins and some days they can take an hour to fall asleep. well, our (relatively new) sitter sat in their room the other day folding clothes and they fell asleep so quickly with her in there (since they new they weren't allowed to jump or play of talk) that she's been using that strategy all week. they've been falling asleep within 15 mins each day. as a result, they are waking up happier and seem more rested. when they take forever to fall asleep i have to wake them up and then they are grumpy.

so - what do you think - it's this a good thing and we should keep it up as long as it works or is it a bad habit?

 

Well I personally think it's a bad thing to start. I know it seems like the best thing now since they go to sleep much quicker, but they are learning to have someone in there when they fall asleep. We did that my oldest DD, we would lay with her until she fell asleep when she first moved into a bed and we got tired of doing it every night. Kids need to learn to fall asleep on their own. We had to finally let DD fall asleep without us in there. It was a rough few days with lots of getting out of bed and us going upstairs, but I believe she is a better sleeper now because of it. JMO.

 

QUOTE(summerfun @ Apr 23 2008, 12:44 PM) [snapback]735843[/snapback]
Well I personally think it's a bad thing to start.

I agree. I think I would slowly move towards the door and even stand outsdie the dor for a day or two and hopefully they will still fall to sleep quickly.

 

I stay with my girls until they fall asleep always have and will until they move out if they want it that way. I work 40 hours a week and I love that time with them. I lay down with them (and often fall asleep there myself.)

If they wake up happier and are less grumpy then I think it is worth it.

 

since she has been doing it, has she tried NOT staying there and see if they fall asleep? i would at least try it and see what happens. I agree that it's not a great habit to get into. you may be just setting yourself up for future issues to deal with but if it's what you think they need for now, habits can just about ALWAYS be broken. you are the momma so do what you feel is in the best interest of your kids.

 

just to clarify - they are in cribs, so she is not laying with them, just sitting in the chair. and not interacting with them - just there to make sure they don't play. at night they go to sleep with no one in the room. i am going to see what happens this weekend when she is not here and i'll decide after that what to do.

 

Ok, from experience - I wouldn't do it!!! BUT THE SITTER IS ANOTHER THING!!! (Insert evil grin)

I did it at night when they were leaving the room - I eventually just moved outside the door and when they opened it, I put them back without words and removed a beloved privilege. (Music, Lightning McQueen light, lovies etc...)

Since this is nap time, you might either switch naptime to a tiny bit later or have her sit there and read (that's what I was doing - got several books read that way!) but at night when YOU put them down, I wouldn't!!!!

 

If they're playing for so long at nap time, is it possible they're going down too early and a later naptime might solve the problem?

I've never sat in the room or rocked my kids to sleep. They have always been able to soothe themselves (within reason) and fall asleep alone. I let mine "play" as long as they like before their nap. Sometimes they play for 5minutes, sometimes an hour, but in my case, it never affected their mood when they woke up (maybe because I always let them wake up on their own.)

My sister rocked her kids to sleep and she ended up with an 8 yo who couldn't fall asleep on her own!

Good luck with whatever you decide!

 

I think with the sitter it's fine and a different situation, I think if you started to do it, it is eventually going to cause a problem. I agree with the other poster that YOU should continue to put them to bed the way you always have. My kids always took 15-30 min to fall asleep just recently they started to go down within 5 minutes at night but naptime they always play for a little in their cribs and they have tents.

 

I started sitting in their room and reading when they switched to beds -- otherwise they weren't staying in. Verdict: I'm getting extra reading time, but I totally am losing my mind. I don't recommend it. I would do anything to reverse this decision. And now need to find a way out.

 

Personally, I wouldn't do it. I don't like to start anything that I do not want to continue. At this age though, they are pretty OK with separating things we do for naptime and bedtime, and that this person does X and this does Y, so if the sitter is OK with doing it, then it's up to her.

 

I would and did do this. I don't think it's a bad habit I think it's a good tactic (but I guess I also count as the 'sitter' so maybe that makes a difference).
For starters I think there is a big difference between sitting in the room not interacting with them and lying next to/cuddling a child in bed. IMO they are still falling asleep on their own as she is doing nothing to them, that is, she's providing no 'external' soothing or comforting-they are still self-soothing.
I don't know where about in their room she is sitting but what you could get her to do is move gradually closer to the door. So every couple of days she takes a step or two closer to the door from where she was before. When she gets to the door she spends a couple of days sitting in the doorway and then a couple of days sitting just outside the door (so that if she hears any messing around she can go right back in and make them lie down). At that point they should still be going to sleep quickly and she won't need to sit in there any more.


QUOTE
At this age though, they are pretty OK with separating things we do for naptime and bedtime, and that this person does X and this does Y

I think this is very true, I think you will find that how they act with the sitter at nap time will not affect how they act with you for nap and bedtime. Your sitter has found a way of getting them to be better rested and happier, surely that can only be a good thing.