Sitter Spanked my 10-Month-Old

My long-time nanny had to take some time off so I brought in a sitter from a well-respected agency and the sitter had fantastic references and clean back-ground check, drug test, etc. My nanny was there training her and my DH was working from his home office, so she was not alone with the girls. It was lunch time and all the girls were at the table and my nanny walked into the kitchen and heard "slap slap slap" and the baby started crying. She rushed in and asked what happened and she said she popped her hand because she was pushing her food around on her tray. It was much louder than a hand pop, more like a spank.

Well, DH escorted her out of the house and I am horrified and just sick. I am so thankful it happened while other adults were in the house because I can't even think what she would think was okay to do when no one was there to monitor her.

I wanted to post this and suggest that anyone who uses a sitter or nanny write out explicit instructions on what are acceptable forms of discipline in your absence as you just never know what someone thinks is okay to do, and they just might think spanking, jerking, popping, switching, arm-grabbing, yelling, etc. are acceptable when you do not. I will have this in writing and go over it verbally with any sitter, and continue to review it periodically. I "assumed" that the agency would not allow them to spank, but you can't assume anything. My nanny spanked one twin on her diaper (in front of me) when she grabbed the knob on the stove, which is acceptable to me, but not the baby for playing with food. Spell out what you want done.

I am so thankful that no serious damage was done and I got the wake-up call to be very clear on what is allowed for discipline.

 

OMG! I am so so very sorry. What a horrible and upsetting experience. It's a good warning for everyone. I can't imagine slapping a baby - it turns my stomach just to think about it.

 

:hug: i'm so sorry that happened! i think your idea about writing out acceptable discipline strategies is great.

have you filed a complaint with the agency?

 

Yes, I called immediately. The owner said it is against their policy to spank in any way, so she will be terminated.

 

I would have been livid too, I am so sorry this happened. Glad they're taking appropriate action and that you caught it

 

What nerve!!! WOW!! Thanks for the heads up! So glad you caught her in the act... :diablo:

 

OMG I would be mortified, I am so sorry you and your baby had to experience this.

Gosh, if she was my sitter she would be spanking my four year old all the time for pushing his food around his plate, isnt that what babies/kids do ?

 

:woah: So glad your nanny and your DH were home. Poor punkin.

 

Oh wow--that is so awful. I'm so sorry this happened to you but thank goodness someone was there! It would make me feel sick too...

 

OMG! I am so sorry that happened to you, I'd be very upset too.

 

I don't even know what to say to her behaviour!!! I'm just shaking my head over this. If its your own child and that is how you dicipline, then fine, but how dare someone else hit/slap/"pop" someone elses child!!!!

 

I have goosebumps. If she did that with other adults around, what has she done to other children when no one was looking??

I'm so glad everyone is okay and you filed a complaint. :hug:

 

Thank you for sharing your wise advice. I am sorry that happened to your DD and your family had to go through that :hug: I'm glad you filed a complaint! Pushing food around on a tray is definitely not spank worthy!

 

Oh how awful! :hug: So glad hubby and your nanny were there! And I am glad that you reported her! Last week in my city an 18 month old died from head trauma in her daycare provider's home and they took the provider into custody, she was with a reputable agency and had all her checks and clearances but that doesn't always mean anything. Your point about what is acceptable discipline and to write/talk it out in depth is great! Thanks for the reminder!