single moms

Most of you twin moms out there are married and have a 2nd pair of hands to help you thru the bedtime routine or let you sleep for a 3-4 hour stretch, I feel like most of you are so much more on top of things than I am and i'm just bouncing from one baby to the other all day. Nightime is my favorite time, it's about the only time they ever sleep at the same time! I don't feel like i can establish any sort of routine or schedule because i can't manage everything all at the same time. I mean, i guess each boy has his own individual schedule, they get up around the same time and eat and nap around the same time every day, but they are on completely opposite schedules of one another! i literally lay one down for a nap and get the other one up minutes later....all day long....it's wearing on me to do this day in and day out. And I feel like i'm completely isolated all the time, i take the boys out but i can't really have a social life while i'm lugging two babies around... i'm home alone all the time, it feels like...

Could someone take pity on me and loan me a nanny for the day so i can take a real bath and shave my legs?

 

:hug: I am not a single Mom, so I cant imagine how hard it must be.

How old are your boys? Are you able to try and keep them on the same schedule during the day so that you can catch a break and shave your legs?

 

:hug: Technically I am not a single mom, but my DH is a firefighter/paramedic and is gone 48-72+hrs at a time, so I distinctly remember days exactly like you described. It is beyond hard, and I cannot even tell you how many times I cried my eyes out with them!! I was also wondering how old your LO's are. I can promise you that it does get better. I want to say I started to see light at the end of the tunnel around 6 months old. Don't get me wrong, there are still days that are incredibly challenging, but overall it does get much easier. Do you have anyone that can come over and help you with them or relieve you for a couple hours so you can get some time to yourself? It is important that you make sure you are taking care of YOU! Good Luck! :hug:

 

QUOTE(pinky626 @ Mar 7 2009, 09:24 PM) [snapback]1218561[/snapback]
Could someone take pity on me and loan me a nanny for the day so i can take a real bath and shave my legs?


:hug: If you lived near me I would love to babysit for twinfants again for a day, I miss having newborns! I know it is tough but now I miss it so much! I am not a single mom but I can imagine how hard it must be. How old are your boys? Hang in there, it gets easier as they get older.

 

Hi! I have been a single mom with my first two and now I am with Jim but he left 10 days after the twins were born for 6 months. So Ive been there, I understand. It gets easier. I know everyone says that and even though next month might be easier that doesn't help you NOW. Just know that there is hope. If you can even get out once or twice a month does that help. I don't know if you can find a sitter for that or not. You get into a role and things just start working for you. Im sure you have heard some one say being a single mom is not easy and there is a reason for that. Ill say you are awsome. Being there and understanding what you are going through, tell some one else does it.... Not only is there no one to help, that emotional support, or warm body in bed, or someone to look forward to coming home is also void. Just keep your focus on your love for them tell you can find a break. If you can ask for help, ask. Hang in there, it is worth!

 

totally understand. I'm currently fighting my 3 year olds on their idea of bed time. and its 11:30. i think nana let them sleep too late this aftermnoon

 

I am not a single mom, so I just want to offer you some :grouphug: Do you have friends or family nearby that can come by to give you a break? Taking care of twinfants with two parents around is hard, when you are a single parent I know it is has to be harder and I give single parents a ton of kudos. Hang in there!

 

Lots of hugs you're way :hug: I'm not a single mom.. per say.. but sometimes I totally feel like one when I get no help from my SO. Hang in there & when times do get rough, just remember that the sun is somewhere shining even when it rains. People will appreciate you that much more for being able to do it by yourself.

 

QUOTE(pinky626 @ Mar 8 2009, 03:24 AM) [snapback]1218561[/snapback]
Most of you twin moms out there are married and have a 2nd pair of hands to help you thru the bedtime routine or let you sleep for a 3-4 hour stretch, I feel like most of you are so much more on top of things than I am and i'm just bouncing from one baby to the other all day. Nightime is my favorite time, it's about the only time they ever sleep at the same time! I don't feel like i can establish any sort of routine or schedule because i can't manage everything all at the same time. I mean, i guess each boy has his own individual schedule, they get up around the same time and eat and nap around the same time every day, but they are on completely opposite schedules of one another! i literally lay one down for a nap and get the other one up minutes later....all day long....it's wearing on me to do this day in and day out. And I feel like i'm completely isolated all the time, i take the boys out but i can't really have a social life while i'm lugging two babies around... i'm home alone all the time, it feels like...

Could someone take pity on me and loan me a nanny for the day so i can take a real bath and shave my legs?



Hey, BIG :hug: coming your way!!

Your post made me cry.. I am not a single mom but i can imagine how hard it is!! I have utmost respect for you and you should feel proud of yourself for being so strong!! Gosh i'm at breaking point and i have had my partners help the last 2 wks lol
I'm sorry i don't have anything in the way of advice but i'm hanging on to the fact that everyone says it gets better in time so here's to hoping time hurries right up!

You take good care and stay strong!
Love
Liz xxxxx

 

Big hugs hun - i too am a single mom (3 weeks out of a month) My partner works up north. So i feel your pain. I have yet to find a way to keep my sanity most of the time. I do have family well papas parents, the MIL so they help when I ask, it's hard to ask tho. Weird right. Your day sounds like mine, we suck at nap times, never seems to be the same day to day. And never consistent, except bed time, i love bed time, I also have a 5 year old to tend to and this week is spring break. OMG I hope i survive.

Best wishe hun, I will pm you and you can vent to me, I totally relate to haveing to do EVERYTHING ALONE. It can be done, and you a stronger mom for it.

 

Hi there,

I was a single mom to my first son, but will have the benefit of a partner (albeit on the job training) for the twins when they arrive…this Tuesday! aaaghh

With DS, I remember having someone watch him for15 mins so I could use the bathroom and just sitting in there on the toilet with my head in hands, wondering how long I could get away with hiding quietly in there before someone came looking for me! I remember thinking that all those people who simply had to drive daily in commute traffic for hours or work 8-6 in cubicles had the cushiest lives imaginable. Standing in line at the DMV was pretty darn appealing if it meant I would be there ALL BY MYSELF.

My oldest is now 7 and he is my best friend in the world. Looking back to that colicky baby, with horrible asthma, off and on oxygen, who never slept through the night…I do find it slightly hard to believe at times! My very longwinded point is that I so, totally hear you! Not sure how old your munchkins are…maybe 5 months now? Every single day that passes gets you towards that easy place. Promise. Cross my heart.

 

Yeah, where are you at Pinky?

Have you joined a twins club? I know that our local club is very supportive of it's members and all you would have to do is ask for a day and you would have plenty of people helping you out.

 

I just wanted to give you big HUGS, I am not a single mom and can't imagine doing this all on my own. My husband is going to be starting work out of town for 4 days/week home on the weekends and I am terrified. You are my hero.

 

Sending huge hugs to you...I can't imagine how hard it is doing it alone...I only know how hard it is with a partner around. Getting an outlet is SO important. Do you have any friends near you whom you trust to come over and watch your babies so you can shower, shave, andperhaps even nap...or get out and walk around? I know hearing "it gets easier" doesn't mean much now, but do know there is a silver lining at the end of the tunnel.

 

I am a single mom of twin 7 month old boys. I now work full time and have a nanny but before I returned to work I was close to pulling out what was left of my hair. The first couple of months was hard - I couldn't find the time to take a shower, much less clip my toenails. I was saved by friends who sometimes visited on Saturdays and Sundays which gave me time to clean up the house and launder tons of baby clothes. If you have friends close by, I urge you not to feel shy about asking them to help out - a friend in need is a friend in deed.
When my friends are MIA on the weekends, as they are apt to do because they have a life, I sometimes think I am going crazy. I still can't manage a night out with the girls. Welcome to motherhood!

 

I am a single mom also....and my girls tend to be on opposite schedules. One wakes up multiple times at night and gets up 2 hours or more before her sister most mornings...then wants to nap at about the time her sister wakes up and wants to eat. It is really hard at this point....the lack of sleep and having almost no time for anything other than taking care of my girls.

 

I'm not a single mom, but with my DH's work schedule I only have his help for about 2 hours a day, and half of that time is spent at the dinner table! He sleeps in the other room so he can be awake enough to be safe at work, so all the night time stuff is on me. That means 22 hrs a day I'm flying solo, and I also have a 3 yr old who's no in school yet. It is not easy! I have a lot of sympathy for single moms! :hug:

It sounds like your boys really need to be on the same schedule. I find that by always feeding and changing the babies at the same time, they tend to get tired around the same time. That means they nap together instead of one after the other (most of the time!). Sometimes you have to wear them out beforehand so they'll be nice and tired for a nap. Routines can be really simple, like after breakfast you put them on the floor to play for 30 minutes. Or after lunch you read them a book, sing a lullaby, and put them down for a nap. Once you have the naptimes going well, they are the anchors for your schedule.

 

I'm not a single mom, but with my DH's work schedule I only have his help for about 2 hours a day, and half of that time is spent at the dinner table! He sleeps in the other room so he can be awake enough to be safe at work, so all the night time stuff is on me. That means 22 hrs a day I'm flying solo, and I also have a 3 yr old who's no in school yet. It is not easy! I have a lot of sympathy for single moms! :hug:

It sounds like your boys really need to be on the same schedule. I find that by always feeding and changing the babies at the same time, they tend to get tired around the same time. That means they nap together instead of one after the other (most of the time!). Sometimes you have to wear them out beforehand so they'll be nice and tired for a nap. Routines can be really simple, like after breakfast you put them on the floor to play for 30 minutes. Or after lunch you read them a book, sing a lullaby, and put them down for a nap. Once you have the naptimes going well, they are the anchors for your schedule.