Should I reward one and not the other?

Would this be completely unfair if I reward Sarah for filling up her incentive chart because of her effort in pottying and not Allison? Allison has not peed in the potty at all, but Sarah has only two squares left before her entire chart is filled. I thought about getting her Elmo panties b/c she has been asking for them. Would it be completely unfair to reward Sarah with the panties and not let Allison have any? It seems kind of mean, but Sarah really does deserve to have them for her hard work.

 

I think it's perfectly acceptable to award individual achievement. You can tell Allison, "Look! You'll get to pick out undies too when you fill your chart!!!" and get her excited about it!

 

We did ours on two separate occasions. Sarah earned it, as did Hannah in our house. If you are lucky, maybe Allison will be super proud and excited for her sister, like Ben was for his sister. He was so excited that SHE got panties. And when Ben finally earned his underwear, Hannah was excited for him.

Look at it this way, as they grow up, this will happen time and time again. One will EARN something while the other does not. Use this as an opportunity to teach your girls to celebrate each others' successes and not just their own!

 

I understand your concern. I agree with the previous posts. I have not been through this myself; however, I can see how this may become an incentive for the child not using the potty. Good luck.

 

Definitely! Reward those who are deserves it. There have been many times that one of ours gets dessert and the other doesn't.

 

Absolutely one should be rewarded when they do something despite the other. Rewarding one, may encourage the other to do the same.

 

I'd definitely get her the panties as a reward. I have 1 trained and 1 not and my MIL came up last weekend and did let both girls pick out big girl panties, but Madison doesn't get to wear hers yet since she doesn't care about using the potty. So far, its not been an issue at all with her.

 

Thanks, ladies, for the replies. My husband and I were really discussing this and trying to figure out if it would have a negative effect on Allison. I think I will take Sarah to the store tomorrow and let her pick out her Elmo panties for her reward. She is doing such a fantastic job!!

 

We recently did this with our kids. Anna has been potty trained and, each time she went, she got to pick a toy from her treasure chest. Ian refused to even try. So, he didn't get any. Anna got about 15 toys, but Ian still hasn't gotten one. When he goes, he will get toys and Anna won't get anymore.

Fair is rewarding each child as an individual, not refusing to reward someone because someone else didn't earn it.

 

I would get Sarah the panties too - she earned them!! I would just make sure to handle it like this with Allison:

QUOTE(~* dfaut *~ @ Oct 7 2008, 07:31 PM) [snapback]1016431[/snapback]
I think it's perfectly acceptable to award individual achievement. You can tell Allison, "Look! You'll get to pick out undies too when you fill your chart!!!" and get her excited about it!

 

QUOTE(Stacy A. @ Oct 7 2008, 08:57 PM) [snapback]1016670[/snapback]
We recently did this with our kids. Anna has been potty trained and, each time she went, she got to pick a toy from her treasure chest. Ian refused to even try. So, he didn't get any. Anna got about 15 toys, but Ian still hasn't gotten one. When he goes, he will get toys and Anna won't get anymore.

Fair is rewarding each child as an individual, not refusing to reward someone because someone else didn't earn it.


I love the treasure chest idea. I could include the panties in there as a part of the chest that way Allison can see that is something she can choose for her reward.