It's almost 5 am and Caleb has just now stopped crying after an HOUR AND A HALF! Is this normal? I didn't even plan to do this tonight but I just couldn't go in there. Braxton sleeps in our room so I decided in my sleep deprived stupor that it would be a fabulous idea to do CIO with Caleb for the next week or so starting tonight right then and there and when he's magically cured then I'll switch them and do Braxton. Yeah, great idea! I never would have dreamed he would cry for more than 30 minutes. In his 11 months of living he has NEVER cried for more than 30 minutes! So at the 40 minute point, all I want to do is run in there and nurse him back to sleep but I keep thinking about all the posts that say don't turn back and that then his crying will have been for nothing. UGH! So here I am...NOT sleeping, teary-eyed, drowning in defeat, drinking a bottle of wine sans glass. What the **** have I gotten myself into? Please tell me...you've gotta be effing kidding me! The stupid alarm clock is going off now! WAKE UP AND TURN THAT S**T OFF!!!!! That's it. I'm outta here. Someone please tell me tomorrow will be better. Should I go in right after he starts crying and pat him and let him know I'm there and THEN leave him to CIO? Help me....and help twinboys07 as well...and outnumbered too....I'm sorry I can't remember your real names right now...wait, Erin is twinboys07...help Erin...Oh God help us!!!
OMG. You are funny!!!!!!!!!!! I am sorry but you are! I like your sense of humor.. and it's a good sign that it's STILL there. You are doing a good job. I probably wouldn't do them at separate times tho.. That could take a while!! Good luck. You'll be fine. I told other people this but it's a lifesaver---- go somewhere where you cannot hear them crying. Turn on fans, music whatever-- you cannot hear it or it isn't going to work!! Oh and obviously-- NO MONITORS!!!
My boys cried for 1.5 hours the first night of cio too. It was so hard. The second night was a little over an hour and for the next 2 weeks it was 10-15 mins. A month later and they still wake for pacis, but it's so much easier and only once a night per baby. Last night it was 5am and the other slept till 6:30 and wanted to get up (bm in diaper). It does get better, but it's not an instantaneous solution. Stick to your guns. I found it easier to listen to them cry if I was reading a book. It made the hour go by faster. :hug99:
:love0028: It does get better. Personally, I did not go in at all, since it seemed to make the crying worse, and last longer.
:hug99: :hug99: :hug99: Well at least you stuck to your guns.... I went in and fed them each... twice! I suck at this ! I wish I had some advice to offer, but I obviously don't, just LOTS of sympathy. In my head I know CIO is the fastest, most effective way of sleep training (especially twins) and that as mothers our sleep and sanity are a priority, but in my heart a crying baby needs it's mother. For me, CIO is the ultimate battle of mind over matter.
I suck at CIO too. I tried it a couple of nights ago and gave up. I just could not stand it. My DH was no help either b/c he went in and got DS. I wish I could get me and DH through CIO.
CIO was horrible. Aiden could go for 2 hrs straight. He'd simmer for like 2 mins & we'd think...ahhhh...finally...and then he'd start right back up. I turned up the fan, put ear plugs in, & turned the monitor so I could only see the lights. I was somewhat obsessed in knowing WHEN he fell back to sleep (I couldn't just go to sleep & not know how long he'd go), so watching the lights on the monitor helped for when he stopped. I'd wait a few mins & go peek on him...usually still sighing in his sleep from crying so hard. I also had to not go in at all. For my boys, going in made everything worse. They'd cry HARDER when we left again. I hated it b/c I never knew if they truly were upset for a reason (ie poopy, puked, diaper blow out, stuck in blanket/crib, etc), but since that was NEVER the issue, I began to get reassured to not go in. Believe me, I scoured the internet for video monitors...sometimes even as they cried ! I had to separate mine for CIO. I know some people prefer them together, but mine would just work the other one up & never settle until they were separated. To this day, they totally play off each other's crying. It took about a week or so for our night wakings to improve (ours were not for feeding, just habitual night wakings) & even know we battle early morning wake ups, but the few extra 'uninterrupted' hours of sleep are heavenly. Hang in there. Don't give in. It WILL get better & then you'll ALL be well rested & feeling better overall!!!!
I'm sorry. I don't think I could stomach 90 minutes of crying! I tend to be a stickler for the rules, but of course that's easy to say because we haven't had to do CIO to this degree. Egad, I am counting my blessings.... That said, if someone wakes at night, I do go in to check to make sure he/she isn't stuck, poopy, pukey, whatever. I then rock and soothe for a couple minutes, and put the baby back down awake. If they fuss for 15-20 minutes, fine. If they escalate to full-blown screaming, I go back in and try again. I never feed. (Once or twice I have fed out of desperation, and that only results in spitting up from an over-full tummy, so there's no point.) I've found that the worst nights are when they've napped too much during the day, so they're not tired enough to sleep at night. That's contrary to the whole "sleep begets sleep" thing, but it's certainly true for us. If you've been nursing back to sleep in the middle of the night, can you work on one thing at a time? Meaning, go in and soothe for a bit, but not nurse? Maybe once they figure out that they're not getting the boob, they'll decide it's not worth waking up? (Sorry if you've already tried that -- I haven't followed all the CIO threads.) Hugs to you....
QUOTE(Becca34 @ May 14 2008, 01:14 PM) [snapback]772503[/snapback] If you've been nursing back to sleep in the middle of the night, can you work on one thing at a time? Meaning, go in and soothe for a bit, but not nurse? Maybe once they figure out that they're not getting the boob, they'll decide it's not worth waking up? (Sorry if you've already tried that -- I haven't followed all the CIO threads.) Hugs to you.... This is exactly what my pediatrician told me and I tried it one time but having them pull my shirt and try to nuzzle their little heads in there while crying just KILLS me! I think it makes them feel rejected. But then CIO makes them feel ignored! I tried going in to just pat but they're literally pulling me in to the crib with them...it's just depressing either way.
QUOTE(serranoboys @ May 14 2008, 07:19 AM) [snapback]772626[/snapback] This is exactly what my pediatrician told me and I tried it one time but having them pull my shirt and try to nuzzle their little heads in there while crying just KILLS me! I think it makes them feel rejected. But then CIO makes them feel ignored! I tried going in to just pat but they're literally pulling me in to the crib with them...it's just depressing either way. A couple things come to mind! :hug99: First of all ANY ENTRY into their room during this time, essentially starts the process over. So, if you are going cold turkey - go all the way. Otherwise read a Ferber type approach and see how that works for you. I do not believe that CIO harms a baby and did it myself, but never went back in and the worst I dealt with was naps for DS 45 min. of yelling and screaming (not crying) and that was around 10-11 mos. after they had already been sleeping through the night since 4 mos. 2nd, CIO IS NOT FOR EVERYONE! :hug99: If it's not the method for you, there is no shame in it. Do what works for you and your family. :hug99:
I can feel the tenseness from your post. I am so sorry. I look at it this way....they CANT cry forever. It's impossible, stick with it. Have you got an i-pod, anything that you can plug into your ears? I sure hope it gets better for you.
:hug99: I did it for naps and it was torture but my girls are awesome nappers now! I have not done it to STTN because I think they are almost there on their own, they're so close! Listening to them cry really sucks but I do think it works and they dont remember any of it when they wake up. Good luck!!
I am soooo sorry your night was so awful. I wish there was anything in the WORLD that I could do to make it easier for you. This is such a very, very hard thing to do (understatement of the century!). Thanks for thinking of me at the height of your misery! About one hour after Caleb fell asleep (we're 2 hours behind you), Jackson woke up and I did nurse him, and he STILL cried for an HOUR. It wasn't the Exorcist-style, back-arching, hysterical screaming that he's been performing for the past week, but it was still awful. I have decided: I am planning to do full-blown CIO starting on Thurs night since my DP works from home on Fri and then has the weekend off. I try to protect her sleep on work nights because it makes life better for all of us (she works outside of the home). I am hoping the worst of it is over by Monday. Sorry to thread-jack... I so wish I could make this better for all of us, or fast-forward time... or at least join you somewhere between here and Texas for a 4 am drink!!! :hug99: Hang in there... I know it doesn't seem like it, but they can't cry like this every night forever... I mean, I hope not. I couldn't send Jack off to college crying for 4 hours per night! Sometimes thinking WAY into the future is the only thing that brings me solace... knowing that while it's killing me now, he WILL survive, he seems like a happy kid every day despite the crying/screaming and the absence of my constant soothing... he still loves me... and someday it will stop-- it HAS to stop!-- and he and I will both get some sleep. Then I get to deal with Jacob and his sleeping situation... *sigh* Wish I could make it all better! I'll be thinking of you!!
hugs to you! my experience with going in there while they are crying is that they end up crying harder and longer. i've only done CIO during the day for naps... the pedi said i could do it at night, but i'm just not quite ready yet. they get up once, and it's getting later and later, so like cohlee, i think my girls are ready to do it on their own. hopefully! i can listen to them cry during hte day cuz i can keep myself busy folding laundry or whatever, but at night i have nothing to do but lay in bed and listen to it. just remember that they forget all about it, and will be happier in teh end because of it!
QUOTE(serranoboys @ May 14 2008, 10:19 AM) [snapback]772626[/snapback] This is exactly what my pediatrician told me and I tried it one time but having them pull my shirt and try to nuzzle their little heads in there while crying just KILLS me! I think it makes them feel rejected. But then CIO makes them feel ignored! I tried going in to just pat but they're literally pulling me in to the crib with them...it's just depressing either way. Okay -- then wait 'til the weekend, and send in your DH! If he doesn't hear them and wake up naturally, put the monitor right next to his head.
"Okay -- then wait 'til the weekend, and send in your DH! If he doesn't hear them and wake up naturally, put the monitor right next to his head." I agree! I'm sorry if this has been asked before but how do they go down to sleep for the night? BF to sleep or drowsy but awake? I'm guessing since this is taking place in the middle of the night they know how to fall asleep, it's just the staying asleep that's skewed? Here's my .02, I tried CIO with my older ds a few times but it wasn't right for me at that time. The last attempt he was about 10 months and cried/sobbed/screamed for over an hour. I just couldn't handle that. I read the "No Cry Sleep Solution" and I had better results but I didn't follow that method too strictly. I have no will power between 12a - 5a, I just want sleep. As a result of this, my oldest ds was THREE before he sttn consistently. I have done CIO with the twins a few times but they never lasted long. They knew how to go to sleep but were fighting it. My dh felt bad about me CIO with the twins but I was NOT having a repeat of my oldest ds. You need to follow your conscience. If you know intellectually this is right for you then stick with it. It is vital for children to learn to fall asleep by themselves and sttn. In my experience, the older they are, the harder they fight and the longer the fight lasts. Best to get it done early. You will get through this. You're a twin mommy, you can do anything. Good luck. Christy
Earplugs were the only way we could get through the CIO without wimping out. It was truly heart-breaking to hear every second of the hour and a half crying session the first night, so I got some earplugs the next day and it made it soooooooo much more tolerable. By the fourth night, we were down to a 5 or 10 minute squawk, and now (1.5 months later), DD is the best sleeper. We haven't done CIO with DS yet (we didn't have to back then) and now we wakes once or twice a night and needs a bit of back-patting to get back to sleep. I know we will need to CIO with him soon, but I'm just not looking forward to it....
