She WONT sleep in her own bed!

Hi all!

I put the twins in toddler beds about 3 weeks ago now. Michael is doing better and not rolling out as much. But Mikayla screams and refuses to get into her bed. She will go sleep with Michael in his bed, or want to sleep with mommy and daddy or in the co-sleeper....but NOT her bed.

I don't get it. She always slept in her crib....and the toddler bed is her crib but without the bars. Is she just lonely and wants to sleep with people? She panics if she is alone except for the co-sleeper (she has been sleeping in that forever...longer than her crib).

What should I do?? I discourage her from sleeping w/mommy and daddy because I don't want her to get into a bad habit. Sometimes when she falls asleep in the co-sleeper or our bed, we move her to her bed...and she wakes up an hour or 2 later SCREAMING!

Bridget

 

Oh I can relate. My advice do not give into her sleeping in your bed or you will have my problem. I have been dealing with Kelby like he is scared and shakes when I put him in his bed by himself. We now lay with him until he goes to sleep, but I don't recommend that either because it takes up to an hour. Have you tried the sleep lady's advice. Sit close to her bed for 3 days move further away? Try to get a handle on it now before you get in my situation and have no idea how to break it. Last night I sit in their room by the door, but when I got up Kelby (I swear he has an alarm on him when I get up) springs up and cries. He ended up sleeping with me.

 

I wrote this in response to another post, but some of it may help you.

We just switched to big kid beds. I drew up a colorful poster with our "Sleep Rules" and decorated it. "Turn out the light, get into bed, close your eyes, lay very still, and fall asleep. If it's still dark, we stay in bed." They are 2 1/2 also, and obviously can't read, but we go over it several times during the day and once more at bedtime. I think you also need to stop putting them to sleep in your bed. Set the expectation that they will sleep in their own beds, be encouraging and excited for them, and stick to it. Giving in only reinforces their behavior. You may have to suffer thru a week of bad sleep on your part as you re train your kids, but in the long run, full nights of sleep w/o the kids in your bed will be great.

If they get up at night, I go in and put them back in their beds, don't talk to them, don't meet their eyes. I'm loving, but not responsive - responding to them only validates the attention they are wanting to delay bedtime. I have several cousins who have done this method with their toddlers with great success. Night one, they get out of bed 50 times. Night two they get out of bed 100 times. Night three, 25 times, Night four, 10 times, etc. on average from my cousins reports.

I also have a sticker chart and let them know if they get a sticker for staying in bed all night and following the rules, they'll get a cookie the next morning - Fig newtons - they'd never had them before, so it's a "new" treat. If they cry, I let them go a few minutes, and usually they calm on their own. One night, Ry got his leg stuck between the bed and the wall, but I knew instantly from the tone of his cry and was up there in a flash to get him out.

We close their door, but haven't locked it. So far, night one was a bit of a rumpus, night two went a lot better, and here's hoping night three will not be too bad. I don't expect instant obedience, but with perseverance on our part, and an agreement with DH and I about how we will handle their behavior, I think we'll have some success for the long run. It helps also that we made a big deal out of their "new" big kid beds, and how it's such a priviledge. Also, I think the repetition with them, talking all day about the "Sleep Rules" helps. Their memories continue to astound me, and I want to take advantage of their intelligence. Good luck, you will find a solution for your family, just may take some imagination to find the right currency for your kids, and some dedication on you and DH's part to stick to the new rules.

(ETA: We are going on night 6 now, and this method has worked really well so far, with few missteps. I've been reading a lot about how to make this work, and I'm excited with the kids response to date, so I'm hopeful that we've hit on a solution that will work for us in the long run, even if the first few weeks are rocky.)

 

Did you convert the cribs to beds because they were climbing out? If not I would probably just put the bars back on. If she is happy sleeping in a crib but not a bed then why not let her have a crib?

Otherwise maybe you could try some kind of guard/safety rail, in case she is just scared of falling out.

 

If she was content sleeping in her crib, why the rush to put her in a bed? I say put her back in the crib if she sleeps better that way.

Michelle

 

Maybe she's scared of falling out. I'd put the bars back on if she isn't climbing out of it.

Otherwise you might try one of the heart beat bears so she doesn't feel alone

 

I know some kids hated their toddler beds, but were fine in regular twin beds. Just a thought....

 

I might go back to the crib if you can. Otherwise. I sit in the room sometimes and when they get up, I just put them back w/o speaking and put them back down and lie them down and then when her breathing evens out and calms down you can slip out of the room.

I do this at naptime frequently because they don't want to nap, but they NEED the nap! I feel your pain and hope it goes better!!