She is STILL at it and it breaks my heart, everytime

Jack and Lily are 9.5 months now and LILY is STILL screaming herself to sleep every nap and at bedtime. She has been doing this since we stopped swaddling her at 4 months and you all know I have posted about it before. Now that she has started walking it is getting worse. I take them upstairs 15 minutes early and we read in her room. The second I try to put the sleep sack she starts screaming and wiggling and trying to get away. I hold her for a bit which calms her down for a minute, sometimes. She has never ever been one to fall asleep in our arms or being rocked as an infant and now she does better if you just plop her in her crib and run. I turn around at the door and there she is standing with her face peering up above the crib rail scream so loud and hard that she can barely catch her breath. She has the big old tears running down her tiny little face (literally, her head is only in the 5% in size so her whole face turns upside down when she cries) and now she is moaning mammm mammm. I put Jack down next in his room and then downstairs I come to listen to her 10 minute scream fest before she falls asleep.

She is a VERY smart girl but one would think she would realize, after 5.5 months of this, that we are not going to go in and get her. She must really be miserable all alone in there.

I hate every single minute that I have to listen to her wail and watch her flop around like a fish out of water on the monitor.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Amy

 

:hug99:

I'm not there yet, but can imagine the heartbreak. I hope she gets it soon!

 

:hug99: Amy. This is the reason why I could never do CIO and why my girls still don't sleep. Just wanted to give you :hug99:

 

Amy - I'm sorry. Mine have taken to screaming bloody murder at night before they go to sleep now, too, if it helps to know someone else's babies do the same thing. Hope someday she'll just lay down and go to sleep!

:hug99:

Erica.

 

Have you tried giving her something to hold? Maybe a book to look at? We let Cody cuddle a burp rag & he loves it.

 

I am sure you are hating every minute of it. *hugs*

Dianna

 

Maybe she just isn't ready to fall asleep alone yet. Not that she "won't" but she "can't."

I'm sorry it isn't easier.

 

QUOTE(mich17 @ Mar 19 2008, 06:51 PM) [snapback]677374[/snapback]
Have you tried giving her something to hold? Maybe a book to look at? We let Cody cuddle a burp rag & he loves it.


I tried to give her the gund blanket/dog that she loves so much but it did not make a difference -- she actually cried just as much and sort of kept away from it in the crib like she was annoyed that it was taking up all of her angry body flinging space!

Thanks for the suggestion though! She is just such a sleep fighter!

 

If CIO isn't working, could you try some non-CIO methods? One of my friends absolutely loves Elizabeth Pantley's book (The No-Cry Sleep Solution). I really liked the Baby Whisperer books, even though we don't follow it to the letter. Maybe you could at least find some calming tips?

Hang in there!!!

:love0028:

 

That sucks. I am so sorry that you have to listen to screaming. Maybe giving something else a try might not be such a bad idea or stick to your guns.

 

:hug99:

 

QUOTE(DATJMom @ Mar 19 2008, 11:32 PM) [snapback]677926[/snapback]
That sucks. I am so sorry that you have to listen to screaming. Maybe giving something else a try might not be such a bad idea or stick to your guns.



I really would not know what else to do. We can count on one hand the number of times she has EVER rested her head on our shoulders. She will not fall asleep in our arms or bed or while being rocked or anything. I have tried going in and rubbing her back but it just makes it worse. From day 1 she has HATED to go to sleep and no matter how soon or how late or how much holding or no holding or loveys or no loveys she is miserably screaming for about 10 minutes and then she usually stops and falls right to sleep. The thing that kills me about it is that it has gone on for soooooo many months now. Thanks goodness it does not last longer than about 10 minutes, it is just sooo intense. I guess she always does what seems like a scream, I have never heard a little cry out of her. As our ped says, she is 0-60 in like 2 seconds.

Thanks for all of your help and suggestions!

 

It sounds like you have tried everything & she is just "one of those kids".... good for you for being strong !!

 

It does seem like that's how she likes to fall asleep. One of my nieces was like that. She grew out of it at 18-24 months I think? Her mom and dad vowed they would never do CIO but basically that's what they had to do with her. It was like she refused to sleep or just needed to scream and flail to work out some inner turmoil before she could rest.

:hug99: I'm sure it's really rough.

 

While Meara doesn't do this every time she goes to sleep, she does have to cry and wail before most naps. And it does break my heart, but she wakes up smiling and happy so I think she just needs to get that energy out before settling down. I hope your little girl and mine grow out of it soon. :hug99:

 

QUOTE(Leighann @ Mar 20 2008, 01:14 PM) [snapback]678604[/snapback]
While Meara doesn't do this every time she goes to sleep, she does have to cry and wail before most naps. And it does break my heart, but she wakes up smiling and happy so I think she just needs to get that energy out before settling down. I hope your little girl and mine grow out of it soon. :hug99:



Me too Leighann, me too!

 

QUOTE(heathertwins @ Mar 20 2008, 06:09 AM) [snapback]678394[/snapback]
It sounds like you have tried everything & she is just "one of those kids".... good for you for being strong !!



If she is "one of those kids" and this goes on for awhile, do you think it is bad for them in anyway. Meaning, do you think this is one of those things we are going to have to go to therapy for and then I am going to have to pretent that it never happened? !!

 

You are such an amazing person. It has to be so unbelievably difficult to deal with that each day. My boys still cry at bedtime and it kills me. One in particular is just so strong-willed! At least you know that there is nothing else you can do to soothe her (not the case with me-- Jacob just wants to cuddle forever), and you are doing the best thing for her by ensuring she gets the rest she so vitally needs. Her advanced development speaks volumes about how wonderfully she is cared for and how well you are meeting her needs (even if she resists!). :hug99: It can't last forever... and we can't wait to receive the news that one day (hopefully soon!) she will have stopped crying herself to sleep.

 

Lily is going to be the one who gets things done in this world. She will be the person who is an advocate for others because her persistence will continue when others give-up. She will fight for others and for what she wants and deserves in this world. She'll be strong, but maintain a sweet broken spirit that can experience empathy and sadness when things don't go her way. Sounds like an amazing person to me!

Hang in there. I think of you often when my Lulu screams - screams - screams before sleeping...crazy little thing. I have had more anxiety attacks in the last two months than in my whole adult life! I keep telling myself that Lily used to scream for 45 minutes and now she screams for 10.

 

There is an aromatherapy or homeopathic remedy - I wish I didn't have such a mommy brain or maybe I'd remember the name - that you diffuse in the room to keep babies calm. I don't know if it works but it can't hurt. I became a convert to this kind of thing because it really really works for my cats when they travel or go to the vet and there is no placebo effect with them.

I'll post again if I think of it but maybe somebody else knows it. I think it is in a vaporizer.

http://www.bonvalecreations.com.au/prod160.htm This isn't it but it's like it.

Good luck,
Amelia

 

You are describing my 8 year old to the detail. To this day she fights sleep like CRAZY. The only things that helped were getting new toys that were only for her crib and rotating them so she thought she had something new. It was ROUGH. I've been there, I'm sorry. One other thing that helped was a CD or tape. Even a tape of you telling/reading her a story.

The PP were right though - this is the child who will take the world by storm! She will change the world! The older she gets, the more fun she is!