she completely scared me!

So i was just starting to relax about the idea of having twins, at first I was scared, suprised, nervouse, happy all at once we have a three year old already so how do I do this. I'm now about 14 weeks along and was starting to relax we started shopping and have had a few u/s so I'm thinking ok god wouldnt have given me this blessing if I couldnt handle it...........
but...
A friend just had her twins a month ago, they've been home for two weeks and I've sorta left her be figuring she needed to get adjusted and didnt need me over with my three year old running crazy through the house with her five year old. Plus she lives with her mom, and I know others have been over that didnt go to the hospital whilew they were there so I assumed she was ok....But today I got a email...assuming she just needed to vent, being the only two of our friends with and expecting twins I'm sure we'll be bonding alot.....but she scared the bejeebers out of me.....she was like OMG I cant believe how hard this is I dont know how your gonna do this with Anthony still being so young, It's been two weeks and things are so crazy here, let me know how your doing and feeling, love you, Bye.....I know she's still adjusting and needed to vent but now I'm like oh gosh can I handle this! My moms taking a week off to help me but will that be enough, I mean she lives with her mom and is having a hard time. Granted I have my Hubby who is an absolute awsome dad!, my friends BF doesnt live with her and he aint the greatest. But my DH works a good 60-80 hours a week which wont stop much sence I'll be a stay at home mom once the babies come. But as remembering with my son he good with the 10/11 feeding sence he's just winding down and not inbed yet so that gave me some sleep and he would wake up for the morning feeding and let me get an extra hour so with my son I seriously got my eight hours of sleep I just needed to wake up to feed/change twice which took 15 minutes which was the same as my middle of the night peeing sessions during pregnancy..LOL....But now with two will the DH still be able to handle it alone.
Oh gosh....well I'm sure this too will pass once I hear the heart beats again on Tuesday at the next OB apt.

Sorry for my venting.....But thank god for this site

 

I have a three year old and I'm just as nervous as you are. I guess we'll just have to figure it out as we go along. What else can we do right? Mine are due any day now... look forward to hearing how you are doing...

 

Hey, try to calm down.
We all know that it woudl be hard with toddler on hand but there is needs to make your crazy about it.
there is just such type of person hwo like to complain and it make them feel better.
I am sure you would be fine with twins and toddler. I agree it wouldn't be very easy but remember the babies are sleeping and eating so the goal make them to do it on the same schedule and try to relax during there sleep.

Please keep your spirit up. I am almost 12 weeks with DS - 3yo he would be almost 4 when twins will arrive. and I think I would be able to handle it. the worse case I would hire the nanny earlier then I thought.

 

I can understand why you are feeling overwhelmed. We just brought our twin girls home from the NICU 2 days ago and we have a 2 1/2 year old daughter. I won't lie....it is tough but it is also WONDERFUL!! I wouldn't trade it for anything! Just be prepared to be exhausted. The biggest thing we are having to do is find ways for our 2 1/2 year old daughter to help. She seems ok with things as long as she is able to help and be "The Best Big Sister in the World!". She gets diapers and wipes, carries the bottles, gets burp cloths, and it is her "job" to let us know when a baby is crying. She feels so important and things are truly going better than I ever expected. I think it all has to do with the expectations you set beforehand. I knew it would be tough but I never imagined how great it would be as well! Good luck!

 

:hug: I can imagine how you feel. This is my first pregnancy so I don't have the added fear of doing it with a toddler (though I do have the first-timer fear of how will I learn what I'm doing fast enough to do it for 2?), and I am still not completely 100% relaxed with the idea of twins. In fact I have been pretty upset for the past few weeks (I'm 8 weeks). But the reason I'm replying to your post is that the one conversation I've had that REALLY helped me feel better and get excited was with a woman who had a 2 1/2 year old when she had her twins. She definitely said that it was difficult. BUT she also said that it is doable. She said it is extremely important to ask for help, especially with the toddler. But she also said it has been the best experience of her life, and that she is glad that she had them in the order that she did. She didn't go crazy, didn't have a hateful time...just your "normal," albeit challenging, twin experience, which she came out of sane and happy and in love with her kids (who are now 4 and adorable and well adjusted!!). So this can happen for you too. And when you need to vent like your friend, as I'm sure we all will during those first few months...you can come here to this website and vent away!

I hope you're back to being calm and optomistic soon!

 

Hi- Scared here too ((hug)) I am 27 weeks and have a little guy who turned 4 today.

 

Relax for now.... I have a 6 year old DD who, most of the time, is my only help. I also have a 20 month old DD. DH works 60+ hours a week and I've had no help other than my 6 yr old and DH when he's home. The hardest part is that my 20 month DD wants me to hold her all the time. She's having a hard time, but slowly getting better. i will admit that the first few days, I got by on 2 hours of sleep per every 24, just because my twins have their days/nights mixed up. They say to sleep when the babies sleep, but you can't really do that when you have a completely mobile and curious toddler running around. Even if you have a friend that can hold babies while you take a nap, you'll be fine. It really isn't that bad. My DH would tell you that I like to sleep, it used to be one of my favorite things to do, and if I didn't get at least 7-8 hours a day AND get to sleep in a bit on the weekends, I was a bear. I realize now how much I missed out on with all that needless sleep. Good luck, and like i said, relax for now, while you can.

 

I agree try to relax. I'll have a 7 yr old, a 2.5 yr old and twins in just a couple months. I have full confidence the first 6 wks are going to be hell. The first 6 months are going to be rough, but then after that things will fall into place and a routine will be set and we'll all start to function as a family.

Go into this with realistic expectations. Are you going to live on take out or mac n cheese for awhile...probably! Is your older child going to wear jammies all day most days....probably! Is your house going to be a mess.....definetly!! But are you going to have the time of your life when things fall into place?!?! ABSOLUTELY! Don't expect too much of yourself, OR your other children and dh! It'll all work out in the end I promise! :hug: