Sharing Fits

I don't know if this is normal or not but my boys refuse to share me, meaning they both can't sit with me at the same time it's either 1 or the other. I try to give them both the same amount of affection and time but it's impossible to be a 50/50 split at all times since there are so many periods throughout the day where they alternate how much of me they need. It's so hard because it's incredibly frustrating and heartbreaking all at the same time. For example, I try and make sure that I alternate who gets help with what first like shoes but no matter what the one who is "second" cries hysterically until they have their shoes on. I have tried putting putting one show on Alex and one on River and visa versa but I get the same result. They push to get to the table if it's something they really want and if I'm holding one there is no chance in h-e-double hockey sticks that the other will be okay with that. It's so bad that they will actually fight to sit with me and put their hand out to the other and cry out "MY TURN!".

Does anyone else have this problem?

If it makes a difference I am a SAHM and their Dad works a lot so he's not home most of the time.

 

My kids do this, too. They used to be willing to sit on my lap together or whatever, but now they pitch a fit instead and don't want to share. It's frustrating for sure!! Like you said, no matter how I do it, it seems like someone is always unhappy.

 

My guys do this. But it stops for awhile when we have special mommy time.
Whether I pull one out from preschool or tuck one in at night and my dh the other...

Good luck!

 

My LOs also do this, but luckily not all the time. I have learnt to announce ahead of time whose turn it is to sit beside me at the table or behind me in the car etc. and to tell that we will switch over for the next meal, trip etc. For other things or when I forgot whose turn it is I have a fun counting-out rhyme and they often accept the result as random luck or bad luck. It can be frustrating when everyone dissolves into tears but they need to learn to take turns and share.

For some things I am very strict that they have to share me - sitting on my lap reading books, getting dressed (I kneel between them and help with one item left and one item right). If they start fighting and pushing the other one away or crying for more attention I just walk away, end of activity.

All of this seems to work better if I find enough opportunities for individual hugs and cuddling or a few minutes alone with mom for a certain activity.

 

Just wanted to add in here even though my two are 8 now. I was always trying to keep track of who did what first and switch, but it has honestly continued on. They fight over who was on the left side waving to daddy in a morning. They fight over which way I turn onto the street as there is two ways, if one asks to go a certain way you can be assured the next day the other one wants to go the other way. If one sits on my knee, the other will still always follow, and try to cuddle them both together is a war. So my favourite saying is "not everything is equal"

 

No unfortunately this has been going on since the boys turned 1. When the fits start about who gets a diaper first or dressed. socks, etc. my sayings are "Mommy can only do one at a time" or "I wish Mommy had 4 hands but I don't so please be patient".

 

No unfortunately this has been going on since the boys turned 1. When the fits start about who gets a diaper first or dressed. socks, etc. my sayings are "Mommy can only do one at a time" or "I wish Mommy had 4 hands but I don't so please be patient".

 

No unfortunately this has been going on since the boys turned 1. When the fits start about who gets a diaper first or dressed. socks, etc. my sayings are "Mommy can only do one at a time" or "I wish Mommy had 4 hands but I don't so please be patient".

 

My pair don't really do this too much, but I wanted to share something another twin mom told me to do if it does. You have alternating days for each child, and whoever has that day gets to do everything first and pick everything. Alex has Mon, Wed and one weekend day Sat, Stephanie has Tues, Thur and one weekend day Sun. If it's Mon, Alex gets to push all the buttons, make a ll the decisions, do everything first, and Stephanie can't complain about it. If it's Tues, Stephanie does it all and Alex doesn't complain. On Friday, you get to choose. Hope that works for you!
Michele