Sharing a bed

Lately Carter has been getting into bed with Ashton after I leave the room at bed time. I don't have a problem with it, but apparently Ashton does. He yells "owee, owee!" which I assume is because Carter us kicking him (he gets in at the foot of the bed so they are sleeping toe to toe). I went in twice tonight and told Carter to sleep in his own bed but just peeked in and he's asleep in Ashton's bed again. They were awake very late because carter kept bugging Ashton and getting in his bed. I kinda feel bad for Carter cuz he just wants to be near his brother, which I think is kinda cute, but not if it's making Ashton mad. Should I push the issue and keep Putting Carter back in his own bed? Or just let Ashton put up with it?

 

We have serious cases of musical beds here too!

For the twins- they each have their own bed (share a room) and there is also a queen futon in their room. If they want to share a bed then they can sleep on the futon, but their individual beds are where they can go when they want to sleep alone. My older kids also have their own beds (and their own rooms) but in my room we have a queen matress on the floor where they can sleep when sick, scared, etc.

I love the futon for that reason and so many more- great for rough housing, for nursing when they were younger, reading books to everyone, etc.

 

I don't think Ashton should have to put up with it if he doesn't want to. Is there any way you could move their beds closer together (touching)? Either side by side so it's basically a double bed or in an L shape. That way Carter would be able to be close to his brother but they would still have their own space.

Otherwise I would say keep pushing the issue and moving Carter back to his own bed, emphasise that their beds belong to them and they have to ask if they want to climb in their brother's. He can only get in Ashton's bed if Ashton says it's OK. If that still doesn't work you may have to look at some kind of reward/consequence system to get Carter to stop. I know it seems mean when he just wants to be near to his brother but I try to look at it from the perspective of the other twin, he deserves to have a space to sleep in without being kicked.
We had a similar issue with hugging (with both my sets) where one twin would want to give hugs and kisses to the other a lot and the second twin didn't like it. While I felt bad for the child who wanted to give hugs (they were only being loving after all) I also felt it was important that the other child got the personal space they wanted/needed and wasn't forced into unwelcome physical contact.

I hope you can figure out something that will make them both happy.

 

My 2 climb in bed with each other often, but neither seem to object to it so I feel like it is okay. But if Ashton doesn't like it, I don't think he should have to share his bed. I like the idea of moving their beds as close together as possible, maybe just being closer would be enough for Carter!

 

Since one of your boys isn't OK with the idea of his brother sharing his bed, I think you need to back him up. I think you're going to have to do as a PP mentioned and keep after Carter to stay in his own bed.

You may find that once you start doing that, Ashton will change his mind and want his brother to sleep with him. That happens with my boys on occassion. Once they realize that their voice is being heard and respected, they are OK allowing the other to do whatever it was.

Another thing you could try was something else a PP mentioned. Pushing the beds side by side. That's actually what we've done in our boys' room. It looks a little weird, but they are happy, and so I am happy.

 

Well apparently Carter has lost interest in ashton's bed for now. He spent one night in bed with him and I guess has decided his bed is better. Sigh, children...u think you have one thing figured out and then they switch it up on you...

 

:laughing: They sound like mine! If he changes his mind (again ) then I agree with trying to move the beds closer. Good luck!