Share your "NO" phrases

I feel like I'm using "NO" waaaay too often. (So much so, that Nick's first word was "no no no no no". Okay, so his first word was ball, but this is the ONLY word he uses spontaneously). I'd like to reserve no for important stuff...not the everyday stuff.

My boys are into EVERYTHING so I feel like all I do all day long is say no. I realize how completely ineffective it has become. I understand I will still feel like all I do all day long is say 'no', but I'd just like it to be less using 'no' while still getting my point across, KWIM?


Some phrases we currently use:

Hurt Baby (electrical outlets, etc)
Yucky (not for eating)
Hot (oven, food, etc)

Can you share what you have used?

 

"we don't hit" "we don't......" for a lot of stuff!

 

We use "... is not okay" a lot (with the older one)

 

We tell them what we want them to do. For instance, insteading of saying, "no, don't stand in the bath" we say, "please sit in the bath". We also use, "don't", but still prefer "sit on your bottom in chairs"...

We have a neighbor who's 2yo is all about "no" and we hate running into him for fear of the word rubbing off.

 

I say, "I dont think so!" or i also say please phrases a lot..

 

I also use the "we don't...." and I say excuse me a lot. Now that they are getting a little older I've been giving choices, like "we don't do ... but you can do this or that."

 

I use "Let's not......"

I say "We don't......, too"

Or if pushing, snatching etc.. "Be nice to......"

 

Why don't we......and I offer an alternative. For instance if the boys are playing rough and wrestling. I try to get them to hug instead. Sometimes it works...sometimes it doesn't.

 

Apparently I say "Stop" alot because it is my son Ian's favorite word. If you are bothering him i.e. Talking while he is watching his fav cartoon, giving him a kiss when he doesn't want one or he is displeased he crumples his nose, turns his face to the side, puts him hand out (like talk to the hand) and says "Stop". He has just started to do this about two weeks ago, he never says "no" and neither does Evan, he just smiles and keeps right on doing what he is doing when he gets told no. Too funny...

Some words we use
Yucky
Hot
Ewww!
Oh no, what happened? When they knock something over etc.













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i don't do this on purpose, but i notice that i say "not" a lot - as in "not a toy", or "not yours", or "not nice". cameron has picked this up and will say "not yours" to other people when he doesn't want them taking something he's playing with/ using. oops!

i also will say things are naughty.

when i do say no, it is always "no, thank you" so and so - and i say it in a calm matter of fact voice, sometimes with an explanation (please put that back) or sometimes just in warning (if they are reaching for something they shouldn't have). we've done that since they were very little and it still works - sometimes i have to repeat it, but they almost always respond - granted sometimes they'll throw a tantrum because they didn't want to stop whatever i told them they couldn't do - but at least they do stop!

 

I also do a lot of "We don't..." and "Put that down" type of stuff. I try to avoid no mostly because I am tired of me saying it.

 

We try to avoid saying "No" (at time unsuccesfful :wacko: ). We try our very best to use, "we don't do", "please don't do", "it is not good to"...... good luck!

 

We use a lot of Don't... sentences as well. I also try to say what is that I want instead of no all the time. I also do say a lot of uh uh's. Lately, I have been usuing a lot of if, then statements as someone suggested here. I know they probably don't understand it right now but I figure if they hear it enough then eventually, they will understand that there will be consequences. For example, my one dd loves to get on the couch and pull on the blinds. This is a daily occurence. I say to her, if you do not sit down, then you are coming down. If she touches it again, she comes down. No second warnings in my house.

 

That's not for you! This is for you.

 

Very useful topic!

Yucky and hot are big ones for us. I try to reserve "No" for emergencies -- like when I turned my head for a second and when I turned it back, Amy was standing up on the seat of the shopping cart in the parking lot. That got a "NO!" and she sat right back down. DH isn't as good about it -- I often hear him prefacing things with "no no no" (in that singsong voice).

I also use "We don't", but I don't know if it's any better than just saying "No." (It also makes me feel like a nursery-school teacher. )

"Stop" is generally for physical motion -- like if they're about to walk off the curb, I say "Stop!" and they stop in their tracks. (I can't claim credit for this -- they must have learned it at daycare, because it worked for me the first time I used it!)

Ideally, I try to say what I do want them to do -- "Please give that back to Sarah," "Please bring me your shoes" rather than "No, that's Sarah's toy" or "No, don't throw your shoes under the couch."

I try to give choices, although these days they pretty much just play deaf.

And we are working on consequences, both natural ("If you keep running on the wet floor, you will fall down") and logical ("If you stand up in the tub again, your bath is all done.") They are starting to understand this a lot more since 18 months than they did earlier, but they're also testing boundaries a lot more. It would be nice if the logic could come BEFORE the defiance.

 

I find myself saying "stop" a lot. Also,

"not nice"
"that's rude" (for spitting, hitting, etc)
"uh oh"
"don't"

 

Wow, thanks for all the responses, ladies. I am having a big DUH moment as I read over these suggestions?!?!

I think my biggest challenge will be in training myself (& DH & Gma) to avoid NO unless absolutely necessary.

Alden, I'm jealous that all you have to do is stay STOP and they stop! I'd love to think that my boys will fall in line when we're 4 months older, but I'm not holding my breath.